My girlfriend has a video of herself having sex with an ex-boyfriend

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20 Comments

So I've been with this new girl for just over a month now. Everything about her seems really cool and I'm loving my time with her. We were watching Black Mirror today, the episode where people's entire memory is recorded and they can watch everything back. I had a conversation with her and eventually it came down to that she has a video somewhere of her having sex with another dude. Now ofcourse I can understand that people make these kinds of videos, but the question that keeps arising in my mind is "why does she still have it?". If I had a video of me having sex with a girl I would have definitely deleted it by the time I felt there was some kind of relationship sparking up here. But maybe she just hasn't bothered or taken the time to look for it and delete it because she hasn't seen it in a long time. Not sure why I'm even asking this here but I guess I'm just looking for opinions on this and whether you guys think this is completely normal or if it is a bit weird. She is pretty much the perfect girl for me so I trust her 100% and I don't think there's any bad intentions here or that she secretly watches that video or something. It just surprised me to hear that and I wonder what you guys think about it and what your experiences are regarding a situation like this.

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Based on 10 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • ChrissySnow
    2 years ago

    Why is it ok for guys to have pictures and videos of all of their ex's but not ok for us to keep any reminders? Look... It's complicated but I get her. I get that you SAY you'd delete a video once you break up, and were all supposed to say that, but we all know that is a hard thing to do. I hope all my exes still have their private stuff of me because it makes me feel more desired to be fondly remembered if in my mind they still have our mementos. I still have some stuff of my exes and I wish I had more of them (clothes and stuff) to turn to when I miss them.

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    • Justalilcurious
      2 years ago

      I agree it’s not wrong to keep stuff from x’s

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    • Keepitsimple
      2 years ago

      I didn't say it's okay for guys to have pictures or videos of their exes. I certainly don't have any. Nor do I ever miss my exes. And I also don't feel the need to be "desired" or "fondly remembered by them. To me an ex is an ex, the past is the past, and I have no desire whatsoever to hold on to that past as I am living in this moment and just want to make the best of it. I guess everyone deals with their past in their own way.

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  • DADNSCAL
    2 years ago

    It was pretty disrespectful to you to even let you know she had it. And I agree that it’s a bad sign for your relationship that she kept it.

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    • Keepitsimple
      2 years ago

      Honestly though, I felt the opposite when it came to her telling me about it. I just wondered why she still has it, but after thinking about it for a while I actually respect the fact that she tells me this sort of stuff instead of keeping secrets from me. I think relationships are all about communication and honesty, so in that sense I'm happy that she told me and I'd personally say that's a more respectful thing to do than keeping it a secret.

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        I agree

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Idk maybe she just wants to keep it. I had a folder on my old computer with abunch of videos I took with different girls and a girlfriend of mine found it and deleted it I was pretty pissed off

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    • Keepitsimple
      2 years ago

      What was the reason you kept those videos and felt an attachment to them to the point where it pissed you off when your girlfriend at the time deleted them?

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        What pissed me off is that she did it without asking me. I was honest with her and told her about them she acted like it wasnt a big deal. When I woke up the next day they had been deleted. Had she have asked me to delete them I may have but she should have asked.

        As far as why I kept them I wanted to keep them as a trophy I guess idk. It sounds really shallow but I'm just being honest with you.

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  • Lusty-Argonian
    2 years ago

    I'd probably keep it. Heck I still have things my exes gave me. Shoot I still sleep with a stuffy my ex gave Mr every night. It's no longer about him I just enjoy sleeping woth it and when I start dating again I have no intention of getting rid of it

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    • Keepitsimple
      2 years ago

      But a stuffy is something very different from a sex tape

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      • Lusty-Argonian
        2 years ago

        Obviously I'm talking in general of keeping things associated with said ex

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  • randypete
    2 years ago

    do you wank watching it?

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  • GaelicPotato
    2 years ago

    I keep lewd content from all my exes, including which we made together.

    I think it's fine.

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    I disagree with many. She is free to keep whatever videos she wants. There may be reasons outside of sex that she keeps that video.

    Just because she has an old video does not imply anything specific about your current relationship.

    You might learn something (if you are willing to actually learn about her) if you ask her about it.... Just don't imply that she should not have it.

    People have all kinds of pictures and videos that they keep[ and many of them would be considered pornographic by some other people. It's totally their right to have those for personal reasons as long as no laws were broken when making them.

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  • allialli
    2 years ago

    she shouldn’t have it. they’re not dating anymore AND she’s in a new relationship so she has no right to his body, and vice versa. the top comment calls this a “fond memory”, but its really not. she can have memory of her exes and still have old pictures or mementos, but continuing to carry videos of sex with them is a serious red flag. if you’re okay with it, whatever. but if you’re not okay with it then don’t even bother asking for this websites opinion on it; you have a right to your feelings and you can set any boundaries that make you comfortable.

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  • Curiouskitten444
    2 years ago

    Not a great sign that shes kept it. I had kept a sex tape i made with my ex four years ago and had not deleted it until 4 months ago when i started exploring a new relationship. I held onto the video to look back at the good times with my ex but once starting a new relationship there was no reason to keep it anymore. Thats just me though.

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  • Justalilcurious
    2 years ago

    Maybe you should talk her into making a sex video with you. I don’t think it’s weird tho

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    • Keepitsimple
      2 years ago

      She would do that 100%, but I don't see the point in even doing that. Why would I want or need a video of us having sex when I can just have sex with her whenever I want?

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        When you get older its nice to look back on honestly. Especially if yall stay together.

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