Just looking for advice really about my job

4 Comments

I got my job back in February, as a part-time thing just to pay the bills (focusing on other stuff in life, long-term stuff)

I put open availability, so I could schedule my life around it but specifically told my boss during interview I wanted a regular schedule that didn't bounce around. So eventually after waiting 4 months I got that. But he wants me to work full time. I told him I couldn't and he basically made it seem like it was because I was in an abusive relationship and kept rubbing it in my face (that's not it, and I'm not)

I planned on scheduling my life around the job, and finally, since I had a consistent schedule for a month I figured I could finally make other commitments. My boss somehow acts like I'm a terrible person because of that, but I have come in and helped him out countless times and even stayed overtime a few times.

But it's like the more I give, the more he takes and it's run me into a deep depression and feeling like my life is meaningless. I can't even really afford my bills anymore because the job is 40 minutes walking distance away and he wants me to literally work my feet to the bone so I have to uber home. (he always offers me rides, but you'll figure out why I don't want to accept them)

To top it off today he made an extremely disgusting, sexual joke about my bf and I because he saw us at the movie theatre and we got to talking about the movie (it was deadpool, it was the strap on reference) We were talking about why kids should or should not be allowed to see the movie. I didn't think he'd go that far, but he did. It just made me sick.

Technically he can fuck up my schedule and doesn't have to allow me a change in availability legally so it's not like I can report him. (No one else even cares about his sexual harassment, everyone thinks it's funny) And this is my first job so getting another would be incredibly hard without his good word. (I also live in the middle of nowhere, getting a job takes at least 2+ months) I'm just so miserable.

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Nickvey
    5 years ago

    no one can find out you worked for him unless you tell them. so go out and find that first job.

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    It sounds like your boss has gradually worn you down, pushed against proper workplace boundaries, and sucked you in to a situation where the more you give, the more he takes.

    Few things in life are perfect, and it's usually a matter of trying to weigh the costs against the benefits. It sounds like the costs of your job are starting to outweigh the benefits, so you need to move on.

    I suggest you start searching for another job now. Say nothing to your boss or work colleagues about this. If you're taking positive, concrete steps to improve your life, that often makes dealing with the present reality a little easier.

    You're right that a positive reference from a previous employer is a good thing to have, but a prospective employer should understand if you say you don't want them to contact your current employer. The fact that you are currently employed should say something about your value in itself.

    If you think your current boss is really so petty and vindictive that he would give you a bad reference just to spite you, then you might consider doing as Nickvey suggests and simply not mention that you ever had this job. However, experience and simply having held down a job of any sort counts for a lot with most employers. Also, if your current boss were to give you a very negative reference, most people would wonder why you weren't fired, but rather walked away from the job on your own.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    If he tries scheduling you too much just tell him you aren't available here and here and here and remind him that during the interview you said you wanted part time regularly scheduled shifts. If he says otherwise then it's time to move on. Just don't show up, just quit and walk as soon as you get your paycheck.

    You mentioned living in an area where jobs are scarce. Consider moving.

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    • PlentyOfColors
      5 years ago

      That's definitely my plan. My bf and I are not going to live together and I plan on moving out of town, but I need to save up money to do so.

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