My boyfriend looks at porn online while i'm away...is it normal

Leave. You can not trust him. You do not respect him. You won't change him. He is what he is whatever other's opinions, what counts is yours. You don't like this. Leave and find a guy whose values you share and respect.

Definitely normal to be upset he's taking pictures of your friends in bikinis. I don't think that's normal at all. It probably happens all of the time, but you've got all right to be upset about that.

The porn thing, I've heard that a guy thing. I'm a girl, but pretty open minded, and if you listen to guys talk, a lot of them will save their favorite porn images/videos on their computer.

no..... it's not.... unless u want a lifetime of misery like me please take note. Porn desensitises men. They lose touch with what's nice, normal and loving. It's not enough for them. OK... so... if you still have a normal sex life (as you know it) with them.. fine. then perhaps they can keep the two separate. If that changes please please listen. You will suffer the consequences because you're not enough for them any more. That's what porn does. It takes the nature out of the man an presents him with the incredibly tempting unnatural. in the end it's evil and you will be the one who suffers. I know. I have to live with the consequences everyday.

Emma-

Just doing a Google search I found your story. I have a similar situation with my boyfriend of three years. He isn't into porn, but about 1.5 years ago I was using his computer for school. I saved a picture and when I couldn't find it I clicked "all images." What popped up stunned me. It was hundreds of pictures of girls from facebook that he knew, we both knew, or even just ones that I knew. It was the creepiest thing in the whole world to me and I literally felt like I had no idea who he even was anymore. I confronted him about it and he said that it was just something he's always done and that he didn't know why and he would stop. Well...about 4 months ago I checked his computer and there were images again. I was absolutely furious and confronted him right away. He apologized profusely and said that he never wanted to do it again, but he didn't know why he continued to do it. Our relationship moved on and it was fine, because we don't have any other problems. Two days ago I found more pictures. A lot of pictures. Its so strange because he takes the time to save them, put them in folders and he doesn't even bother to hide them that well. I don't know what to do. He deleted his facebook hoping to get rid of some of the temptation, but I still feel weird about the whole thing. Its creepy to me and I'm really worried he has a compulsive problem or addiction. Internet searches have brought me nothing, he really is a great guy but I honestly feel like I've been cheated on. Please Help!

Right long and short, get rid of him hes a twat! sure its normal for men (and women) to look at porn and you know he does and he knows that you know right? so why the secrets and password, and the pics of your friends? Sure you may have an amazing sex life, but lets face it its along side him getting off pics of yor mates! Get with someone who gives you more respect and makes you feel good about yourself, not someone who makes you feel like you should question yourself all the time, and yes I speak from experience, I have been through pretty much the same thing, caught him shagging half his friends list on facebook, despite out amazing sex life that hed boast about to his mates, and now im free of him, hes sad loenly and single and im happier than I have been in a long time, being me and not trying to compete with the porn he so desperatelty had to hide...

^get rid of the guy. even if you get rid of the computer he still has a problem and will find other ways.

You're all wrong.
My bf doesn't need to look at porn cause I'm all he needs..
He doesn't even like getting head!!! (I love doing it and know for a fact I'm a pro )
He could careless about a bunch of whores with fake softball tits.
Yes at one point everyone looks at porn in there life but I believe once you're in a relationship it is the same as cheating.
And no I'm not some prude, I love to have sex and want it numerous times a day, yeah I could go and look at cocks but I choose to wait for my man because I love him and want him...

Dont listen to anyone that says this is normal and that you should understand and all that bullshit. I had two 3 year long relationships in which porn was an issue. My most recent ex was the worst. He'd get on my computer when I was sleeping and then delete the history, watch movies while I was at work, and hide magazines in our room. I put up with it for a long time because he would say sorry that he couldnt help it and that he really loved me and that I'm the hottest girl he's ever seen. Plus we did have great sex. But in the end it came down to this: He has a serious problem and I could never feel good enough or be happy with someone that has that kind of a problem. Now I am with someone that would never look at porn and loves me enough to never want to do anything that would hurt me.
If your boyfriend doesnt stop now for you he never will and you will never be happy even if you convince yourself that you're okay with it. Trust me, as hard as it is, you need to leave him. You deserve to be with someone that appreciates you and loves you enough not to stoop so low as to look at porn. The sooner you leave him the sooner you will find the right person for you.
I went through the same horrible realizations as you when I first found out my ex's porn addictions and it is very hurtful so I know what you are going throuhg.

If your sex life is great, then he loves you - trust me on that - and he finds you attractive. Obviously porn is not taking that away but enhancing it. That is not a bad thing. When most of us get older and we've been married a loooong time, we sometimes rely on porn to spice things up and help us get in the mood - now, that's not taking away from our partners, is it? To be fair to you too, I do think it a bit unfair of him to get up out of bed after having sex with you so that he can go and watch porn. He may very well have an addiction.

Whatever you do with this situation, you have to do it gently and firmly and most especially be fair and LISTEN to each other. I cannot stress the word LISTEN enough. You have to really listen to what the other is saying without adding your own perceptions to that. Stop thinking and just listen, then work through this together maturely. As you are already experiencing, fighting continually and henpecking him about this is only going to break down your relationship and destroy that wonderful sex life. You might want to suggest that he bring his love for porn out into the open and even put your own shyness aside, pop a porno into the machine and watch it with him. Take the initiative and see if things improve. Maybe if he no longer has to hide it from you he'll stop obsessing about it.

Just be fair to him too and remember, this is somebody you love, who chooses to love you and be with you, you do not own him, so being possessive is not going to strengthen what you have, it will break it down.

Take is easy now and let me assure you that almost all couples have faced this issue at some point in their relationship. It's nothing yet to freak out about, but rather a growing and learning experience. If you play this right, then hopefully things will be ok. :)

AND PLEASE STOP GOING THROUGH HIS STUFF NOW, HE'S NOT A CHILD AND YOU ARE NOT A DETECTIVE. HE HAS A RIGHT TO PRIVACY AS MUCH AS YOU DO, SO PLEASE RESPECT HIS RIGHTS AS YOU WOULD HAVE HIM RESPECT YOURS.

SHEESH! Sorry that was so long and drawn out, didn't know who else to express it all.

I can't see the rest of the story because for some reason IIN isn't showing them on my side. Ok, first of all, it's normal for guys (and even some girls) to look at porn. If you are disgusted by it, then it's possible you may have some issues regarding sex and nakedness - I don't think it's normal to have such a strong feeling about something unless you have an issue with it. Otherwise, you'd merely not like it and not watch it.

Secondly, you shouldn't be snooping in your boyfriends stuff, that is wrong and you are breaking his trust! Just because he passworded his computer, doesn't mean that he's hiding something. We all have passwords on our pc's in our house. They are personal computers after all! Then again, he could be hiding his porn addiction from you because he knows how you feel about it.

On one hand, I understand how you are feeling; lied to, cheated on, insecure because of what you found. His motives could be questionable, most especially since he has taken pics of your friends and seems like a bit of a stalker. There could be trouble brewing as your boyfriend could in fact have an unhealthy addiction on the go, and YES that is a problem. Most people watch porn as a recreational thing, or to spice up their love life, they are not doing it all the time as you have described.

You have put yourself in an awkward position because you have a secret, that is being you are a snoop and obviously you are feeling bad about it. If I were you, I would come out about it and confront him. Admit that you cracked his ps and looked at his stuff, then tackle the issue of his addiction. This is not going to be easy though because he will definately feel as betrayed as you do. The best way to deal with a situation like this is from a mature perspective instead of getting involved in a shouting match where accusations are flung back and forth; you will get nowhere very fast and that will probably result in one of you walking out the door.

I would just like to add my personal experience with the same things. (I'll admit I've been around a while - 37 - and had probably the entire spectrum of relationship problems and learned how to deal with them)

Being in a relationship from the teens to adulthood is usually a passing phase - with few exceptions, and you'll probably grow out of each other anyway. I don't mean to be the voice of doom and gloom, but have witnessed this time and again with friends, family members and been through it myself. If you're going to live with someone, you have to trust them and when you see evidence of a problem, tackle it honestly and maturely, don't leave it on slow boil. Unless you have a strong suspicion that they are cheating on you, I wouldn't recommend that you go routinely snooping in their phone, pc etc, because that too can become an unhealthy addiction - been there too. Unfortunately for you, what you have found definately seems troubling and now you are tasked with having to deal with it, b

if my boy ever watched porn i would slap him so hard his eyes would fall out

Most all guys look at porn, that is different, I don't think you need to ask, you know what you should do.

To look every once in a while is normal. To pay for sites is a problem.

I guess for them it's normal, but I have to agree with you. It's upsetting for your partner to have such a habit. Actually, I think he may have a problem. How you described it, I think he needs some kind of closure. I also wonder, would it be the same thing to have a person naked in front of him. That would anger you and you'd break up with him, right? But I think it's just the same, if not worse. I don't know. These are just my views.

I didn't mention any of my findings to my boyfriend right away. I just didn't want to fight and I didn't want him mad at me for going onto his computer. Well the day before valentines day he planned out this whole night for us. We made homemade pizza together, had some drinks, and ended up watching one of my favorite movies 'ps i love you'. It was an amazing night. Well, we ended up having sex that night and he said that he needed to go finish unpacking some of his things and get some of my valentines day presents ready, so he tucked me into bed (which I thought was really sweet) and he left to go into his room. Well about 15 minutes of laying down I heard something outside the window and it kind of freaked me out so I went into his room and he was sitting at the computer with headphones in and when he saw me walk in he immediatly turned off the screen so i couldn't see what it was. I was like 'umm what are you doing, this isn't cleaning' and he said 'what i'm working on your present' and i said i dont beleive you turn on the screen and he said no. when i reached to turn on the screen he turned the computer completely off. I was livid because when I walked in I saw a girl on the screen but he said it was on the edge of the screen and its just what a lot of websites have on the side of the screen advertising stuff. I was SO mad, but decided to believe him and I made him go to bed with me.

The very next day was valentines day and I had to get on his comptuer to download one of my school assignments and he was in the room with me. And before I got online he's like wait, turn around I have a valentines day present and you can't see it. And I knew exactly what he was doing, clearing his history. I was SO livid! I ended up telling him everything I knew and called him all sorts of names because I just let all the anger bottled up inside of me. He assured me that I'm attractive and there was no excuse for all of the things he had on the computer, its just something he liked to do or whatever. We ended up making up and having a good night.

Well just this monday I went to school and he was home alone. I came back early from class and he was cleaning up the house and acting like the perfect boyfriend. When he went to work on tuesday I went on the computer and saw that while I was at school he had visited a lot of porn sites, something we just had a discussion about. I was so upset and still am because now I feel like i'm not enough for him.

We have always had an amazing sex life. We have done some of the craziest thing and continue to have fun with it. However, this past week I feel like he hasn't wanted to have sex with me at all. I pretty much have to force him to. He has never been the type to say no to me. And I dont know if he doesn't want to because of how crazy i've been acting about this whole porn situation or becuase he is honestly not attracted to me anymore. I wrote him this long letter explaining how bad he makes me feel and how I fe

First of all, this isn't just a "guy" thing. Many women are into porn, and like solo masturbation time even when they have a happy and healthy relationship with their lover.

Your boyfriends interest in porn and masturbation has nothing to do with you. Masturbation is a way that people pamper themselves.People who enjoy masturbation AND a healthy relationship aren't people that need to be worried about. Thinking that you are less because a man looks at porn is like a man thinking he is less because you watch romantic movies or books.

What is of much greater cause for concern is your reaction to his personal time, his personal boundaries, and the fact that he even feels that he needs to keep this part of his life hidden from you.

The fact that he hides it is probably only partly due to you. There are many legitimate reasons why people hide their masturbatory habits even if/when they know that their lover has "accepted" masturbation.

Society admits that masturbation is normal, especially for men, but it still frowns upon making it a casual topic to discuss with ones gender peers, let alone opposites. This doesn't allow people to ever really be "comfortable" talking with their mates, it doesn't prepare them for that level of honesty - in fact it scares them away from it.

Speaking on scary, admitting ones fantasies or why one is fantasizing about something/someone to their lover is not easy. We naturally seek to protect our lovers: we don't want to hurt or offend them... we don't want them to be ashamed of us.

Instead of sneaking and snooping, you should have laid the groundwork for getting him to open up to you. Had you taken a slower, less paranoid approach, you probably would not have been surprised by what you discovered, and been less likely to have responded the way you did.

By deleting his materials you not only left evidence that you don't trust him and don't respect his privacy... you went way beyond just breaking trust. By deleting his materials you showed him that when you are scared or displeased you will seek to control him, rather than controlling yourself. You showed him that you were ashamed of him, that you do not respect him at all.

Porn and masturbation are not nearly as destructive to the heart of a relationship as what you did after you made your discovery. Not even close.

Question your reasons for why you did what you did. Question why you feel the way you do. Question whether or not you really trust and love this guy... and find a better way of communicating if you do.

It's normal. Snooping through his stuff is not. Having pics of your friends is a little weird... but you wouldn't know about that if you behaved yourself in his absence. I would feel hurt if my husband went snooping through my stuff while I'm away. It's called trust.

It has probably turned in to a addiction most people that look at that stuff have to get some sort of help

I like his style.

Correction I CHANGED MY MIND..

if you have been doing crazy things in bed and you are pretty enough too... and still he INSTISTS ON WATCHING PORN then he is ONE SICK LITTLE BOY!
His lust has gone beyond control. It's not normal to abandon your girl and go watch porn or even choose porn over your gf. You should really do something about that. Both of you. Find out whats wrong.
Maybe you ve been a little too crazy in bed and that has increased his feelings of lust to levels.. that no man should reach.

Too much and too ugly sex can kill both love and the relationship. That's just an opinion don't get too anxious about it.
I don't know girl but you gotta find out whats wrong. It's not normal not to be able to wait half a day for your gf to be back. Porn cant be as great as a real body. And the feeling of masturbation to that of having sex is just completely different. Can the one kill the other? Shit I dunno.
Maybe he is a sex(.."""sex""") addict or whatever

It's completely normal actually. Sorry, all men need to satisfy their sexual desires to a degree women sometimes can't understand. A study confirmed that masturbation is perfectly normal even in marriage. Having photos of your friends is a little distasteful, but most guys would probably look at and revisit the photos without saving them anyway.

The problem is if he does it too often. If he's spending more than an hour or two at the very most thinking about porn or masturbation every day, then he might have an addiction.

Yeah. It's normal. I'm thirteen and I watch avid porn. Because of it I get to have sex with my 17 y.o cousin and 9 of her friends almost everynight. I even worse than your boyfriends. I put an extra long password for my computer account because inside are my videos of me and my cousin and her friends having sex. And pornsites. I watch them everyday. Everytime I watch it , I cum before I even start to masturbate or sex. Because expose vagina and big boobs Really turn me on. In fact I learn from it. I learn new positions and new toys that can be bought. I learn to masturbate secretly during classes. And I have 18 school sex partners because of porn. So I say it is perfectly normal for guys to do that

Hell yeah it's normal.
If a man is normal he will want to bang anything and everything he finds attractive. He shouldn't be banging anyone else, however, if he has a GF, so porn is the next best thing.

Remember that him having a DVD box set of ANAL ANGELS 7: THE ASSES REVENGE is better than him making his own porn tapes with the girls he's cheating on you with.

Oh yeah and he probably wishes you were much sluttier in bed. We like sluts. A lot.

its normal, and i think he knew you would get upset with him being normal thats why he hided it.

Jeeze, maybe it's time for you to get more sexual, He is looking to other sources for his sexual release, Sex can be healthy it relieves stress and anxiety. And burns some calories, basically whatever your lacking in the bedroom he outsources with pornography.

Hey - I am a guy too and I wouldn't let my gf read my e-mail and I dont expect to get to read hers.

Idk bout u guys but I watch porn almost every damn day

The guy is totally normal. He's a horn dog. Like EVERY guy in this world. You probably don't need to worry about excessive porn. That being said he's sort of breaking a code of loyalty when he looks at other women you and he know personally. If I was in your position this might bother me.

All things considered I personally don't see this as the big problem that some may see it as. I also think that it's the way you've been lately (or somthing along these lines) that made him have less of a libido. Just let him be about the porn. I'd be concentrateing on his attention to you women you know.

ok first i am going to say this is a bunch of b.s and porn wacthing we all do i am a female and i love to watch it with my husband you can learn alot from it lol i think we all get things from it if it's with are selves or are mate we all enjoy it deep inside some wont let that be known cause porn is oh so wrong but i bet if you asked your older family they would tell you the same it's all a mental thing you either do or you don't lol

alot of guys do it cuzz thay like 2 masterbat 2tham .wan ur gone cuzz well ur not there n thay like have 2 fuck somethan everday so ya its totaly nomal

My girlfriend knows I look at porn, but she says she'd rather I do that then do something behind her back with real girls. If you shut down, his "outlet" he may do something you REALLY don't want him to do. Since your sex life is good it proves he is totally into you. So, then the question is can you just be secure enough to accept his habit and love him for who he is? You will drive him away for sure if you don't.

He's lucky you haven't went through with deleting the relationship. It's normal for guys to look at porn but it sounds like he's getting way too carried away.

Saving pics of your friends in bikinis is creepy as fuck and a sign of future cheating. I would confront him about that and possibly dump him. I think if you have to explain why that's disturbing, he's not going to get it.

The porn thing is normal, though. I really don't get why women make such a big deal about it. If it's a problem, find an ultra-pious Christian pastor-type. Everyone else has decided it's okay.

Maybe hes horny when you are not around. Can you really blame him? If someone is getting done on regular bases and suddenly is not getting any of course they are going to be horny when your gone.

I clicked normal by mistake but I don't think it's normal at all!! I'd kick my partners ass out of my life I that happened to.me. Seeing porn of people you've known and still talk.to.is really.disgusting!! The guy.is.a.Pervert!

I've just read your post and i really am not sure what to say.. im 17 and my partners 27 and I've recently just found out he is divorced and also watches and downloads alot of porn . i myself am not a fan so when i found out i was/ still am disgusted more so by the fact that he hides it from me and denyes it rather than the fact that he does it . i don't know what to do about it but if i was in your situation i would leave him..

I had the same problem..my bf would always erase the history but one time i saw saw the history on something else and there it was. I was so fucking disgusted. Before I had found out for some reason I tried to think that he didn't watch it but he did. I Dont even know if he jacked off to it or not because if he did that would bother me even more. I guess he would watch it online everytime i left the house. I felt so stupid not knowing..especially having sex with him after he would watch that shit. he doesn't watch it now though muahahaah. we record ourselves sometimes(:

a lot of my friends do porn but they dont when their in a relationship ive heard of couples watching porn together though but savin pics of your friends is pretty weird

This is of particular interest to me, that is why I am very curious to hear what happened with you Emma. And grats to Reaper for her VERY wise, balanced advice. People are so divided on this issue, I've come to a thousand different conclusions, good and bad. You probably are hot and great in bed Emma, but that's not the issue. You are variety to an EXTENT. You can never be EVERYTHING to anyone and sensible people tend to choose people who have the qualities they MOST want, at least at that time. He would think of you on a totally different level to the women in porn.
Anyone who says it's acceptable for him to have pics of your friends, or any REAL LIFE person either of you know, is fucking weird. THAT is NOT NORMAL. It's one thing for a guy to tell you he'd go a threesome with your best friend, but searching and storing pics like that for ANY reason is a whole other ballpark. I would ask him about that and probably leave him for that alone.
He's so willing to deceive you for his interest in porn, he clearly has an addiction. He may have some performance issues, attachment issues, mental health issues, anything. You can hint at these things but people have to be willing to face themselves. I really feel for you. If he couldn't help himself (in both respects!) I hope you have long left this relationship by now. He wasn't treating you well, lying about working on your present while he was using porn. I'd like to slaughter this guy. Revenge ideas anyone??

1. Primitive male biological urges

2. If only both sexes could be equal on this one

3. What is happening with you Emma OP?

Most guys watch porn, yeah. However, the extent to which this guy does it seem excessive. It sounds like every time you're out the room hes on it, practically. And saving years worth of pics off facebook is just plain weird. I can't honestly offer you any advice because if he's that into it, I really doubt he'll stop. Maybe you could start watching gay porn of two men doing it or something and save loads of pics of guys you think is hot on your computer, see how he likes it.

I love porn, me and my boyfriend even watch porn together BUT if my boyfriend would save pictures of my friends, his friends or our friends wearing a BIKINI or something like that IS A BIG NO NO! I would ask him to stop it BUT if he wouldn't I'd leave him. I think you should let him watch porn, even though you don't like it but you've got to respect that he does. And if you are going to be going on his computer checking on it, ask him to delete "history" whenever he is done watching porn. Or watch it with him. I'm sure there's probably something that the both of you like watching. Good luck!

I am sorry, I should also add that it does seem that your boyfriend has an addiction and seems excessive. It is strange that he did not stop, even in this short timespan. It might be good for him to see a therapist if this really is an addiction. His behaviour, I would say, is normal if it was in moderation. Simply because it seems he is doing it many hours a day makes it a problem. I wish you the best of luck. Remember, communication is vital.

The porn is normal... Not the lying or any of the sleezyness though

sex addiction....the question here is do you want to be with someone who is "addicted" to anything for that matter? Anyone who is addicted to something whether it be sex, alcohol, or drugs obviously has self control issues which may be accompanied with lots of other deeper issues. They need serious help.

Maybe he has a sex addiction. My bf has one and he told me with his ex they used to have sex 5 times a week 3 times a day for an hour each time and he still wacked it and looked at porn. Thats crazy to have sex that much so dont feel like ur not enough for him, let him look at porn.

It's normal for a guy to check out porn sites, but it sounds like he had a LOT of porn. And perving over pictures of your friends is way out of line - pictures of strangers won't mean anything to him, but people in your circle are different. I know lots of guys are like that, but I'd dump him for someone better. Seriously. Maybe my standards are too high, but my ex-boyfriend watched too much porn and it was one of the things I really didn't like about him. I completely understand your reaction. My current boyfriend has admitted to looking at porn sometimes, but I know he doesn't do it nearly as much as the last one.

um i not writing something long ok

Ok, this boyfriend of yours, is a wuss. It is clear he has a much stronger sex drive than you, and because he is such a wuss to get sex from you, he looks at internet porn. The guy was your friend at first, I honestly think it is normal to have the feeling that he needs to hide his internet sexual activities from you. Again, total wuss.

One strategy I think would work is telling him that you want HIM to make his wussy moves on you to have sex whenever he feels the "urge" to look at online pornograph. Now, this is not 100% sure fireway to work. But what you want him to know, is that you CRAVE sex from HIM.

Now here comes the hard part. If he hasn't minimized his online behaviour through a long period of time, say 6 months. Then he has an addiction, of witch case you really need to get some help for him. Because he won't admit he has a problem. Of course, if you love him as much.

Here's the rest of my story since it wasn't showing up. As you see, I did end up telling him about me finding out everything... and thanks so much for the adivce. it is scary and we are still fighting about it. i dont know what to do:

I didn't mention any of my findings to my boyfriend right away. I just didn't want to fight and I didn't want him mad at me for going onto his computer. Well the day before valentines day he planned out this whole night for us. We made homemade pizza together, had some drinks, and ended up watching one of my favorite movies 'ps i love you'. It was an amazing night. Well, we ended up having sex that night and he said that he needed to go finish unpacking some of his things and get some of my valentines day presents ready, so he tucked me into bed (which I thought was really sweet) and he left to go into his room. Well about 15 minutes of laying down I heard something outside the window and it kind of freaked me out so I went into his room and he was sitting at the computer with headphones in and when he saw me walk in he immediatly turned off the screen so i couldn't see what it was. I was like 'umm what are you doing, this isn't cleaning' and he said 'what i'm working on your present' and i said i dont beleive you turn on the screen and he said no. when i reached to turn on the screen he turned the computer completely off. I was livid because when I walked in I saw a girl on the screen but he said it was on the edge of the screen and its just what a lot of websites have on the side of the screen advertising stuff. I was SO mad, but decided to believe him and I made him go to bed with me.

The very next day was valentines day and I had to get on his comptuer to download one of my school assignments and he was in the room with me. And before I got online he's like wait, turn around I have a valentines day present and you can't see it. And I knew exactly what he was doing, clearing his history. I was SO livid! I ended up telling him everything I knew and called him all sorts of names because I just let all the anger bottled up inside of me. He assured me that I'm attractive and there was no excuse for all of the things he had on the computer, its just something he liked to do or whatever. We ended up making up and having a good night.

Well just this monday I went to school and he was home alone. I came back early from class and he was cleaning up the house and acting like the perfect boyfriend. When he went to work on tuesday I went on the computer and saw that while I was at school he had visited a lot of porn sites, something we just had a discussion about. I was so upset and still am because now I feel like i'm not enough for him.

We have always had an amazing sex life. We have done some of the craziest thing and continue to have fun with it. However, this past week I feel like he hasn't wanted to have sex with me at all. I pretty much have to force him to. He has never been the type to say no to

It's normal for a guy to watch porn, but that your boyfriend is so secretive about it and stashes things away on his computer is very compulsive. I would be REALLY upset if I found out that my boyfriend was saving pics of girls he knows in bikinis on his computer. It's one thing when it's a porn star and he doesn't even consider her a person, but when it's someone he knows or someone you know, that's completely different. Unfortunately, I don't think there is a lot you can do to change this aspect of your boyfriend's behavior. It's a compulsion. You can threaten him him all you want but it most likely won't change his desire to do these things, and if anything he'll just get more secretive about it. Talk to him seriously, though, and tell him why this bothers you. Apologize for snooping (because you were wrong in doing so, although I would have been suspicious if I were you too).

This probably means your not satisfying him in bed. I would talk to him about it and find out.
;)

its normal you stupid bitch

It's normal for men and women to watch porn, not normal to keep pics of friends looking skimpy. Unless you were swingers...

I think a lot of the important things have already been said but I wanted to emphasise a point. It is normal for your bf to masturbate to pictures of his, yours, or mutual friends. Just because he is fantasizing about other people does not mean he doesn't love you. Sometimes people just need sexual variety through porn and he can get that by looking at friends. You've probably heard that when guys see a hot girl, he might imagine her naked. This still happens when he is in a relationship, and is no different than what your boyfriend is doing. You should have another talk with him specifically about this so that you can get your feelings out but I wouldn't expect him to stop. It is no inadequacy with you, it's just sexual curiosity. I am a 21 year old male.

Get rid of the computer. Trash it or give it away.

I suggest you think about this guy, it's one thing to look at porn but he definetly is not normal....he has a problem and it will lead to cheating!!!

I think it's normal. He is just looking at it so that he won't cheat on you that's what my friend told my.If he is then I would be happy to date you wait your a girl right I have been fooled before sorry I like guys

its normal for guys to watch porn my boyfriend he use to watch porn while i was in the room witch is sick. it makes me mad to but u have to deal with it.

I would say him saving the pictures on his computer is a little weird. But as for him looking at porn isn't a bad thing. Unless heperfers that over sex. I am a girl in a 6 year relationship I enjoy to look at porn.(there is many different kinds so I don't enjoy ALL porn) but I am very comfortable with my sexuality. O find it sexy and I do get some pointers on how to please a guy. So you shouldn't be worried. :))