My 19year old boyfriend's parent's still rules his life

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6 Comments

I am 17 and my boyfriend is 19,we have been dating for 6months now, he used to live in the same town as me but is now living 120km away due to work, i am still in school, he wrote matric last year and got a job soon after, his parents never really liked me especially his mother, they have been trying to break us up since day 1,the other day he came to visit for Easter weekend and he was going to spend the first night at his parents house and then he would sleep over at my place the next night and then return to his parent's in the morning to which my aunt whom i live with agreed, he told his parents he's going to sleep over at my house and they said no, they said he can stay until 10pm then he should go home, TO WICH HE AGREED!! We watched movies and didn't check the time, 10:10pm his dad phoned and said he better go home and so they told him he wasn't allowed to see me the next day, when i tell him it's wrong and that he has a life of his own now and therefore can make his own decisions he just keeps on taking their side, i really like this guy but what if this is going to happen every time, he is 19 he has his own house and a very well paying job, they have no control over him according to south African law but he let's them walk all over him, it feels like he doesn't put me first and that kinda hurts, what am i supposed to do, i don't want to break up with him? I even tried talking to their parents and they still don't see that they are wrong....

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Based on 4 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • kikilizzo
    10 months ago

    He might have very controlling parents and been raised in a way so that he doesn't know how to stand up against them. 19 is still very young too, he's only been a legal adult for a year. You could bring it up with him carefully but be cautious, it's a touchy subject especially for a man to get told he can't stand up to his parents. I have known guys who well into their 20s are very close to their parents and definietely do what their parents tell them to even if they have a job and live on their own... Some people are just like that, and are likely to always be that way. Maybe they were lonely growing up and only had their parents to rely on and talk to and it created a very deep bond. There can be many reasons. If it's a big problem for you, you can be patient and with time he might start listening more to you instead of them.

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  • howaminotmyself
    10 months ago

    In the parent's eyes, they arent wrong. He was raised to respect his parents. That's a good thing. But they are being a little over protective. The more you fight it, the more likely it will drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend. He isn't likely to walk away from them. I think the best you can do is respect their wishes. Maybe try a compromise and meet in the middle by having him go home at whenever instead of having a curfew.

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  • Tinybird
    10 months ago

    19 and has his own house??? I find that hard to believe

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    10 months ago

    Why do they not like you though? If you ever want to get serious with him you'll need to find a way to get along with them or you'll just be driving the mans family apart.

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    • Nicka
      10 months ago

      I have no idea like seriously i didn't do anything wrong, but he says that they never liked any of his girlfriend's I've tried everything to get them to like me but nothing is working

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        10 months ago

        Try to win them over. Maybe ask him if you can come over his house and then hang out with them. Or ask him if yall all can go out to eat somewhere. He will tell his parents you want them to like you and they will give you a chance. As a guy I've experienced this with every girls dad I ever dated. I always tried to meet and get cool with their dads.

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