My hamster tickles me down there...

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25 Comments

When i was in 3rd grade, my pops bought me a hamster, i named it captain tickles and we did everything together,he used to sleep with me and crawl all over my body. I had him for a number of years and up into 7th grade when i hit puberty. One night when he was scampering up and down my sensitive torso and went lower and began to sneak my genitalia. At this point i thought it would better to remove him but it felt strangely alright, so i let him continue until he began to sneak faster and i would ejaculate in my trousers, i have been doing this ritual every night for 5 years straight now and he has just recently pasted on, i don't know how to be normal without my captain tickles, somebody help? Is it normal?

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 242 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • abbeyroad
    13 years ago | pl

    The average life span of a hamster is about two years. So for your hamster have been four years before you darted doing this....and then to have done it every night for five years straight....would have meant your hamster was 9 when is died. Ben if it had lived an exceptionally long life....there's no way it would have made it to nine.

    Also, a hamster would not sleep with you. They are not cats and dogs...they run up to 30 miles a night.

    I am a hamster breeder and you are a liar.

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    • AnimalsLoveMe
      13 years ago | pl

      Is that a real job? Because I'm a professional pirate combat specialist

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    • frankiestrange
      11 years ago

      If only there was the option to favourite comments like you can favourite stories/posts.

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  • dappled
    13 years ago

    I'm more disturbed that you said "pasted on" as in "glued on" whilst talking about your ejaculate. I envisaged a dead hamster glued to your groin by your dried-up "man juice".

    Luckily, you're quite patently a liar so I can happily disregard anything you say. If you really want to lie to people (yay you!), then at least do it better.

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    • AnimalsLoveMe
      13 years ago

      It's obviously a lie, hooray guys, you cracked the code!

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  • Shrunk
    13 years ago | pl

    well i used to put a gerbil in my pants for fun but not that kind of fun o.o it was like a game me n my sister would play to see how long we could keep him in there because its so tickley it makes u laugh so hard, idk about jizzing but maybe try rubbing urself down there nowadays? poor hamster got ''pasted on''...

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  • JessieLou89
    13 years ago

    What a complete idiot you are.

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  • someonecool
    13 years ago

    this is hot.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    If you want to post a fake story, be believable about it, hamsters don't sit still nor do they live that long.

    If I'd let any of my hamsters "sit" on me, they'd have scampered off before I could even move...

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  • I_am_not_normal
    13 years ago

    ^ all of the above

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    How on earth did this fucking stupid story make it on IIN? Anyone else think we should have a report story button?

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  • TheConsciousElectron
    13 years ago

    Get a girlfriend to do it for you

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  • Heh?
    13 years ago

    You should have kept his corpse. You will never be whole without it--without its meat.

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  • Sweetcat
    13 years ago

    Agree with dannykanes.

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  • cremeegg
    13 years ago

    get another hamster...

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  • abbeyroad
    13 years ago

    No you moron. It's not a job. It's just something I do.

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  • poopporn123
    13 years ago

    Dude thats so fucking gross, thats not normal? you need help

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    • AnimalsLoveMe
      13 years ago

      fuck you! this site is about posting your problems and getting help:(

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  • texas1
    13 years ago

    haha obviously its a lie people. Learn to take a joke...

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  • DwayneHicks
    13 years ago

    Awkward......................

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  • [Old Memory]
    7 years ago

    No its not

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  • dj00712
    11 years ago

    well seeing as a hamster only lives 2-3 years im guessing this is a troll

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  • Narutofan
    12 years ago

    Sounds like the hamster should have been put back in it's cage before bedtime.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Look up the song fack by eminem!!!

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  • tori
    13 years ago

    Everyone already said what I wanted to say.

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