Old relationship fucked me up sexually

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3 Comments

Okay here's the jist. I'm a guy, I'm young and I was with a girl casually for 6 months. Whenever we'd have sex she would just lay there and I didnt want to bring it up because I knew she was insecure and I didnt want to make her feel bad by telling her shes not very good in bed. Every time we'd have sex she would lay there and barely kiss back, she didn't initiate anything but said yes when I asked if she wanted to do xyz.

A while ago we had sex and afterwards when we had finished she said she felt used and that she didnt want to, only thing is I asked for consent and double checked before hand that she meant it because she hesitated. I know now that she just has a hard time saying no which made me feel fucking disgusting and suddenly it made sense to me why she was always so weird in bed.. I dont think she ever really meant it when she said she wanted to have sex and it makes me feel so fucking disgusting. Anyway the sex we had was bad objectively even kissing she was barely present for and now I cant remember what normal intimacy feels like. It should be a two way street with mutual enthusiasm but as she was my first real sexual partner that was what was imprinted in my head as what sex is and it sucked so bad, it was like making out with a robot it was actually that bad. I'm seeing a girl tomorrow and I'm hoping that she will be more assertive and honest about what she wants.. idk I just think it messed me up sexually I'm quite confused as to what to expect

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20% Normal
Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    Grab her and force yourself on her, the more violent the better. Trust me, girls love that shit

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  • Boojum
    3 years ago

    Life, people and sex are all fucking complicated, bro, and people who have problems communicating honestly can really do your head in.

    From what you say, it sounds like you handled your side of the relationship in a responsible and caring way. Maybe you could be faulted for not reading her non-verbal communication correctly, but us guys tend to be pretty shit at that (and the facts that women tend to be good at the non-verbal stuff and how many of them have the idea that this means men _should_ be too, can cause huge problems in relationships).

    Something you might want to try to bear in mind is that women get lots of messages from the time they're very young that a "good girl" will always try to make others happy. Until they figure out that's a bunch of crap, that can mess up their life and the lives of the people they're involved with. From how you describe the woman, I suspect she isn't yet mature enough to have experienced this insight.

    All I can suggest is that you try not to let yourself be defined by your failed relationship. Probably the best thing you can do is consider it a learning experience. You did the best you could the last time, but now you know a bit more, and you'll do better the next time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Dude for real thank you this was such a good comment and you totally cleared my head on the matter, I appreciate it brother

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