Paranoia due to religion, iin?

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43 Comments

I am very upset. A few minutes ago, I got into a very nasty fight with my mother who is an extreme Christian. The fight started when she came running into my rec room and told me that she heard a song in her head. Because, she heard this song she believes that the Apocalypse or something similar will happen tomorrow. She demanded that I pray and accept Jesus as my savior or else I would go to hell. I repeatedly begged her to stop because the things she was saying were making me very paranoid and upset. Suddenly, she rushed up at me and started screaming that I was going to hell in my face. I was so upset that I started crying. I told her to leave me along as I ran to get a tissue. Shortly afterwards, I called up a relative believing that I would be comforted, but I was wrong. This relative ended up taking her side and told me that I need to study and embrace Christianity better. I feel so hurt.

Many years ago, I considered myself a Christian but my life was one of misery. I was constantly paranoid and it caused me many other problems. The first time I openly converted, I decided to try out Buddhism and the reactions I got from my family were violent.

For the past two years, I've been a Agnostic-Atheist (Yes, its possible!) and I have been very happy. I feel at peace with myself and its very rare that I am fearful. Because my beliefs don't reflect that of my family I have been trying to keep it to myself. However, I now fear that the relative I called up might tell other religious relatives or friends. And quite frankly, I don't want to be harassed.

I believe that everyone has a right to follow whatever religion they choose and if they so choose that's their business and no one else's. What I don't get is why some people twist the "rules" of their religion to suit them. Or why, some people believe they have the right to force their religion on others. In discussions with family members and some religious acquaintances, they have recognized that everyone has a right to their beliefs yet, their actions don't match their words. Everything's fine until they find out someone doesn't match their beliefs and then all hell breaks loose.

Is it this normal?

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43% Normal
Based on 44 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 43 )
  • imadragon
    10 years ago

    Leave them. (If you can.)

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      Currently, I can't. I mean in essence I could but it would terribly unrealistic for me to do so.

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  • Nokia
    10 years ago

    It saddens me to hear this happen. How dare she force her irrational beliefs onto you. Even if she was correct about it, that does not give her the right to harass you the way she did. Your mom is crazy, and hopefully tomorrow she will apologize when she see's that her suspicions were wrong. Do not give into her threats of hell, they are just a fear tactic to try and get you to conform to her beliefs. I think this is a form of abuse, and you should try and detach from your family a bit and move out if they continue behavior like this. If you need support, there are plenty of atheist forums and chats online you could go to. Of course, if you do this, be careful to make sure to hide it (delete browsing history!) so none of your family notices it, as they sound dangerous.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      The day after the event, she didn't want to talk about it. It was briefly brought up between her and the relative I foolishly called.

      I do agree with you that this is a form of abuse. (I'd say verbal and emotional) I spent that whole day living in fear that I was going to die but I didn't. I'm not going to listen to her if I can help it.

      I've been wanting to detach myself from that side of the family for years. I would like to now but currently not in the right situation for doing it. I would like to move many miles away and get a restraining order. I just want to be able to live the life that I always wanted IN peace.

      I have my own laptop top. They don't watch my internet usage nor do they go through my internet history. I'll still continue to take precautions, though.

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  • Mr.Hate
    10 years ago

    The cunt is ill.

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  • lufa
    10 years ago

    OP, here's an e-hug for you. Don't let the lunatics break you down. I'm sorry for your mother, my mother is a wacko Christian too, but she's gotten more mellow over the years.

    The best thing to do, if you can is just to live on your own or with a trustworthy relative who is not a religious nut. So long as you live with her and she has all the power, she will make your life hellish.

    I used to debate religion a lot with my parents but it didn't accomplish much, they still hold on to their delusions. It seems that people who want to believe in something don't care about reason, they go with their urges.

    Just don't let your crazy mother get to you. Just laugh it off or humor her so you can live in peace until you can move out on your own.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      Thanks.

      As far as I know, all of my relatives are religious. However, I don't know the full extent of some or if there are any relatives that are non-christian. I'm not at all close with my family so, it would make me very uncomfortable to move in with people I barely know.

      I would like to laugh it off but I fear the type of reactions I would get. I've tried putting scientific possibilities on the table to very little success.

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      • lufa
        10 years ago

        By 'laugh it off' I meant not to take her seriously. The good thing is that you can recognize that your mother isn't all there mentally. Otherwise you'd be as brainwashed as she is, waiting to get raptured.

        Unfortunately this is the evil that religions wrought-Islam is 10 times worse than Christianity, so you're lucky she isn't a muslim. They actually kill their kids who go atheist or convert to another religion.

        Well you can also try gently reasoning with her and questioning the validity of her beliefs. I think that was the biggest thing that helped me with my parents.

        They knew I was atheist and could do nothing about it. Plus they had no good counter-arguments and didn't want to debate me so they left me alone to do whatever I wanted, so long as I wasn't getting in trouble.

        In the meantime you should consider an exit plan to get away from your mother. If you can't live with your relatives consider getting a stable job and moving on your own or with friends. You'll become better friends with her after you leave.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    10 years ago

    More proof that religion is mental illness.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      True that! But then again, wouldn't it depend on the religion?

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      • lufa
        10 years ago

        Yes some religions are more peaceful, like Hinduism and Buddhism, but they are still a form of delusion and a misreading of the universe and reality. Therefore their teachings are largely misguided and they all need to be discarded.

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  • Nephew7
    10 years ago

    Ask them what created god

    Ask them why adam and eve are incest

    Ask them if its okay to molest children

    Tell them their religion is a cult, if she hits you call the cops, goodluck dealing with those idiots.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      I have tried to bring up questions like these to very little success.

      I doubt strongly that she would hit me as she has never hit me before. I'm sure she would believe it to be unchristian-like. In the advent of such an incident, I don't think that calling the cops would be the best of ideas. My neighbors are very nosy and I would hate for them to try to stick their nose in it.

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    • disthing
      10 years ago

      Yeah because being antagonistic towards family members you are stuck living with who flip out and scream that you're going to hell isn't at all inviting further trouble and confrontation. Dumb advice.

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      • Nephew7
        10 years ago

        No but if you show them your views and stand with pride they will eventually respect you, and if they cant fuck them..

        If you simply be yourself you weave out people you dont like by default, however lieing to your family isnt any better..

        i would beat the shit out of anybody that got that close to me about something as dumb as religion, my personal upbringing was similar, if you fight it always they cave eventually

        btw your comment wasnt any better blaming it on some random mental illness, the illness is religion

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        • disthing
          10 years ago

          If you're on your own in an abusive environment, you don't push your abuser's buttons. You don't provoke them, especially if you can't escape that environment any time soon. You look for the quickest, safest and easiest route out.

          You probably don't wish to fight endlessly in the hopes they "eventually respect you." Even if you physically can, you probably don't want to "beat the shit out of" your mother because she's ramming religion down your throat, because what good would that actually do?

          My comment was better, because I didn't suggest the OP should challenge their mother's religious belief with basic questions (that if you actually had any experience would know make no impact whatsoever on dyed-in-the-wool Christians) when she's clearly mentally unstable.

          I didn't attribute her behaviour to some 'random' mental illness, I attributed it to a very specific mental illness because her behaviour was a perfect example of a paranoid schizophrenic episode. I don't agree that religion is an illness, but I think symptoms of mental illnesses have, especially in the past, been misinterpreted as religious manifestations (possessions, auditory and visual hallucinations etc.). I respect anybody's right to follow a religion - I don't respect those who force their religion upon others or use it to excuse harmful behaviour towards innocent people.

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          • Nephew7
            10 years ago

            These questions arent that basic if they never roamed around the minds of half of america, basic questions deny the beliefs of half our country

            Accept the fact most people are stupid

            I assumed OP is a girl and can stand for herself, and i certainly wouldnt say to bark back..

            Just because you take the simple, easy route doesnt mean it's better

            No mentally stable person is heavy religious it literally grips the concept of nonsense to the mind

            this is a touchy subject because it's the parents choice and we dont really know enough details otherwise.

            call the police and say your mom is harrassing you about her beliefs i guess? there really isnt a definite answer on IIN it's not a problem solving site

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            • disthing
              10 years ago

              They are basic questions, but they make no difference. It's not necessarily stupidity, it's often wilful denial or flexibility of interpretation.

              People can and do interpret The Bible how they want. They can take some parts literally, some parts as allegories. They can say some parts refer to life as it was in a different age and that not all of it is applicable to modern times. They can say God meant one thing, or indeed another. They can even say not all of the Bible is true as it was written by various people, but that they believe in the basic idea of Jesus dying for 'our sins' and that Jesus is the son of God. That's what leads to myriad denominations of religions - minor and major differences in interpretation. This flexibility of interpretation allows people to refute criticism, or ignore it altogether.

              But more powerful and frankly irrepressible than that is 'faith'. You can endlessly deconstruct a religious text upon which a religion is based, but that won't necessarily make a dent upon a fundamental belief, something often idiopathic, that a deity exists. It might seem irrational to you and me, but for some that certainty is intrinsic.

              Anyway, enough about that. I agree there is no definitive answer. I just don't think in OP's situation provocation would be beneficial. I think if OP can fly under the radar until there is opportunity to move away then they should. Or if the problems escalate they should call either a support line or, as you say, the police. I think physical and emotional wellbeing is more important in most cases than confrontation to make a point, specifically when a child is involved (although we don't know how old OP is). Let's also not forget that in all likelihood the OP still loves and cares for their mother, despite her actions, and that the mother in all likelihood still loves and cares for their child - so maintaining some kind of relationship might be important.

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  • Sweetbird
    9 years ago

    Thank God this is becoming less and less normal, so much so that it can be surprising to see people still stuck in these traps of thought. That, and mental illness can be a factor, You will leave home when you are older and live most of your life on your own terms. Just be sure when you throw out your religion that you keep anything that was special to you. For instance, if you've felt God wanted you to do something good with your life, you don't have to give up that desire weather or not there is a God. nor does there have to. It has also been said that God can only be real to those who believe in it, but I think traumatic experiences with religious people and beliefs can go a long way in preventing one from being able or interested in opening up to this. But it is an experience in itself. But there need not be a God for there to be an element of the divine in life. I think your mom is doing the best that she can, and remember that sometimes people get angry because they are afraid or ignorant. I know it is hard, but hang in there. I think she is not mad but scared, and that in her own way she cares. I hate religion for causing these problems. I have seen several things that were so amazing that I admit not even the smartest person has been able to prove there is no God for thousands of years, so I can't claim there's not--it's humility only. but most days I don't think about that stuff, though I used to enjoy it. I don't think It matters weather I have the right belief, but I'd say I'm with you on the agnosto-atheism, and was straight atheist for four years. I may never decide.

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  • Riddler
    9 years ago

    This is a sign of schizophrenia.
    You should do an intervention and convince her to see a psychiatric professional.

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  • Erik963
    10 years ago

    I read only the first part and all I can say is that your mother is ugly hypothetic brain washed bitch. If someone is going to hell it will be her. I wish I could meet her and tell her into face that god is fake as her tits.

    Fucking dick head people like these are destroying this god forsaken word. This is not christianism but abuse. Tell this to cops and let her rot behind the balls.

    Abusive bitch, wish I could freaking met her and break her ugly face.

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  • ManicMan
    10 years ago

    Be yourself, and enjoy life.No one should ever impose their religion on others, I'm sorry that happened to you.I'm involved w/The Salvation Army and I pray often.However you have a right to choose what to believe and how to live your life the way you want.
    P.S:Hope you feel better.:)

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      Thank you.

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  • disthing
    10 years ago

    What your mum did isn't normal.

    It sounds to me like the way your mum acted crossed the line into a schizophrenic episode. Hearing things in her head, delusions about an impending apocalypse, becoming emotionally unstable and turning on a loved one. Sometimes people's mental health problems can be disguised (even encouraged) by religion - schizophrenia especially involves a lot of symptoms that can be misinterpreted as religious 'manifestations'. Unfortunately your relative did exactly this - misinterpreted your mum's actions as legitimate expressions of her faith.

    You might try and reason with her, but I doubt very much you'd get through. The best thing would be to confide in some friends or different relatives who you know aren't Christian and can offer some sympathy and support. Avoid discussing your agnostic stance as much as possible with your Christian family members, try to avoid taking any bait. It'd also be wise to have the number for a support line handy, like the national or charity-funded numbers you can call if you need to talk about serious problems at home, just in case it gets any worse. Best of luck.

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    • Avant-Garde
      10 years ago

      I currently don't know of any relatives that are non-christian. I wouldn't confide in my offline "friends". I don't want them knowing about my personal life. In fact, I've been slowly distancing myself from them. The ones that in the past I would've confided to, I wouldn't now since I feel so bad for inadvertently burdening them with my past problems.

      Needless to say, there are no support lines I could call. I wouldn't call charity lines because I'd fear that they may take things out of context (for instance, they might get the impression that I'm suicidal and call the authorities which would only make things worse) and I have a hard time confiding into people anyway. I wouldn't be comfortable unless I was talking to a therapist. Then again, I have hard time trusting them too. :/

      I try my best not to get into her religion. I've tried reasoning with her to no avail. I had been trying to going under the radar with my beliefs when the incident happened. When she does bring it up now, I'll have to nod. But if I just nod then she might start asking if I believe and I'd have to lie to her again.

      Thank you:)

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  • noid
    10 years ago

    Your mother was not behaving the way a genuine follower of Jesus would.

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  • Wendell
    10 years ago

    Even religious people would call her behavior crazy. Religion isn't really bad, but she just is

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    • lufa
      10 years ago

      No religion is really bad, she takes the beliefs to heart and is more faithful than watered-down Christians like you. Meaning the more religious you become, the crazier you get, because religion is pure evil.

      Just look at what muslims are doing today. Recent example, some Mullah married an 8 yr old girl in Afghanistan and tried to have sex with her. Because her vagina was tight (being a pre-pubscent child), he took a knife and widened it, then he raped her-causing her immense torture and suffering. She died shivering from the cold due to blood-loss, praying to Allah.

      By the way they got this idea from their pedophile-prophet Mohammad. Every muslim man strives to be a child-raping psychopathic terrorist like him.

      I haven't even touched on the terrorism, riots, muslim rape gangs and so on. All of their behavior is made acceptable, even divine because of religion-Islam in this case. Christianity isn't much better but it's more evolved and less violent than it used to be, but it's still an evil ideology.

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        Not all religion is evil though what you described is an example of it being so. O_O

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        • lufa
          10 years ago

          Well it depends on what you consider evil. If telling a lie to a child is evil, even if you mean well, then they are all evil, since all religions are based on a lie/misunderstanding of the universe-even if they aren't violent.

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  • q1w2e3
    10 years ago

    "Lakum deenukum waliyadeen" quran.com/109/6

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  • suckonthis9
    10 years ago

    You should have said something more like this:

    I am very upset. A few minutes ago, I got into a very nasty fight with my mother who is an extreme radical religious divided person. The fight started when she came running into my rec room and told me that she heard a song in her head. I believe that she is having psychological problems, and is in need of psychiatric counseling. Because, she heard this song she believes that a nearly 2,000 year old psilocybin-induced fantasy will come true, or something similar will happen tomorrow. She demanded that I ask some hallucinatory deity and accept Jesus of Nazareth (a known criminal, who was executed about 2,000 years ago) as a dead person who will somehow protect me from damger or destruction, or else I would go to some imagined fictitious nether world, which has been proven by various scientific methodologies, not to exist, in this Universe, or in any other Universe. I repeatedly begged her to stop because the things she was saying were making me very paranoid and upset. Suddenly, she rushed up at me and started screaming that I was going to this imagined place, in my face. I was so upset that I started crying. I told her to leave me alone, as I ran to get a tissue. Shortly afterwards, I called up a relative believing that I would be comforted, but I was wrong. This relative ended up taking her side and told me that I need to study and embrace archaic hatred and division better. I feel so hurt.

    Many years ago, I considered myself to be one of these divided people, but my life was one of misery. I was constantly paranoid and it caused me many other problems. The first time I openly admitted to changing my philosophy, I decided to learn about the teachings of Gautama Buddha, and the reactions I got from my family were violent.

    I am now at Peace and Harmony with myself and others, and I am on a Path to Enlightenment.

    For the past two years, I've been a Agnostic-Atheist (Yes, its possible!) and I have been very happy. [No it is not possible, and I will seek to change this. The first term refers to a person who is undecided on whether or not to believe in something which does not exist, and the second refers to a person who does not believe in something which does not exist. Also, -ists and -isms are a religious and political tool imposed on others, and are incongruous with the teachings of Gautama Buddha]. I feel at peace with myself and its very rare that I am fearful. Because my beliefs don't reflect that of my family I have been trying to keep it to myself. However, I now fear that the relative I called up might tell other religious relatives or friends. And quite frankly, I don't want to be harassed.

    I believe that everyone does not have a right to impose whatever religion they choose on others, and if they so choose, then they should keep it to themselves. What I don't get is why some people twist the "rules" of their religion to suit them. Or why, some people believe they have the right to force their religion on others. In discussions with family members and some religious acquaintances, they have recognized that everyone has a right to their beliefs yet, their actions don't match their words. Everything's fine until they find out someone doesn't match their beliefs and then everything becomes chaotic.

    Is it this normal?

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    • disthing
      10 years ago

      Agnosticism isn't 'being undecided whether or not to believe in something which does not exist'.

      It's believing there is insufficient evidence to prove or disprove unequivocally the existence of a deity.

      That's a DECISION.

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        How true. I am surprised that he doesn't know this...

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    • lufa
      10 years ago

      bro go join the jihad and get yourself martyred.

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      • suckonthis9
        10 years ago

        Divided Archaic.

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        • lufa
          10 years ago

          retarded, redundant

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    It's all in your head.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Now that is not the proper attitude towards your parent, young lady. You should obey to your parents every wish, because, unless you are 18 years old, you are still their property. You have no rights. Get that into your head!

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    • thegruffalo
      10 years ago

      You must be a troll! That's outrageous.

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