My selfies suck

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I'm beautiful when i take my selfies, but when the selfies are posted, they're not as beautiful, if at all. I look like a trauma victim in early stages of recovery.

I see terror in my eyes; the left one blazing out more fear than the right one because it is bigger and more sinisterly skewed. It looks as if the burdens of my soul lean more heavily to the left, as if that is the eye that sees my nightmares first.

Meanwhile, the left eye looks dead, as if it is going to fall off.

And then my forehead: What igneous sedimentary rock formation is this? Why do pimples erupt every time i open instagram? When did my skin become allergic to social media?

Why is it that every time i try to slay, i end up looking like I had just come to the realization that I unsuspectingly inhaled Trump's fart? Like a zombie? As if I am the one who was slain?

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Based on 8 votes
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Comments ( 2 )
  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    Yeah not all people are photogenic. Some are really attractive in real life but look like shit in selfies. You have to find the right angles and everything if you're not naturally photogenic. Plus sometimes you actually get a good selfie but if you look at it too much it becomes bad because you start judging it. It's no wonder people facetune themselves to hell and back, and due to that it's even easier to hate your natural selfies. Keep in mind though that many people online has edited the hell out of their pictures.

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    I almost never like the way I look in selfies either, and only about 50% of the time at most when someone else takes the picture.

    I've always heard that it's very easy to take selfies at a weird angle that is unflattering to your face, and whatever is closest to the camera will look bigger (forehead, chin, nose, etc.). Also, angle and lighting have a lot to do with it. Certain types of lighting will highlight every flaw, create really unflattering shadows, etc.

    Another thing is that a lot of phone cameras actually flip/mirror your photo, and it turns out looking weird. There's usually a setting you can change so it doesn't do that, or you could just manually go in and flip them and they should at least look better. My smile almost always looks super crooked in the mirrored photos (and one eye looks more squinted than the other), but much more normal when I flip them the way they were originally taken.

    It could also be that maybe you are trying too hard instead of being natural and relaxed, so your face has more of a forced expression, which looks off. If you want a smiling photo, it is best to think of something that genuinely makes you smile or laugh.

    I don't take selfies often, but when I do, I usually only kind of like one out of about 10, and sometimes none at all. I think it's hard to take a good one, we're all our own worst critics, and for me at least, the longer I stare at a photo of myself, the less I like it. It's one of the reasons I quit using my face as a profile pic on social media (along with the fact that when I changed it to my pets, all of a sudden messages and friend requests from strangers stopped).

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