My toilet broke and i had to poop in a bag

80% Normal

To start this is absolutely humiliating....my toilet broke last night and my husband has my car while his is in the shop. I had to poop and absolutely could not hold it anymore and there are no neighbors for miles. I pooped in a garbage bag (that was a mission itself)and threw it in the dumpster. I'm horrified the trash man will see it and know it came from my house. Fyi the house is being remodeled so yes, there is only one toilet. Is there a way they could know it came from my house?? I've tried looking it up on Google and haven't come across anything pertaining to this matter particularly.

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80% Normal

Based on 30 votes (24 yes)

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Comments ( 31 )

Emokate

6 years ago | pl

I don't think they rummage through the garbage and if by chance they saw it they'd probably just think it's dog poo.

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LionsMane

6 years ago

Do you not realize that these are GARBAGE MEN aka TRASH MEN. Their entire careers are smelly bags. The only way trash, that ends up in a dumpster, is humiliating or could effect your life is if you were, say, a guy and had purchased a dildo and someone saw the box with the receipt...or...if there was (either) someone looking to get dirt on you or steal money from you, finding valuable banking information or a social security #, or private e-mails or something. But if you're worried about the fact that you crapped in a bag because you had no other option, that's silly.

Side note, I took a trip to the Grand Canyon once...14 hour drive or so. Found myself in the middle of nowhere with a need to poop, like you did. No gas stations in sight, couldn't hold it anymore. There was a random area with stuff like a rusted microwave and a mound of dirt, and scattered clothes. Pooped there. Actually found a gay porn magazine and had to wipe my ass with it.

Your story is nothing to a lot of people.

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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

"Absolutely humiliating" for you = absolutely hilarious for me! You're overthinking this, btw. I doubt the trash guy would give pay enough attention to notice, plus the poop might be under some other stuff.

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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

They will just think one of the grungy renovators you hired did it. No big deal and life is life.

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pendletonGibbs

6 years ago

Why not just use a fork and break it apart in the sink? Now the evidence is out there. What happens when the garbage man sees a human deuce dropping out of the truck and knows it came from you? Better find a good lawyer.

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Dustyair

6 years ago

So the garbage man opens all your garbage bags to see if you pooped in them? And if you did, does he post it on Youtube?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  It's not local pickup, there's a big dumpster there we ordered for the contractors. There's alot of mixed stuff like our old vanity, flooring, and etc. I don't know if they have to sift and sort it or how it all works. Maybe my poop is so special that he would be so kind to post it on YouTube.
  
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  - Dustyair
    
    6 years ago
    
    Ha ha! I will keep a look out on youtube in that case :)
    
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- Nickvey
  
  6 years ago
  
  and the house too
  
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Checkmate_King

6 years ago

double bag it no one will know.

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- pendletonGibbs
  
  6 years ago
  
  Or just poop in a pringles container and place it back on the store shelf.
  
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CozmoWank

6 years ago

I can't believe anyone would throw away perfectly good poop.

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- pendletonGibbs
  
  6 years ago
  
  I know, right? All mine ends up in the open cesspool in my neighbor's yard.
  
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Pumpurrnickel

6 years ago

I don't see an alternative, so normal.

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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

If there are no neighbors for miles, why not just poop in the yard instead?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  It's 20 degrees and the ground is frozen.
  
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  - McBean
    
    6 years ago
    
    Truckers poop in coffee cans all the time. It's all part of life on the road.
    
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    It's 23° here in Delaware right now, and I'd totally do it, especially if there was snow on the ground, if it weren't for all my elderly suburban neighbors. It would be worth pooping outside in the freezing cold just to watch the steam rise off my poo.
    
    I remember back when it snowed really hard that one time when I was living in Mississippi, although it was hard, because folks down South aren't used to driving in snow I still have fond memories of steam rising off my Sheltie's turds. Whatever happens in this life, whatever hardships I may face and sorrows I might be forced to endure no one can take that precious memory away from me!
    
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    - pendletonGibbs
      
      6 years ago
      
      Wait... I thought you lived in Texas?
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        6 years ago
        
        Not anymore
        :-(
        
        At least it's nice and cold, and snows in the winter here!
        :-)
        
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    - Checkmate_King
      
      6 years ago
      
      Does signing your name in the snow with steaming urine float your boat too?
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        6 years ago
        
        Nope.
        
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- e51pegasi
  
  6 years ago
  
  And then find somewhere to bury your embarrassing excrement?
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    Hey, I never said I was embarrassed.
    
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Aethylfritha

6 years ago

Honestly its no big deal. People do that while camping. Just don't worry about it.

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Mehereok1

6 years ago

No big deal. When my home office was in my finished basement, there was only a half-bath, and, the upflush toilet didn't work. Many times, if I couldn't make it to the upstairs bathroom, I'd stretch a food store plastic bag across the non-working toilet, which was dry on the inside anyway, take a hefty dump and pee in the bag, and tie it up when I was done. Tossed outside in the trash can. Like one guy said, they're trash guys. It's their job to haul away smelly stuff.

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Ummitsme

6 years ago

Who gives a shit?

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BarakaBrat

6 years ago

Just shit in the shower, but just let your asshole close really tight on the poop and break it into small pieces so it can go down the drain easier.

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magic7

6 years ago

Rent a portapotty

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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

Why even care? I pooped in someone’s back property once. They probably just thought it was dog poop and grumbled about all the damn strays in the area XDD

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Tealights

6 years ago

LOL

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Are You Normal?

My toilet broke and i had to poop in a bag