My thoughts make me physically ill

The feeling of wood suck as tooth picks, the feeling of cotton balls inner scraping similar to bare drywall feeling, my mind "trolls" my body with these, and I feel physically ill. A few nights ago I dreams my hard boiled eggs were filled with blood and pus as I was eating them, and this memory keeps coming up. I also have rude thoughts, I saw a fat bald woman and though "I didn't know fat people could get cancer" frequently my mind calls passersby as niggers, fat cunts etc. but my good side hates to be mean to people. So the good side of my mind fights back by mentally raping me with a thick metal pole or something like that.

is it normal ?