Long held phobia of leaving the house, iin?

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8 Comments

For a very long time, I have had a crippling fear of leaving my home. The fear started in my childhood until it gradually worsened over the years. There was one point, where I was even paranoid about being seen by neighbors inside my home and out on my property.

I am an adult now and I rarely leave my house. I stopped having a "social life" many years ago. I only leave my house for important things like going to the grocery store or for doctors appointments.

The main reason why I was so scared to leave my house was because I felt as if I didn't have the right to do so. I was scared that if I did leave my house to walk around the area that many bad things would happen. These things were; 1. That the neighbors wouldn't know who I was and that they would call the police if they saw me, 2. That I would get arrested in general for coming off as an unfamiliar character, 3. That I would forget who I was or where I was going and get lost. (etc.)

I didn't realize how serious this was nor how unreasonable I was being until I told my therapist about this. She thinks that me being so isolated is unhealthy and I am starting to agree with her.

Realizing that I have a problem has made me realize just how much that I have missing out on life. I have also realized that this type of behavior is extremely unhealthy. Despite knowing these facts, I somehow feel as thought the severity of the situation hasn't even really been penetrating deeply. I really would like to leave my house especially, since the climate is getting warmer. I have been given opportunities to leave the house and walk to a nearby relative's home but, I somehow have ended up never doing this.

What should I do about this?

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Based on 36 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • hairyfairy
    10 years ago

    This fear you have is called agoraphobia, it`s quite common. Therapy is the way to get rid of it.

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    • Avant-Garde
      9 years ago

      Thank you. I figured that this was a large part of it. Actually, I have been seeing a therapist. It is just until now that I have decided to actually take an initiative and follow her advice on that it isn't healthy for me to spend so much time in the house grounded by my fears.

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  • Caryopteris
    10 years ago

    You need to go outside when the sun is shining and work in the yard. Forget everything except weeding and picking up, whatever you can find to do out there. Spend 1 1/2 hours outside. Do it again tomorrow. Do it whenever it is decently nice outside, even if you need a coat. When it's warm enough, go out and buy some soil and plants and plant them. Water them in. Care for them.

    The exercise and sunshine and digging in the dirt are therapy, believe me.

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    • misanthropeUK
      10 years ago

      I totally agree with the comment about doing gardening - it's very therapeautic. You have a serious issue and sadly conventional western psychiatry is so retarded that unless you have an exceptional therapist it's unlikely to help much, because they won't understand how you feel and will just try to treat it like an ordinary phobia as though it's a superficial thing and not something that's welded to your very core, that is an all-consuming compulsion, which is overpowering and can't simply be conquered by your thoughts, because it's like a monster dominating your motivation. I understand all that.

      You have a (GAD) General Anxiety Disorder - you need to look that up online, because there are many very good forums and help sites about it with good advice and support.

      It's extremely hard to tackle, but only you know how bad it is and what scares you, so you need to try and tackle these bit by bit, slowly, one small step at a time, and then you'll gradually get stronger and better. If you can find someone to support you at your own pace to be there to give you confidence when you decide to take the steps you've decided to do then that will help - but it's not essential.

      They key is to try the least scary steps first. Do them for very short periods and end them as soon as you feel stressed - such as being brave and going into your yard for a minute. Then keep repeating this 1-2 times per day until such time that it doesn't stress you; then bit by bit increase the time. People may look at you or speak to you, but try to handle it and go back inside to feel safe afterwards; when you do you can feel good about yourself for handling it and also affirm that nothing bad happened to you.

      It will take a long time - at least a year before you'll be able to take a walk through your neighbourhood with little fear, but it will make you better. Of course, there will be times and people that set you back and make you feel bad, but that is how life is, by that stage you'll feel stronger and more able to cope, so you'll pick yourself up and carry on.

      Eventually you'll be a changed person for the better. The most important thing is that you've decided that this current state is not what you want and that you want to change, so this will help spur you onwards.

      I hope this helps.

      Good luck!

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      • Avant-Garde
        9 years ago

        Thank you for your advice.

        My therapist is a true gem. She's a very special person who I trust. I've realized that I haven't really been fully trying on treating my issues. I keep putting things aside out of fear. Again, out of fear, I tend to try running away from my problems with procrastination, but this escapism isn't benefiting my life at all. I'm going to walk to my relative's home, take my doctor's advice about how I really need to get out of the house. If it works well, I don't see why I can't walk around the neighborhood/area.

        I did some gardening the other day and it felt great. I am going to try to get more gardening supplies so I can properly fulfill my love for botany.

        Thank you for putting a name on what it is that I have. This whole time I thought that it was Agoraphobia with a social phobia. I guess that I forgot about my issues with anxiety.

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    • Avant-Garde
      9 years ago

      Hi and thank you. Yesterday, I transplanted my Dracena and sat out on the porch with it for a while. Feeling the wind and hot sun on my body. Seeing the wind blow through the plants. Hearing the birds chirp. It all made me realize how by letting my life be run by fear, how much I have wasted of my life. I've been so silly. Being one with nature really puts things into perspective. It felt good. I am going to try to walk to my relative's home. It should further clear my mind so, that I can properly gain independence. It should, hopefully, be an aid for relieving family stress and saving my relative's gas, car wise.

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  • misanthropeUK
    10 years ago

    I totally agree with the comment about doing gardening - it's very therapeautic. You have a serious issue and sadly conventional western psychiatry is so retarded that unless you have an exceptional therapist it's unlikely to help much, because they won't understand how you feel and will just try to treat it like an ordinary phobia as though it's a superficial thing and not something that's welded to your very core, that is an all-consuming compulsion, which is overpowering and can't simply be conquered by your thoughts, because it's like a monster dominating your motivation. I understand all that.

    You have a (GAD) General Anxiety Disorder - you need to look that up online, because there are many very good forums and help sites about it with good advice and support.

    It's extremely hard to tackle, but only you know how bad it is and what scares you, so you need to try and tackle these bit by bit, slowly, one small step at a time, and then you'll gradually get stronger and better. If you can find someone to support you at your own pace to be there to give you confidence when you decide to take the steps you've decided to do then that will help - but it's not essential.

    They key is to try the least scary steps first. Do them for very short periods and end them as soon as you feel stressed - such as being brave and going into your yard for a minute. Then keep repeating this 1-2 times per day until such time that it doesn't stress you; then bit by bit increase the time. People may look at you or speak to you, but try to handle it and go back inside to feel safe afterwards; when you do you can feel good about yourself for handling it and also affirm that nothing bad happened to you.

    It will take a long time - at least a year before you'll be able to take a walk through your neighbourhood with little fear, but it will make you better. Of course, there will be times and people that set you back and make you feel bad, but that is how life is, by that stage you'll feel stronger and more able to cope, so you'll pick yourself up and carry on.

    Eventually you'll be a changed person for the better. The most important thing is that you've decided that this current state is not what you want and that you want to change, so this will help spur you onwards.

    I hope this helps.

    Good luck!

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  • Syniister
    9 years ago

    It's a thing. Look it up in psych somewhere.

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