Mother was giving baby for adoption but may not because i want custody

14% Normal
14 Comments

Ok so my situation now is that I meed to know from everyone on here there opinion. The mother of my baby was going to give up to adoption but I was in contact with her grandmother and let her know hey I don't want the baby to be adopted I want to take my baby. So she switched around and the grandmom said oh well how much do you want to pay for child support. I will take the baby before you do and that she will take care of the baby now. I'm worryed because if of my situation. Also I just need to know everyones opinion. I live in a room I pay $440 a month for that has many bugs and bed bugs in it. It is no place for a baby to live so I was going to have the baby live with a friend and his family to help watch it and help me when they could. I live in a great town and have a few family and many friends and people support and help. However I only make $1200 a month and I don't drive or have a car. I was thinking about moving back to my mom's to save some money but she won't help me with the baby. To pay for everything will be up to me I could also go back to work at an old job at redners 3rd shit to make alittle bit more money and hopefully get an apartment. The grandmother though lives in her own house with my ex and her brother and another family of three in a small trailer park home. The grandmom is 60 years old and has alot of issues and can't really raise the baby from alot she said and my ex has alot of issues and is incapable of rasing a baby too. She cheated on me a few times and well is fucked up in her head and she knows about her issues because she talked about it a few times and those two fight and stuff sometimes. I need to know do you think I could actually have a chance to win against them? Because they are in a good position financial and environment and stuff. Also if I could even possibly raise a baby as a single father. Because I'm starting too worry and have doubts for the best interest of the baby. I love my child so much and would give my attention and decade my life to my baby. It's all that I want to do and it really upsets me so much because I want my baby and to be her daddy and Raise her no matter what I have to do

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14% Normal
Based on 7 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago | pl

    As I’ve stated before, learn how to use paragraphs before raising a kid.

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    • ijustwannaknowifimodd
      5 years ago

      Quite clearly a saying you've said many times before. I myself use this very saying multiple times a day.

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    • REDEYES22
      5 years ago

      I do it off a phone so it's harder to type

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        I'm in my phone too, but I always proofread my stuff.

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  • litelander8
    5 years ago

    Sounds like you didn't get a lawyer like everyone suggested to you previously. Neither of you sound appropriate to raise a baby. I would put the baby up for adoption.

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    • REDEYES22
      5 years ago

      I do have a lower in two weeks but I'm just unsure if i will screw myself over trying to do this

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  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    The first thing to do is establish whether or not you're the baby's father. By the way, the fact that she cheated on you only has relevance to your possible fatherhood, it has nothing to do with whether or not she's capable of being a good mother to the baby.

    It doesn't sound to me as if ANYONE in this scenario would be good for the baby, who is THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON, ALWAYS!

    Assuming you establish your fatherhood, all you can do is maintain contact with your child, financially support it and keep checking the baby is being cared for. For all you know, motherhood may change your ex into the perfect mother!

    If you know in the future that the baby is being neglected or ill treated, there will be remedies available to you: if that does turn out to be the case a drastic improvement in your own living & financial situation could gain you custody, but I reckon that would be unlikely and the child would be fostered out or adopted.

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  • SwickDinging
    5 years ago

    Is your name going to be put on the birth certificate? The mother will be in charge of that. If she doesn't name you as the father on the birth certificate (which she doesn't have to even if she knows it's you - fucked up, I know) then you don't have a leg to stand on. It will be very difficult for you to get any rights over the baby.

    Even if you pay for a paternity test I think she is allowed to refuse to do it in certain circumstances, and even if she does it and it shows you are the biological father they will massively favour the mother, or grandmom because she has a home and an income and lives with the mother. The whole system is stacked against dads.

    If the grandmom takes the baby then I guess all you can do is be there for the kid in any way you can. Put money aside for it when it turns 18 and wants to go to a college which the deadbeat grandmom won't pay for. Visit and be present. If you can prove you're the dad then they will be legally forced to allow you visiting rights. You will have to fight for them, of course, but eventually you will get them and then they are legally bound to stick to it.

    Oh, and don't be a mug and start paying child support for the kid without getting a paternity test. If they refuse because they want to block your access to the child then they won't be able to demand any money off you. This usually sways the mother.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    How do you know it is yours? You said she cheats!

    Don't be silly! Its not your baby. What ya gonna do? Bring up another mans baby in a bedroom you stay at!

    I don't think you are equipped to look after a baby.

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  • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    5 years ago

    The best bet is to allow the grandmother to take care of it since you arent good financially. Don't give the kid to youe friend to take care of thats retarded as hell. Whether you like it or not your baby momma has leverage against you now. The best thing for your kid is for you to get along with your baby momma no matter how much she pisses you off. You should be able to call the baby momma and discuss this with her. You're a dad now. Swallow your pride and do whats best for your kid. Talk to the mother and be reasonable. Tell her you want to be there for him. You have to get along with her to raise this kid.

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    • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
      5 years ago

      Btw UPS pays drivers 38 an hour and january 2020 its going up to 40 an hour. Theres no reason you should only be making 1200 a month dude u can do better.

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  • SourDiesel
    5 years ago

    What a fucked up family. Clearly the mother and daughter aren’t too intelligent. Damn American Jerry Springer watching imbredded trash.

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  • Grunewald
    5 years ago

    Is there a government benefit you can claim for child support? You are a single parent. You need it. I'd be stunned if you aren't eligible.

    Otherwise, accept the help of the child's grandmother.

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  • Ummitsstillme
    5 years ago

    Tldr. Can i adopt your mother?

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