Married? no, you aren't...

45% Normal
41 Comments

It gets on my nerves when a couple who aren't actually married tell everyone that they are.
When a couple of unmarried people go about calling each other" husband" and "wife", when they are not, they are expressing the belief that their own relationship is somehow less than that of a married couples, otherwise why the pretending?
If they feel that marriage is what it's all about, why not stop lying and pretending about their status, and just get married?
Is it normal for couples to pretend in this way about being married?

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 69 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 41 )
  • disthing
    9 years ago | pl

    Never met a couple who do this.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      I've known quite a few couples who do this.
      Most of them have been together for many years, live together, and live the lifestyle of a typical married couple or family.
      So, they obviously aspire to hold the titles of husband and wife, and all that.
      I wonder, why they don't either just sign the paperwork, or stop presenting themselves in a false manner?
      There's nothing wrong with just being together, as a couple. Being married doesn't automatically equate to a better kinship, and still that's their presentation to the world.
      People are strange.

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      • modernism
        9 years ago

        A few states in the U.S. have Common Law Marriage where it says if the couple has been living together for many years then they are considered to be "married".

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  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    They probably got tired of correcting people.

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  • FishBoJimEr
    9 years ago

    What if it is a same sex couple and they can't legally get married where they live?

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Yeesh, that's a toughie.
      I don't know any same sex couples who do this, only straights.
      In that sort of a case, I don't think it would be so bothersome.
      With everyone who I know that does this, people who have every ability to just go get married if they want to, it's irksome.
      It seems to me, that they're giving the impression that even though they're together as a couple, and love each other and intend to stay together indefinitely, they are declaring to the world that, what they have together is somehow inferior to couples who have signed the marriage paperwork.
      - Like they're saying that unless a couple is married, their bond somehow doesn't count as much.
      It's sort of like they are devaluing their own relationship by saying that their titles are one thing, when they are in fact, something else.

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      • FishBoJimEr
        9 years ago

        What if they are anarchist? They do not believe in the government.So a government sanctioned marriage would be meaningless to them.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          If they disregarded government institutions, such as marriage, then why would they want to refer to themselves in such a way as to promote adherence to the institution?

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          • slings_and_arrows
            9 years ago | pl

            It doesn't promote adherence it flies in the face of it i.e it is as though to say we are married (in our hearts, spiritually) without any of your bullshit legal institution crap. I can see that 50 years from now people could still be using 'husband' and 'wife' but wont even think about doing the signing the papers.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              Like when women feel empowered by calling other women bitches, or how blacks "took back" the word nigge?

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          • FishBoJimEr
            9 years ago

            Because marriage didn't used to be a government institution. For thousands of years it had nothing to do with the government. That's just common sense.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              You're right. Back then, it had more to to with religious institutions, ownership of land and other property, and debts paid with the betrothal of daughters and sons.

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  • slings_and_arrows
    9 years ago

    If they.love eachother and are committed etc then there isn't anything false in it. Plenty of legally married people are living a sham. Maybe some couples don't agree morally with signing paperwork and the legal side of it.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Well, in such a case that they aren't down with the legalities aspect of it, why would they essentially emulate the institution that they do not adhere to by taking on the monikers, I wonder?

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      • slings_and_arrows
        9 years ago

        They aren't emulating anything. Love came first not marriage. People have been falling in love and sharing their shelter and having children since millenia ago. Marriage is a construct which came later.

        We dont have other words so maybe that's why they use those monikers. Bf/gf doesn't fit, partner can be annoying.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          Makes sense.
          I'm not saying that being together as a couple or as a family is what's annoying.
          It's the inaccuracy of the title of married.
          There really ought to be a better, more accurate term, though.

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          • Freedom_
            9 years ago

            How about 'endevowed'? The man could call the woman endeva and the woman could call the man endevo. *coined* spread the word.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              You heard it first here, folks! :)

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Why does this bother you so much? How does it affect you even in the slightest? If a couples chooses to do this for whatever reason, then it is their business and their business alone.
    I don't see where you or your feelings come into the equation at all.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      My feelings do matter.
      It annoys me.
      Why does anything annoy anyone?
      It's a pet peeve of mine, hence, I posted my query under the category of Pet Peeves, on this web site here, that we're both on, in order to ask questions and have those questions answered.

      The question was, Is it normal?

      The question was NOT, Will you please give me an irrelevant rambling that does not answer the question that was asked?

      If the case was the latter, then you will have fulfilled your end beautifully.

      But alas, it was not.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        Obviously, I don't think its normal, do I?
        I think its none of your business what others do if it doesn't hurt anybody else. I'm very sorry you think it is, because that just makes you another busybody and there are so many of those already, we really don't need any more.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          If I were a busybody, I reckon that I would go to each and every one of my friends and acquaintances who do this annoying thing, wag my finger at them and tell them to cease this behaviour immediately.
          But, I posted a query here instead to gauge the opinions of others on the subject, out of curiosity.
          So, you're wrong and weirdly angry about this pet peeve of mine....

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          • thegypsysailor
            9 years ago

            Very few busybodies actually confront others. Most hide safely in their homes, peering from behind their curtains, judging others.

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    I have never had a couple lie about that.

    I do have people call my bf my husband and me his wife...I correct them. Even our own parents do it all the time.

    There is common law marriage that varies in different states...Google for more information.

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  • WhiteStallion
    9 years ago

    I think that's hilarious. Even if couples were doing this around me, I wouldn't know because I wouldn't be able to tell the difference in the first place! I think they should just get married if they like the status so much.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      True. I suppose I only know the difference because it's couples that I know personally engaging in this strange sham.

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    9 years ago

    Why do you care so much that has nothing to do with you? is the real question here.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      That is NOT, in fact, the question.

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      • DubstepismyMJ
        9 years ago

        Damn youre close minded.

        Get annoyed by irrelevant things forever than. What do i care.

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          You care enough to post comments about it. And you probably smell like pee.

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  • sillygirl77
    9 years ago

    You have a right to be annoyed by it and they have a right to do it.

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  • umph
    8 years ago

    If they consider themselves as married and like to talk like this, why are you bothered?
    It is their rigth to free speech. They do not insult you, they do not call for violence and they do not deny the Holocaust!

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  • Alquen
    9 years ago

    Related question:
    What makes two people married, in your view?

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  • Miller18
    9 years ago

    That would have to be made up by the the girl or women of the relationship !!!! there cant be and male wanting to lie to every about be marryed unless the women tell him too !

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Oddly enough, both are doing it.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    It doesn't matter. Marriage is an intangable concept. Saying you are married is no different than claiming to belong to any other made up group. Whether or not they have a government document doesnt make a difference. 1000 years ago all married couples did this.

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