My pastor means well, but is too focused on my autism

31% Normal
3 Comments

I need help interacting with my pastor. I am very active in my church and I am also a high-functioning autistic adult. Whenever I talk with my pastor it becomes painfully obvious that she focuses more on my disability than she does on me as a person. Although the attention I receive from her is all positive, it feels very patronizing and makes me very uncomfortable. The frequent compliments I receive from her are often about mundane things that wouldn't be otherwise be praised, like the fact that I recorded a personalized voice mail message on my cell phone. She has even said to me "You are very special," which upset me so much that I went home and cried. I don't like being singled out and defined by my disability, but I know she doesn't mean to insult me in any way. How do I even begin to approach her about this?

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31% Normal
Based on 16 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Jazyritz619
    8 years ago

    I was diagnosed with a learning disability when I was young. I think it may have to do with my teenage parents not paying any close attention to my education plus my dad was a druggie. As I got older, I was informed about my diagnosis, it made it really hard for me to focus in whatever task I was asked to do. I get super nervous as I try focus on paying attention but my mind is focus on not messing up which I do end up fucking up. I do recall a co-worker (old, mean bitch) asking me to do something for a department that I got really nervous and ended up fucking up. She had the nerve to ask if I was on drugs, which could've gotten her into so much trouble if I reported her to HR, I didn't want to tell her I have a learning disability because I felt it wasn't any of her business. To this day I still get anxieties at work because I'm afraid of people finding out about my disability. I'm afraid of being labeled as retard or being treated differently.

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  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    You could tell her you're not as low on the spectrum that she thinks and you find it kind of insulting. I know that sounds confrontational but she needs to know. She has very dim view of autism.

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  • emilydoll
    8 years ago

    I think it's normal that she is doing this because people just do not understand autism. I understand your pain. I really feel for you. Pray that God reveals to her what you are trying to communicate and her eyes will be opened sooner or later. Perhaps write her a letter just explaining yourself and she'll come back and tell you she's sorry for misunderstanding you. You have to let people KNOW these things if you want them to change. Don't be afraid. God is with you. Love, Emily.

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