My mom's boyfriend kissed me and i don't know if i am exaggerating.

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My parents separated 4-5 years ago. When I was 13, my mom got a boyfriend. He was a lot younger than her but I thought he was good for my mom. I almost thought he could be a dad to me and my sister. Then on my 14th birthday party, I went upstairs to sleep. Everyone was drunk downstairs and my sister and I shared a room so she was asleep in her bed. I laid down, covered myself with m blanket and closed my eyes. I was almost asleep when I heard the door open. I saw my mom's boyfriend walk towards my bed and he smelled of alcohol. He stunk of it. He leaned over and slurred goodnight. Then he kissed me on the mouth, tongue too. I was so petrified and so tired that I barely knew what was going on that I didn't stop him. After a few seconds, he left the room. I laid there for a few minutes, renewing the event in my head and finally, I got up and went to the bathroom and cried as I washed m mouth out for like an hour. No one herd me since the were all drunk. I waited a year before telling my mom. She kicked him out but then after a while he came into the house and sat in the dining room. My mom wasn't home. Only me and my sister. He told me to come downstairs so I could talk to him. He was crying when he explained that I was imagining the while thing. He even made me sit on his lap. My mom let him live with us again but then she kicked him out again due to another reason.

I want to know if I was exaggerating and if I was actually supposedly just imagining the whole thing or if I was right to tell my mom because I felt so much guilt about whether I did the right thing or not. I know that in the back of m head, i did the right thing but there's this part of me saying I screwed everything up.

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Based on 24 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Waterfairy
    8 years ago

    Telling your mom was definitely the right thing to do regardless of the consequence, regardless of the result. He may have been drunk but what he did can not be excused.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    You're normal, but that alcoholic piece of shit your mother was messing with is not normal.

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  • MR.mr
    8 years ago

    You were a hundred percent right to tell your mom, no need to feel guilt

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  • najumm2025
    8 years ago

    Don't feel guilty, you weren't imagining, it wasn't you who was drunk, it was him and he got kicked out again right? So obviously he was a dodgy one.

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  • Identikit
    8 years ago

    It's normal that you're confused by this. It's an awkward situation for sure and all the mixed messages seem to be messing with your head a bit. If things played out like you say than you have no reason to feel guilty. At all. As for the boyfriend's actions...they were inappropriate, yes, but if he just kissed you once it's not a massively huge deal. His telling you that you imagined the whole thing is weak though. He should own up to his actions and acknowledge that he is the irresponsible person here.

    In situations like this our sexually confused society encourages people to freak out and act like the guy is a serial killer, telling you he is a total monster, he's beyond evil, a piece of shit etc...or, and this is usually more subtle, it encourages you to feel needlessly guilty making you question yourself and feel responsible for things you had no control over. Both attitudes are dysfunctional and unhelpful and show a poor understanding of human behavior.

    You didn't say how your mom took it when you told her (other than kicking him out) but you did nothing wrong by telling her and hopefully she tried to be supportive.

    I will say this guy and his relationship with your mother come across as pretty unstable but is also sounds like this thing may have happened a while ago. If it is over and he's gone, or at least not playing head games anymore, free your mind and let it go. It's really not worth obsessing over and although he showed poor judgement and is a coward for not acknowledging his behavior it's just a kiss and not a huge deal.

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  • thegypsysallor
    8 years ago

    I don't see the problem here.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      So would you do that to a young girl yourself? Or be happy if an adult male did it to your young daughter?

      If you don't see the problem then you are a problem yourself

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    • sexysonofsam
      8 years ago

      Seems slightly exaggerated if you ask me!Personally I think that the "boyfriend" was just trying to be a good "Daddy" to his little girl!

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        Oh so you think that's OK behaviour? It's called sexual abuse of a minor by an adult male

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        • sexysonofsam
          8 years ago

          How do you know that he "abused" her, were you by any chance there?

          She only says that he kissed her, not that he tried to take her panties off or feel her breasts or her vagina for that matter!

          Stop being a fuddy duddy...nothing happened to warrant abuse!

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          • Ellenna
            8 years ago

            What he did was abuse because she is a minor and he is an adult. He tongue kissed her and then tried to mess with her head by telling her it hadn't happened.

            IF it was innocent on his part why wd he lie about it?

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            • sexysonofsam
              8 years ago

              I was not there so I cannot reply on his behalf. Which brings me to my next point, How do we know that she is not a little Lolita and that she was actually encouraging the poor man to try his luck?

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