Living with a low sex drive wife

33% Normal
21 Comments

She is abnormally low in physical drive, never misses me even if I don't get close to her for weeks or avoid sex for months. Never have I found her keeping the house clean and tidy. It's been this way since the day we married (arranged). No hopes of divorce either. Have spoken to her many times and have seen robotic indulgence in physical act for a while. What boils me is her act of turning her face off during a kiss, not to mention the lips are always closed and during sex, avoiding missionary position and even if we do engage, turning face away and giving unpleasant expressions. We talked about it and there is effort to correct that too! I mean, do we really need to talk about it? Forget about oral sex. My penis is directed to the side ways lest it should eject something crappy on her pious body. Oh that reminds me, I'm a fully fit attractive man (I had passionate girl friends whom I avoided from long term relationships). I feel karma caught up with me in an over weight short woman who is no match to me physically. She is overweight, less physically involved and snores disgusting things out at night. However, I kept the sanctity of marriage intact. We have two beautiful kids that I engage myself with. Time has flown past so fast. I find myself in a 16 years of loveless and passionless marriage. I don't think she finds anything missing in these years. I have come to realize that I have grown old in a purposeless life. Is it too late to call it off? and do what? I'm directionless and hopeless. I wish I can go back in time and take the wise decision of not getting married at all. Is this a normal thought at the age of 45? Shall I relocate somewhere under the pretext of job demands and find a partner that I truly deserve? I'm sure nobody is going to miss me except my younger kid. Please share your thoughts.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 6 votes (2 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 21 )
  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    If she has a low sex drive there are only a couple of reasons why. Its either a psychological or hormonal reason within her, or you're just not doing it for her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    Is she open to having a discussion about how this is an important part of your needs... and potentially giving you permission to have another GF (with rules on that).

    The situation in our marriage is different; but, it turned out that my wife cannot satisfy my sexual needs; and she agreed to allow another partner (with rules) after we spent 6 months in counseling with a sex therapist on where and why we were having issues.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • rgtry2020
      3 years ago

      That's an option I tried once before. I kept it open only to find more drama and heart aches in the end. It all ended up with me being accused of infidelity and lacking responsibilities! Even tried the divorce route but to no luck.
      Thanks!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
        3 years ago

        Did she agree to you doing that at first?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • rgtry2020
          3 years ago

          No, never. She left for her parents' house after we had a bitter altercation. Didn't come back for about a year, and then showed up from nowhere asking for mercy and reunion. I kept her at a distance by not sharing the bed for another year. She wouldn't leave. I sometimes wish she dies.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
            3 years ago

            This isnt the moral thing to do and ppl will say its bad but I would definitely get a girlfriend on the side. It's her fault she cant satisfy her own husband.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Get a new one.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • rgtry2020
      3 years ago

      I tried it once but it came with shit loads of emotions and drama.
      Thanks!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Tommythecaty
        3 years ago

        I’ll rephrase, get a new one that is also a good one. There are plenty of good women out there in the world.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • rgtry2020
          3 years ago

          I wish to do that , but not sure how and when and where. Thank you buddy for the concern anyways.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • Tommythecaty
            3 years ago

            😁

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • Inkmaster
    3 years ago

    Two words: marriage counseling

    Also, what country are you living in that still does arranged marriages?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • rgtry2020
      3 years ago

      Arranged marriage was my choice and a way of showing respect to my parents. I wasn't forced into it.
      My thoughts were more on the terms of everyone is the same, so what's the point of falling in love and then marrying, rather marry and fall in love with the person. The so called "love marriages" fall apart too. However, I didn't realize that its easy to get divorced in a love marriage. The women are ambitious there!
      And those thoughts came easily to me as I was a much sought after material. How could any girl not like me!!! Little did I realize that when people get things easy, they don't value its worth.
      Appreciate the time you took to read and respond to my post. I'm at a point where I don't want to continue but don't know the way out either. Kind of gotten used to living with this pig but the deep rooted hatred flares up now and then. Forgot to mention, she has a low sense of smell and hearing. I wonder what she could find attractive or repulsive in a man with such deficiencies. While I sympathize and don't bring it up, I'm at a receiving end with no gratitude or sense of fulfillment.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      -1
      -1
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Arranged marriage sounds nightmarish to me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • bigbudchonga
    3 years ago

    This is just an unfortunate situation, dude. Honestly, I don't think the whole arranged marriage thing is so bad if two people want it, but I can see how it would end like this.

    How do you think she's feel about you getting a mistress? This situation really does sound untenable. I bet she's not happy either, from the reactions she seems to be having.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • rgtry2020
      3 years ago

      That's what I believed too. I once got separated, on my insistence, for about a year only to be chased by her and her parents later. They are not ready to let me live with any other girl. Basically, her mantra is, I'm not capable of providing you your deserved love, but I wouldn't let you find for yourself either!
      During those times I tried the divorce path, consulted a few lawyers only to find that our legal system allows no practical grounds for husbands to file the case on. Also, I have kids whom I love. I'm kind of lost in this hopeless situation.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • bigbudchonga
        3 years ago

        Yeah, man, I'm not going to bullshit you, it does sound like a pretty bad situation with no obvious solution. What country are you in, and have you tried talking to her parents about it and seeing if they can do anything?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • rgtry2020
          3 years ago

          Her parents? I think when you have a destined fateful catastrophe, all hell will break loose at the same time. That's what happened with me. They are liars, pretentious , argumentative, money-minded and negatively tuned folks. I was later told by their neighborhood that this family lacks demeanor and civility.
          I experienced it first time when I invited them to my house for a civil discussion a decade ago around my problems. They never let me talk and made her daughter do all the talking/shouting and left the place without understanding the motive behind the meeting! Have you seen the movie Matilda? She comes from an Indian version of it this end!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • bigbudchonga
            3 years ago

            Yeah, you're fucked mate. What's your plan?

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • rgtry2020
              3 years ago

              For now, I've reduced communicating with her. Once all this global pandemic is settled, I'm hoping to find a distant job as a means to distant myself from the family, while financially supporting her and kids, giving me some relief and options to explore without any strings attached. Do you have any better options to explore?

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0