No matter how much of it i think i haven't a clue what's true about it yet

How is meditation, e.g. a long ponder into "the truth", going to make you an honest man necessarily? I think the thinking is a lie, truth is what's pre-thought, my beliefs right here on a plate. I think I don't have to think by pondering or self-reflecting, I think I should think merely by believing (and also by using my memory, by expecting, and by reflecting, a thinking I've never done before), my thinking is about to be different, as Australians in changing the definition of think, they don't think, they don't reflect, they don't expect, they don't use their memory, they only think one thing, one way: they believe everything should be in favour of Australia.
It's a paradox, everything's thinking, nothing is without thinking. Just the thinking isn't the question, I'm trying to think my way into reality, it's not working, things are the opposite of what I think unless I have a belief that's magically true, like reality magically. It only happens in a dream, nothing corresponds to reality, everything's false. There's too much navel-gazing my way into what's real, wake up, this is the real world, it's not the thoughts in your head, it's positively objective and only in your consciousness, wise people aren't these stereotyped religious leaders, old men, and wizards and men with elixirs, herbs and drugs to prolong life alchemically, wise men are the well-informed types, the people with the itineraries, the people who use their school smarts, and the people who schedule, plan, and shop for their lives and health in the modern age, that's wisdom, all that thinking and other stupid things, like learning from your folly, ancient teachings, and ancient philosophy, that's not a wise man, a wise man is a modern day man who acts normal!!! That's reality.