My mother

64% Normal
10 Comments

There isn't a way I can say this that won't make mothers out there think I'm an ungrateful daughter or others think my Mom is batshit crazy. I'm not gonna sugar coat it to make things play out in my favor. Basically I need to know whether it's normal to dislike a parental. (Hates a strong word overused with teenagers and try as I might my mum never took me seriously when I said "I hate you".) My mum well and truly hates my boyfriend for "taking me away", when in actuality my mother pushed me away. She pushed me away everyday and towards the end of me living with her, she was no longer subtle about it. She gave me an ultimatum. To pick between her and my partner. Naturally I was torn, wanting maternal affection and to still be with the man I love. She tried prying us apart by saying loudly all the bad things about me so my boyfriend could hear about it in the other room. She treated him like absolute shit and tried turning me off him for dumb things like his weight or mental illness. And when I was no longer getting income (because I'm in a relationship) she kicked me out over Christmas. Yet her whole moodlet changes within the months leading up to now and she calls me regularly to try guilt tripping me. I'm no stranger to my mothers ways. I have been manipulated into feeling sorry for her and abused by her, both emotionally and at one point in my childhood, physically. Now that I'm away from her I'm more attuned to her ways. Still, she makes me feel sorry for her sometimes that I chose to live with my partner. Even if it was mostly her idea she really plays on it each phone call. She called me today even, to tell me I'm off the will that she had made out and promised to me since I was a kid. As dark as it sounds, that will was my beacon of hope that kept me going through all her toxicity. I hoped in a weird, sick, way to be one day rewarded for putting up with her for so long. She honestly doesn't seem phased if I was waiting out for her to die so I could claim inheritance. She talks about death all the time since I've left and sometimes even before all of this. Is it normal to not feel as guilty as she'd like me to be? Sorry for the rant but I thought it necessary to provide some backstory ANY ADVICE OR THOUGHTS APPRECIATED

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 11 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Mrown
    4 years ago | pl

    I'm not going to read this long-ass post. I'll just assume it's not normal

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  • HonshuWolf200
    4 years ago

    Too long. Didn't read. But judging by the title *My Mother*, I recommend family counseling.

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  • lolamanilow77
    4 years ago

    I know it's hard sometimes, but do try to find some common ground somewhere,as impossible as it seems sometimes,because we only get one Mom and one day you will wish you had more time with her, I promise you this.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I keep thinking that and I feel bad that I don't spend time with her but if I mattered to her at all she'd try spending time with me and she wouldn't have kicked me out

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      • lolamanilow77
        4 years ago

        Believe me, i know exactly... I don't know why things happen the way they do sometimes,but i've learned that everything(even the really crappy things) all happen for a reason,even if we don't see it. I knew a girl who's mom used to treat her bad and when it came out why she said it was because she reminded her of her father who did her really bad and she had been taking it out on her(without realizing why!),and they then worked things out. I too had a strained relationship with my mom all thru growing up(ok, my fault too i admit,wild teenager!),and there were times we quit even communicating,but eventually i saw that she had been thru alot herself as a teenager and it was coming out in how she reacted to certain things and it helped me to understand her instead of resenting her. My mom died of breast cancer almost 4yrs ago,and i really miss her. I wish i could get back all of the time we lost going thru all of that,(which now seems so small and meaningless in comparison),so please do try,even though you know she's so wrong at times,try to take the high road and try to maybe understand why she reacts in the ways she does,in the end you'll be glad you did...we can never get back lost time. Feel free to let me know how things are coming along ok? Good luck honey!

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    4 years ago

    Yeah, she sounds like a toxic person. Just because you're related doesn't mean you have to put up with her. You're not an emotional punching bag for her to guilt trip.

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  • Lestat565
    4 years ago

    My advice is to cut her out of your life completely. I did it to my mother and I’m better off because of it. Anyone who isn’t a good person in your life doesn’t need to be in your life.

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  • LostSoul96
    4 years ago

    I say it's absolutely normal. From what I read she's trying to again manipulate you. I wouldn't feel too sorry for her too. As a parent, she could at least try to get along with the situation of you having a boyfriend and living on your own.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I would feel exactly the same way if someone treated me the way she did...really sorry for you, but yes, I would think that it’s normal to hate her.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I recommend breaking your text into paragraphs for easier reading

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