My daughter is treating me very badly, help please

Listen, I have no idea what being a parent is like but I do know what it's like to have conflict with mine.

First off, there's only so much you can do. Its not your fault if shes wayward or rude and you can't expect your family relations to be perfect. I would guess almost all family's have some kinda disputes like this.

As far as what to do, my suggestion would be a good old fashioned one on one conversation. When my family and extended family have had issues similar to this that tends to work the best, although of course it's not fool proof.

What I would do is make sure she knows full well how she is making you feel. But don't guilt trip her by making it seem like it's her INTENTION to do that, even if you think she is doing it on purpose.

So I would say something along the lines of "I know your not trying to and it seems insignificant to you, but the things you've said/done have really affected me in XYZ negative way... "

If she feels like your accusing her of doing it on purpose the conflict will likely escalate.

Just want to wish you a happy birthday and I apologize about the family. My family is pretty chaotic as well. I hope everything works out for you and I wish you well

Whenever you're emotionally upset or depressed, she gets angry or distances herself. It sounds like you're the one starting the problem, and blaming your daughter.

Me and my mother go through the same thing. My mom has health problems and I have HAD to distance myself from her before for my own sake. I dont know your situation good but i can tell you from mine she was always worried what i was doing. I was on drugs bad. She always argued with me and put me down. She told me to kill myself. I tried. She called police. She told them i was at my house going to kill myself. Cops pulled up caught me in the attempt. Went to a mental hospital had to stay for 2 weeks. I didnt talk to mom for months, I was already a mess and talking to her would put me over the edge. And things got way better when i stopped talking to her. Sometimes you have to remove the toxicity from your life for your own sake. You might be able to benefit also from withdrawaling from her a little. Seems like yall have a toxic relationship sometimes like me and my mom.

As far as the $25 for internet if she has enough money and you dont it is the daughterly thing for her take care of that for her retired mother. But just because you're right in that situation and she's wrong you have to let that go for your own sanity. You can prove to her you're right for your own ego or you can let it go for your own piece of mind. And remember being emotional doesn't give you the right to be mean to her. You cant always make people do what you want them to do. My mom always wants me to do something.

She must not do emotions well.
But try to sit her down, and talk to her.
It's family.

So what do I do with my anger and the fact that I'm waking up every morning crying and then having an angina attack?

Don't express anger towards her, express sadness. Tell her you love her and that it hurts you when she is mean to you. I wouldn't think she would want to cause you harm like this.

What a shit position to be in. You need a vacation.

It's hard to understand people's behavior - we never know why they do what they do, but surely there is some inner reason they probably don't undestand either or even see clearly. With my mom (we're similar ages to yours) something like that used to happen but the other way around. Throughout my life she's been tougher on me when I was in a bad place and more giving when I was succeeding. For instance, when I was broke she'd be very stingy and when I was financially stable she'd shower me with expensive presents. When I was depressed she'd passive-aggressively treat me unkindly. Go figure.

I'm thinking they can't handle their loved ones being in a difficult situation and are unable to respond supportively and accordingly because of their own issues with others' fragility or what they might see as weaknesses. At one point, I just stopped sharing those things with her and not caring. Our relationship is relatively good although it's changed over the years.

I have no idea if what I'm saying is helpful in any way to you but it's what came to mind while reading your post.

Either distance yourself from her, or give her some meds(risperidone calms down aggressive behavior).