My wife is pregnant and i don’t feel anything

5 Comments

My wife just told me she’s pregnant a few days ago and I have no feelings about it. A little backstory: Over the holidays last year my wife got pregnant. We weren’t trying to have another child (we currently have an eight year old) but it happened and we were really excited. Then the week of Christmas she began to miscarry- all through Christmas Day she had to hide the miscarriage from her family because she didn’t want anyone to know. After the holidays finally passed, the events finally hit us and we both broke down and let our emotions go.

Not even two months later, here we are and she is pregnant again. Once again, we weren’t trying so it is unexpected. My initial thought was “oh no... I don’t want to go through that again”. But I’ve since reasoned with myself that though the possibility is there, it’s very probable she will have a successful pregnancy.

But that’s not the question at hand. My main concern is that I feel nothing whatsoever about it. At first it was almost regret because I didn’t want us to experience that pain again. But now that has passed and I literally don’t feel anything: no regret, no fear or anxiety, no excitement or happiness- nothing.

I think that I should feel something but I just don’t seem to care at all. I think I’ve moved on from the miscarriage, so I don’t think that’s affecting what I currently feel/don’t feel, and I was so excited the last time it seems I would be excited this time, but I’m not.

Have you ever experienced something like that? Is it normal?

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Comments ( 5 )
  • CountessDouche
    5 years ago

    You might be putting up proverbial walls to protect yourself, i.e. not allowing yourself to care due to the possibilty of losing the baby.

    I'm sure your wife is scared as shit too, so don't.

    Muster whatever feelings you have & fake the rest i'm sure once the baby is born, you will really care again.

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  • litelander8
    5 years ago

    I had a miscarriage and my man and I were pretty devastated. More so than I thought I would've been. I also got pregnant a few months after. I couldn't connect for the first 3 or 4 months. It finally set in and my baby is super rad. It'll pass. Congratulations by the way.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Ya fucked up now son...

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    • pmoct1810
      5 years ago

      Haha. Thanks.

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  • WeirdGuyFromTheSouth
    5 years ago

    My situation was very similar to yours. My wife miscarried our first. The second I felt nothing. Even the miscarriage I felt guilty for not getting upset. It's different for the women I think because they are the ones that carry them. My wife was destroyed when the miscarriage happened.

    That all changed when she had the baby on the second try and I was standing right there and was the first to hold him. I was just in shock seeing him and was amazed. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced. Anyway I still didn't feel much the next few days after that with him. I loved him a lot but now hes 6 months and I love him more everday.

    Its crazy when they start developing infront of your eyes man. So I wouldnt worry about it. I went through the same thing. Its perfectly normal. Once he's born and you get to see his first smile and watch him be happy you'll get those feelings.

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