My husband likes porn !!

Oh man. If it hurts you he needs to stop. Men like to deny it, but fantasizing leads to increased probability of heating. I just went through this with my husband. He said he loves me and agrees that porn hurts women and destroys intimacy. Book: pornland by Gail dines.

My partner of 14 years left me emotionally and sexually for porn. I am a beautiful and sexy woman, who unknowingly lost out to trashy young digital whores. I was always willing and able to do almost whatever, whenever, wherever. I was fun, experimental, and easy to please. I just would not do any backdoor action. I found out on my birthday two years ago, while I was waiting in the bedroom, in my sexy new red lingerie and heels, that he was on the computer for his nightly go-round.
After two years of therapy, his supposed ceasing of "activities" we have "screwed" 8 times. I would defiantly not called it making love, as I am convinced that he no longer remembers how to do that. I pretend to enjoy it, but without any intimacy it is just not Love.
That what I have to impart to all the men who watch porn. Porn kills your sense of love, affection and intimacy for the human person, the woman you are making love to. Porn kills the reason, you have chosen that woman as your partner, instead she becomes just a hole for you to use and deposit goo into.
And believe me, without that intimacy, no matter how strong her love is for you, you Will kill that love.

Porn is not wholesome and does not add to the betterment of the person. I found that my husband was watching porn and I was very shocked and hurt. He was so sad to have hurt me and promised to stop. I literally felt that I'd been cheated on. I asked him to promise that when he felt that he needed a release that he say "I need you" so that I could provide it for him. We have waaaay more and better sex now. He is happier because of the increased intimacy and so am I. I also have more inspiration to keep my body (which is pretty banging) up and make a real effort to look good for him. I also ask him for what I want more often ie petting kissing etc. I am not advocating competing with porn, by any means. I'm just saying that it takes effort on both parts to have a yummy marriage.
You are completely justified in not liking the porn and requesting that it not be in your home. Rather than being angry try to find a win win situation.

Oh man, referring to Noam Chomsky's opinion on porn as some sort of absolute truth..people never cease to amaze me.

Masturbating is a basic need and normal behavior, porn enhances masturbation, thats all. Unless it's some sort of illegal or very disturbing stuff I don't see what the problem is.

Do you really think your husband suddenly changed and lost his animal instincts when you married? Of course he looks at and thinks about other women in a sexual context, it's what men are genetically programmed to do.

I'm sure my girlfriend has sexual fantasies about other men all the time, it's just part of human nature.

Does that mean he doesn't love you or find you sexually attractive? Nope.

MEN??!!!??!!!I WATCH PORN TOO!!!!!!

The moment my husband decides to actively find another woman to arouse or please himself sexually is the moment I do not care what caused him to do this or why he thinks it is ok to do this.

He already knows how I feel if he were to do this.

And if he does this, I will not put up with him causing me to feel unwanted on purpose after he claims to care about me.

When we care about others, we do not go out of our way to cause them to feel unwanted or undesired, especially by desiring another to do something that you both agreed only each other would do for each other.

No, if he does this, I will leave and be happy alone, while seriously considering taking him to court for alimony, as he decided to go out of his way to degrade, disrespect and hurt me after vowing to not do this.

I do not need a man who desires other women to arouse him when I can arouse him.

I do not need a man who desires other women to sexually please him when I can sexually please him.

I do not need a husband that promised to love, cherish and honor me over all others if he wants another woman to arouse and sexually please him.

He may have those other women he is so eager to be aroused by and be sexually pleased by instead of me arousing him and sexually pleasing him.

He already decided he wanted me and no one else to arouse him and sexually please him the day we married one another.

I will not be waiting for him to decide he now wants me to arouse him and sexually please him after he is done with those other women.

I will be gone.

Every guy likes porn, it doesn't mean he will cheat on you. Anymore than it means that everyone who plays grand theft auto are going to become some sort of crime lord, and kill an ambulance drive with a rocket launcher on a jet pack. Why do guys watch porn, well it makes solo time more enjoyable. Why do guys like solo time, because we have higher libidos than women. If he was going to cheat on you, well then he would do that, not watch DVDs. Every guy, instinctually wants to be with more than one woman, any guy who says otherwise is a liar.

When we love someone, we fight instinct, because they mean that much to us, because hurting or losing them is worse than any pleasure an affair can provide. In short, it just means, like every other guy he likes porn, but he still loves you.

Check out what he's watching. Then you'll have an idea what he's not getting from you. Or what he'd like to do with yo.

Why do women have such narrow minds and think they married a pervert or something. My wife would blow a fuse if she caught me look ing at porn. She knows I masturbate and thinks that's totally wired. Yet she only wants sex once a week

I found a teen porn movie in my partner of 14 years drawer. He denied watching it or ever buying it. Later I checked the computer - he'd been looking at porn on that too. I had a problem with it because for months he did not want sex with me and rejected my advances so I felt he had replaced me with teen sluts. We used to watch porn together. Then today I discovered that he had switched on the privacy mode on the computer to stop me from tracking his internet movements. But I found a way of recovering the internet files and yes, he had been looking at porn - only 2 hours after we had had sex!! I was mortified and hurt as we are going through a difficult financial time and sex is a big release for me. I feel cheated yet again and realise that I have never really trusted this man. He says he has been faithful to me for 14 years but I dont believe him. Monogamy is a struggle for him. If he lied about the porn then he is lying about other women I fear.

Porn is not cheating its just fantasy. It means nothing. I'm a girl and i watch it and so do my friends. I think its healthy and normal.

Heres my view on this issue. Well if your man is making you feel sad or whatever talk to him about! Be real thats yo man you should free as a bird to talk to him about anything! Thats your Husband and most friends marry their best friend am i right...be and honest about it. What do you have to lose...Don't beat around the bush either tell him straight up and how it is. Honestly i don't like that shit either. when i get a man he is mos def isn't going to be doing that. if he respects you and your feelings then he'd stop. You shouldn't be with a man who hurts you rather than pay attention to how you feel. I mean humans are sexual beings its normal to what to be crazy about sex. But porn is different.. it's a business of hors, sluts, man hores that get payed for doing stupid stuff. If your man is paying for this then thats just nasty its just as similar to a man going trip club to me. Now love making is different its a romanic connection between two ppl not three somes and all that other shit. Porn is just ppl being nasty and putting stuff in their mouth and putting stuff where they shouldn't be and all kinds of other graphic crap from as low to being sexually active with animals. i also think that men who watch porn are homo! why? because they are looking at another mans d-i-cee-k. i mean if a straight man had some random fool come up to him and pull out his d-i-cee-k then there would be a serious problem right? but they can sit at home and watch it on tv n stuff...i don't get it...so weird...but anyways girl just tell your man whats up ya know. and honestly he is looking at other women just cause their in magazines doesn't mean their not real so ya. it might suggest that he lost interest in you and he might have the capability to cheat on you since your not like the girls in the magazines well to me it seems. i mean he obviously shows interest at looking at sluts and hos so does that mean he only dates them too. that doens't seem like you...you seem compassionate and just want respect and love. Your a lover lol its complicated! Some men just to grow some nuts and make REAL L-O-V-E to their women that they love and care about without doing this sketchy shit like looking at slutty hos in the mags and videos. I could understand if it was a single man i guess but when your with someone it should be out the window. Some women don't mind which i find weird but whatever. Every woman needs to know that if her needs aren't being met then he's not the one. Why be sercetly unhappy when you can have someone whos gonna give you 200%% of their loyality to you. No real man would want to hurt you. I hope things change for you. if he can't do that one lil thing for you then what else is this man capable of. kinda scary but GOOD LUCK to you.

What if it's not a deficiency on the woman's part? What if she has a higher sex drive than he does? What if he's just a jerK?

so you're asking is it normal? first off, define what normal means to you. everyones definition of normality in every situation will be different. take, for example, some couples watch porn together, because it's what they like to do. It works in their relationship. Other women would never imagine doing that. Guys, on the other hand, are quick to say that yes, watching porn is normal. But is it normal when you are married, and you'd rather have sex (masturbate) to something, instead of with someone?
So the question you need to ask yourself is -- Does his porn watching activity affect your sex life? If the answer is yes, then find a solution.
In my particular situation, my husband is a porn addict. The problems we faced were that I would try to get intimate with him he would tell me he couldnt because he just relieved himself. When it starts to interfere with our sex life, I find that to be a problem. Additionally, instead of watching tv with me, he would go upstairs to do his routine. When I talked to him about it he would never deny it, however, afterwards, he would hide it on the computer. I guess he thought I did not know.
Our situation came down to me begging him to stop. Since it was interfering in our sex life, as husband and wife, this was a HUGE problem, and NOT normal. He says he has -- I can no longer find any history on our computer of it. Perhaps he has just found a way to be sneakier about it. But we still are having sex only once every two months. It's almost laughable -- I'm NOT stupid.
Counselors haven't been able to help, especially when only one person is willing to work at a problem. Unfortunately, in my situation, porn is NOT normal. It has destroyed my sex life with my husband as well as our happiness and trust. Divorce is on it's way.

Masturbation and sex are two different things.

Hope I helped, well, I know I did...

~Captain Obvious.

I like porn. But i am desperately trying to give it up. I believe in equality, and love for all people. I realised (after listening to Noam Chomsky - the World's foremost public intellectual and most quoted living author)that pornography degrades women as vulgar sex objects, and that is not what human beings are. My struggle to give up porn goes on. My greates fear is that i will channel my avarice into a darker method of sexual expression

He's a bad guy. Punish him. Sexually.

Ps- I think porn is wrong. Period. I don't care if the whole damn world is doing it. Its wrong. I kept trying to get over it but my husband watching porn caused me to start developing a bad self esteem and even the desire to look at other men in order to get even with him. Counseling!

He's just a normal guy, it's no reflection on you.

Men will like porn regardless of age. The only difference between your husband and other men is that your husband doesn't even bother to be discreet about it.

One thing you need to realise, men are hornier than women. That's a fact of life. So everytime you don't want it when he does want sex, he will have to find another outlet. Think about it... men cannot be expected to roll over and go back to sleep whenever they are denied sex by their wives. They will do whatever it takes to relieve this sexual tension.

I think he could respect your feelings more. I think that is what hurts you.

maybe you should be a slut in the beedroom and let him do what he is seeing on the videos

This is not to be mean by no means, you can either join him or do like many women do and make him hide it from you. These women who say they would leave or do this or that, all they are doing is making him hide it. Do some reading guys are visual creatures. It is nothing against you it is human nature. If you have a problem with it maybe you need to do some soul searching and see why its bothering you so much.

I think you have to separate porn behavior from ordinary sexual behavior with couples. They are too different.

man porn ain't cheating. Obviously if he even has to watch porn there is something that isn't being fulfilled on your part. It's not like he will cheat on you just because he likes to watch porn, he just needs to get his release.. may it be a daily release, or twice a week.. if you guys aren't having as much sex as before... he chooses this. It's a different story if he is the one who opts out of sex and decides to go to the other room and wack off... but if you are questioning why in general he likes porn... he's a man, and us men like to see naked women. Not saying we fantasize about them, we just like naked girls and being able to cum when we want to. simply said

calm down, watch it with him! he probly wont cheat on you.. if anything you should be grateful its porn hes looking at n not his secretary or something!! just have sex whilst watching porn, guarantee youl both love it. :p

am a lady and cannot stop watching pregnancy hardcore porn and having a good masturbate to it all.
Its gotten to the point where I had to buy (and now wear) a 9 months practise pregnant belly suite to do the job it fells so much better than stuffing myself and the best thing I brought. I love wearing it while watching pregnancy hardcore porn or stuff re pregnancy on TV or YouTube then masturbate rubbing a bath towel in-between my fanny and crossing my legs, when no one is around. Has anyone else brought one of these practise pregnant belly suite? I am thinking of wearing my suite one day around my village to see if any looks at me and to see how much turned on I get.

I too cannot see women, friends, family members or teachers pregnant in real life without being wet below and sexily aroused.I believe I would have to see something about pregnancy to get me in the mood before sex God I am so turned on now I need to go masturbate good and hard, as I am very wet too. View my story to read more!

Im pretty sure girls watch porn too so its not just ur husband, i think some of my friends watch it.

LOL^ true.. just fuck his brains out

What man doesn't watch porn?? Nothing wrong with it, just a visual fantasy! My hubby and I watch it together and neither of us have any problem with it.. Try it, you might be suprised how much it will spice things up.

Hm. I think I'm actually going to go and get my toys, and sit down to some porn right meow.

Men are wired differently than women. Sex, or generally interest in women are always on the brain. That doesn't mean that cheating is on the brain. Every guy, and probably every girl too, wants or is interested in what they cannot have. I think pornography is equiviallant to hollywood movies. Sure we like to action and violence or any number of outlandish cenarios, but it doesn't mean that we want to copy that. In closing, I think pornograpy is perfectly natural, and I agree with the other posters, try watching it with him and talking about it. It might just heat things up a bit :)

It has gotten to the point where I had to buy a 9 months practise pregnant belly suite which I had to give up in March 2013, since my one and only bf found it and took to a charity shop. However I never really said that I had brought it or why. I feel empty without it.

I loved to still act very very fat and pregnant too wearing tight clothes (sometimes I wear an old swimming suite stuffed to the max) and a very tight belt. It does not feel the same anymore, and does not feel like I am carrying a baby.

Reading all of these comments on this website about pregnancy, sex, masturbating and porn turns me on, so wet!!!! God help me.... towel rubbing me feeling so nice

I am pre-longing the end so much it is making me feel like crap, like I am not having a baby :-(, I do that so much these days. Cannot say why I love to make it last so long that the feeling turns to crap and not like nice masturbating anymore

It is an itch that want go away lol I agree without some pregnancy porn at times to masturbate too, it would not be so good. Everyone should enjoy porn now and again, or sexy things which turn them on - for me big fat pregnant tummies.

Also we dont do the sex movie thing all the time its like once in a great while, just to be kinky sometimes. so if we watch something that has a sex scene and where not in the mood at the moment he will actually leave the room or i will. cause theres a lot more other kinky things to do to strengthen the relationship in sex than to just watch somebody else do the hanky panky, lol and he love when i leave the room cause it shows that i care more about him as same do i when he does to :) I hope this helps. Still different strokes for different folks but it doesn't hurt to try this aspect lol, it strengthened us

idk i guess different strokes for different folks but i know my husband doesn't like watching porno, its makes him lose his boner actually but we have four kids and we have a daughter. he says that he feels he would be pist if his daughter was doing that, and he feels for the parents of the porn star and he believes that porn stars had to of been threw some bad times to be degrading there bodies. where not very religious at all, so its not that. Its just the fact that its feels wrong and hes so much into me that he feels dirty in watching stuff like that. And when where cuddling watching a movie with sex stuff, we actually get intimate in movies like that as long as where already having sex beforehand or during sorry tmi. lol We have been together for a long time and this is what works best for us, but something about porno seems to much. Also we know that it can subconsciously affect a persons mind. A psychologist told us, and also my husbands uncle molested his sister because of porno and my dad did me cause of porno, and i know of A LOT more cases like this to, so i'm not just saying this cause i have a thing against it i'm saying it cause its true.(hes in prison still, and this site has private whatever so not embarrassed to admit, to help on this matter in case people curious as to why i'm admitting to this). we had to go threw a lot of counseling because of porno. I know people will do it anyways and it might affect relationships by hurting your spouse, or maybe it doesn't bother your spouse at all. But it is always good to be cautious when it comes to a person or spouse into porno, because some people can have a very negative impact on it as to some i hope may not. This is a caring post in hopes to help not to offend anybody ;)

scientifically proven that when in a relationship if either party woman or man watches porn they will subconsciously be comparing there spouse to the person on porn stars fake body or other people where abouts in stores or where ever and eventually some cases it goes into more curiosity that leads to cheating. if you think your relationship or family is worth to lose over porn than i guess you don't really love your "lover" or family to disregard there feelings. Also porn can make a person insane like ted bundy and A LOT more. Do your research if you care, if your family (as in your own kids, wife, husband)don't mean that much to just quit watching porn than eventually itll be the addicts loss. Single people and men who cant get off is what porn was made for, not men or woman who are spoken for and have families.

Ladies. 99% of men watch porn. In most normal circumstances porn is not destructive to a relationship, at least no more than alcohol or drugs are. Porn would not be a problem for any of you if your sex life was healthy and you felt desired and appreciated by your man.

There are certainly instances when men become addicted to porn but the problem is one of addiction, not porn itself. If you are experiencing this then you have to decide whether you are dealing with a partners addiction or whether he is turning to porn because he is deeply unsatisfied with his sex life.

This can be a very difficult subject to broach and I have found that sometimes talking about sex can lead to further issues in the relationship. In this instance women find themselves in between a rock and a hard place as any attempt to discuss the problem (lack of sex) will always sound accusatory. Actions speak louder than words. Your man needs to re-discover and appreciate you again...ask him to spank you. Think of something very naughty that you've never done before. Once the sex starts up again, THEN talk about what went wrong.

If you've tried these things and there still no sex, then I have to tell you - your relationship is in serious trouble. Seek therapy or consider long and hard whether he really is the man for you.

THIS IS HILARIOUS! Look at you hens getting your feathers all ruffled over some porn. This is actually healthy if it isn't obsessive. Men think of sex over three times more than we do what did you think they did with all that extra frustration? If it isn't on their screens it's in their heads. I would rather he watch some girl who he would NEVER HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING IN A MILLION YEARS, than he start daydreaming about the girl next door.

Let them eat cake and make "icing" lol =D

It's normal only in case he lets you know and you don't mind. If you do, you really need to talk to him and let him know what you think about it.

Men are visual. 95% watch it, like 95% of men masturbate.

Good luck finding one who does neither, he's probably asexual.

Hurt and shocked? Thats pathetic. Bring your ancestors some honor by stepping up and being a survivor. Men watch porn because they have a deep seated urge to breed. Besides our brains, its the only defense mechanism we have. But over time, most of us have learned that raping and sleeping with every woman is wrong. Men let out those carnal instincts by watching other (who are paid to do so, and enjoy it) do those things. Men are pretty transparent. Sex and masturbation feels good, and it satisfies an ancient and barely controllable urge to breed.

You are at my side and i feel you ( the reason i am here posting.) It has affected my confidence and self esteem too. Women are not numb, we have instincts. Actions like this ruined our sex life. I dnt know if i have to blame it to the porns or my husband himself. He is just hurting me so bad thought i wouldn't know about it. If they want to watch porn it's ok as long as they wouldn't forget their obligations and wouldnt let us feel unattractive and at least maybe it would be better to apply it to their wives. I just want my husband back like he used to. Is it too much to ask? I wonder.

Ok here it is hard facts most men like porn some men are addicted to it, now if he is watching it and he don't mind if you know then ok he's not addicted (addicts hide)
So he let's you know he's watching it. Same way I let my wife know she can search and see what I've been looking at no problem it's all listed, now we have been together for nearly twenty years I'm now 37 she 36 and I have never cheated on her she dont like porn too much take or leave it sort really, we have watched some together but she isn't interested really, as long as I don't leave it lying around for any of the children to find, viewed only on my phone or my iPad, which only we know the passwords too by the way,shes fine but not fine with it, live and let live, what I'm trying to say is yes by all means talk to your husband let him know your feelings on it, either ask him to remove the magazines to somewhere else and delete the files or hide away his DVDs which ever, but dont give him an ultimatum that's just going to insight lies and deceiving traits from him, it is your choice entirely but that's how we did it, only I didn't have to delete the files/ history I think she just likes to check I'm not viewing anything to excessive, ( secretly I think she likes some of it more than she lets on as one file was played 12 times I only viewed it once )..
Just hope that it helps for you two to move on all the best

your husband are normal...there's something wrong with u...

We watch porn together, if u can't beat em, join em. I love the girl in girl and its lead to Greater sex life. Recently I admitted my fantasy of having another woman eat me out, so my husband eats me out as I watch the porn. This is not something we do everyday but watching porn is fun because I have do many fantasies that I've kept to myself for years and watching prem makes it easier to admit to them.

I watch a lottt of porn, but rarely think of it when I'm with my husband. Porn and my sex life are two separate worlds, if you see what I mean. They are completely separate. Porn is just an enhancement of my masturbation, but nothing could replace or change making love with my husband.

Pornography aside, is your sex life with your husband satisfying to you? If not, then you need to sit him down & have a talk.
If so, then tell him how you feel & make sure he understands how serious you are about it (don't make any threats you won't follow through with, though) & if he insists on continuing to watch porn, it's up to YOU to decide if it's worth leaving him or not.
You know, you could just find some internet material full of men you find especially attractive & enjoy yourself & if HE has a problem with it, tell him to meet you halfway (he gives up his porn & you give up yours) or to go find something to do with himself because you're busy right now!

I agreed with you.

It's totally normal!

all guys watch porn. in my middle school all my guy friends watch porn. i even know 5 year old boys who watch porn. hes not gonna cheat on u. Dont worry.:)

but just be horny always

your's friendly,

divx99

i know how you feel my boyfriend was like this too..we were together for 5 years.. we just broke up recently he was always watching porno and i know how you feel.. it's normal cause everyone watches porn when they are horny but your husband will never ever touch the woman he is watching in the tv pics shows..etc.. I know its wrong if your taken and they're watching porno but it's thier choice you can't change that well you can but you'd need to talk to them one on one. & tell them how you feel..maybe he will see how you feel about him watching porn and will stop but most guy dont..girls do it too i mean..it is normal you just need to learn that your with him and he's just watching a porno it's just a video it's not actually a girl he's with or having sex with..I'm over it though & don't care if thier watching porn cuz its none of my buisness lol.

don't worry mam your husband is perfectly safe and fine.

and he will never cheat you..

becoz many guys like to watch pron but only less man hate to see then but like to have in action..

it is very very normal no problem at all

and it doesn't mean that you are not good but think it as a relief for him and just join to watch the pron movies.

and ask why don't you try that angle practically..

and now see the action i am sure he will soon or later hate to see the pron becoz he will be doing well with you....

don't be happy.

your's friendly,

divx99

Does he treat you differently or not want to engage in real sex after watching porn? Some guys can't handle porn and a healthy relationship. Some can. I, for the most part, can, but I still try not to watch just because I am scared I am secretly damaging some part of my relationship without knowing. But I also overthink everything. Lol.