Most of you are homos

18 Comments

Most of you are homosexuals. You sip iced coffee while holding the top of the cup with your pinkies extended as opposed to firmly grasping the circumference of the beverage container. You walk like dinosaurs in your Daisy Dukes with your porn-stached faces fixed to penis-shaped heads gripped tightly by rhinestone-studded leather cowboy hats. You claim to be straight, but every time you belch, you have to wipe the seed off of your lips. You have sucked enough cocks to fill an aircraft carrier and your idea of a horror movie involves a killer vagina eating your "room mate." You have never had a straight thought in your life, your head is a veritable potpourri of celebrity gossip, Downton Abbey-inspired home decor magazine gibberish, which quarterback has the hottest butt, and Lady Gaga lyrics. You are a cock-crazy, ass-homing, dinosaur-handed disaster freak strutting down blazing hot southwestern streets filled with likewise-minded Sunbelt Sodomites looking to fill their ravenous appetites with leather-daddy man meat from the Swish Saloon.

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Comments ( 18 )
  • dirtybirdy
    1 year ago | pl

    Thank you

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety
    1 year ago

    I don't know what you're talking about. All of this sounds pretty hetero to me.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Haha no bro, that shit's totally gay, bro. I drink cheap beer out of an unwashed sock. I've never seen a dick in my life, never even looked down when I pee. My mouthwash is pussy-flavored, and I only eat my steaks cooked 30 seconds on each side. I'm married to some pigskin, btw.

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      • Iambillythemenacetosociety
        1 year ago

        Drinks cheap beer out of an unwashed sock...That's gay af.

        You're so gay that you don't even know what's hetero or gay anymore.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          1 year ago

          I smashed all of my names into one because I'm that much of a 3-in-1 kind of guy.

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  • litelander8
    1 year ago

    TLDR

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      "Too Long, Didn't Ride."

      You're more into fat cocks with girthy circumferences as opposed to long, skinny cocks.

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  • Curiouskitten444
    1 year ago

    Dictionary definition right there

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Looked up "homosexual" in the dictionary, got "see: isitnormal.com"

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  • Grunewald
    1 year ago

    You forgot plushie-making.

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  • kelili
    1 year ago

    "You have sucked enough cocks to fill an aircraft carrier and your idea of a horror movie involves a killer vagina eating your "room mate.""

    I bow down to this beautiful sentence.

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    Op has big gay energy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Big straight energy - my cock was so unbelievably straight and focused when I was writing my jeremiad, I MUST be straight.

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  • KholatKhult
    1 year ago

    Still safe to share needles with if that’s your thing

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    1 year ago

    Well I AM bisexual. I'm not cock crazy though. Hell, I'm not even vagina crazy. I'd rather just skip the boring oral foreplay and go straight to the sex.
    :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      You say that, yet you have "cunt" in your name...curious.

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      • Cuntsiclestick
        1 year ago

        My cousin used the word Cuntsiclestick in an attempt to insult me once. It backfired because I really liked the word and started using it as a username. Honestly it was so long ago I have no idea what we argued about anymore. XD

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          1 year ago

          Better than anything I was called by a cousin - I got "Pillsbury Doughboy" despite being well-underweight, and not giggly.

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