Obsessed with bf's ex girlfriend choices

I feel horrible writing this but I need to hear what people have to say.

I started dating my bf almost a year ago. I like him, he is a nice guy who is trying hard to make things happen. In the past he smoked weed everyday and followed bands.

That's fine, however, his choices on ex girlfriends bother me. One of them looks very trashy and has a horse face. He broke up with her because she was "crazy" he says, and I have been able to get past it.

But the one he dated before me for two years and lived with for a year bothers me. She is so fat and so plain. I feel shallow having this bother me. He told me she gained around 60 pounds after their breakup. However, a girl that went to HS with her said she was always "husky." When I confronted my bf about this he said that wasn't true. That she wasnt that skinny but she was not nearly as fat as she is now. The girl seems plain, she has a very unattractive boyfriend now. He says the reason why they broke up is because he felt they had nothing to talk about. He says she is a nice person but she doesnt like politics and is not adventurous. I am very adventurous and involved in social justice causes; he loves that.

What bothers me is how did it take him 2 years to figure out he had nothing to talk about with her. That's so long. What kind of person stays with someone for that long with that going on (maybe it wasnt always like that). I have heard the girl is nice so after dating the crazy horse faced girl, maybe she offered that.

Why does this bother me soo much? I feel so weird having thsi bother me, hanging onto his past.. he is cute, shouldnt he have better standards?? I have never had this issue with ex boyfriends since the girls they dated I considered attractive.

Any comments?? IS this normal??? Advice please??

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77% Normal
Based on 91 votes (70 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • silly_person

    you should be glad that your boyfriend is not a shallow person..he was willing to be with her and try to make it work for so long, because maybe she wasnt as good looking as you, but she was a nice person..be flattered that you are both looks and brains, unlike the other two!
    =)

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  • DrunkOnApathy

    it bothers you because it's an insult. it feels as if his other girlfriends are of the same standard as you are, because you think he must have a "type" of girl that he goes for. Just because she was plain and ugly doesn't mean that thats a reflection on you or your relationship with him now

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  • hes with you now so who gives a crap

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  • Nocomprende

    Your boyfriend could have a lot of ex gf's that he went out with for various reasons. People change...and the people around the people that are changing...change too...

    You shouldn't worry about it.

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  • stillcurious

    Somebody has to date the fat slutty horsefaced bitches

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  • Handfield

    I think you just look at them and think youre probably in the same "group" as them cuz he picked you. Then it makes u feel insecure and uncomfortable. Don't forget that those were his decisions and they dont have anything to do with the fact that hes with you...

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  • midnatwilight

    Shallow. Get over yourself, and stop judging other people.

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  • screaminasian

    lol jk
    a lot of guys are surprisingly unshallow and accepting if there are key points of commonality.

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  • screaminasian

    maybe there's something massively wrong with you too that you don't even know about because no one's told you.

    maybe you'll never know

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  • Galaxy500

    i hope this is not too late of a post, but I've had the same questions about my boyfriend's exes... especially the ex-wife. But, he was in "bad relationships" one after the other and they were all in a 2 year time span. Two of them even cheated on him! But, I think he was just hopeful.. maybe had the idea and the stubbornness that he could change the girls, but alas... you cannot change anyone. This could have been the thinking behind what your boyfriend said earlier, but yeah definitely do not talk about his exes... and if he brings them up put your fingers in your ears and go "la la la la la la" because it's in the past so therefor it's horseshit. haha

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  • homehome14

    Its perfectly normal, I iam the same way to my boyfriend. I hang on to all of his past girls friends from the sluty ugly ones to the fat bitchy ones. your fine just talk to him about it hell understand.
    It just shows how much you love him, and think about him:)

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    • bamsiepants

      Oh HEY Homehome14! ..That's the PERFECT way to run a guy off! lol. I used to do the same thing..but after time and time again of doing that to him.. I realized he'd been getting more and more annoyed with it.

      Get over it. Really. That kind of stuff is not that important. Unless you're shallow. Then you're just an aweful person.

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