Parents guilted me into going to grad school and it was time wasted.

86% Normal
5 Comments

A few disclaimers before you answer the question and make rash judgement:

- I wasn't raised by American parents so an expectation of going to grad school doesn't seem normal.

- My question is: is how I reacted normal? (Not whether the overall situation is normal or not because it clearly isn't.)

Details:

When I was about to finish college, my parents pushed me to go to grad school. They basically paid my way through college and reasoned it's my duty to listen to them. I honestly had little interest in more years of education at that point.. I was all pumped up to get a job and start making some money at that point. However, they emphasized how much time they've researched graduate programs and how they've spent years saving money to pay the tuition and concluded it'll be a grand waste if I were not to go.

I had little interest in grad school (in Biology) but I went since I felt bad for my parents if I didn't go.

2 years into grad school, I flunked out (couldn't compete against others who were more passionate about the subject.) My parents pushed me to apply to another grad school and berated me for failing.

I never rebelled against my parents when I was a teenager but at age 23-24, this was the first time I seriously rebelled against my parents. I tactfully said NO and stated that I'd rather get a job and start working. I decided to follow my passion and worked in Finance instead.

Years later, I still get questioned in job interviews as to why I went to grad school for 2 years in Biology and failed out. I hate being dishonest but I can't seem to reframe the truth into better sounding terms than "my parents wanted me to."

My main question: does the way I made my career decisions sound normal, given the special circumstances I was subjected to? If I had the chance to relive my life, I'd obviously take a radically different route upon college graduation.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 36 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Sweet_Brown
    10 years ago

    Sugar, you should never let ANYONE push you into making a decision that you're not comfortable with. It's YOUR life and only you can live it.

    You ain't got time to be lettin people control your future!

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    Some people are simply not good at certain subjects. You wanted to do financing which deals with money. Your parents wanted you to follow a science career. Business, math and science are all good careers to get into. If you do not like science nothing is going to make you LOVE IT anymore.

    Your parents are idiots for trying to force you into something you are not going to be good at. My parents tried doing this to me. People should accept people all have strengths and you should try to work on strengths not try to change them.

    My parents tried doing this to me as a child. I was always very hyper and they tried to get rid of the fact I was by suppressing it. They never thought maybe letting me do something to get rid of all that energy. They just said "Well we don't like it so it must be bad".

    I was in a sport which I enjoyed, was very good at and wore me out. Despite all this they said "Well no we don't like that sport so you cant be in it". They later forced me to go to a sport that was calm, low activity, little exertion and I was very bad at.

    They said something was wrong with me for not being good at it and I wanted to go back to the other one. They refused to let me go back to the sport I was good at since they claimed it was bad. You cant work against the current. Its much easier working with it.

    Parents often do not take into consideration how a child feels. They only think about how they feel and don't really take into the welfare or health of the child. Simply what they feel is right. They don't really seem to get a child is a person on their own and they are going to have their own personality and interests.

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  • spaghettifrier
    10 years ago

    You're not applying for bio jobs anyway, right? So why shouldn't look bad to them that you had a change of interest. Sometimes you go into a field to discover it isn't right for you. Anyone that's going to judge you negatively probably isn't worth working for... well, by my standards. I'd rather not work for d bags.

    Sorry your parents have given you a hard time! I understand feeling obligated... you love your parents and naturally are happy when they are happy for you. They should be happy you are doing what you love. And you're a lot farther along than many your age. There is still so much time for you even. Sometimes people need to chill out!

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    At least you realized that it wasn't your cup of tea in the end and now you'd doing something you enjoy. That's a positive outcome. :D

    Grad school was the logical next step in your education, but it doesn't seem like your parents understood how much you hated it. I hope they're supportive of you now.

    Unlike you, my parents discouraged me from going to university. They thought it would be in my best interests if I were to find a nice husband who didn't beat me, settle down, and have children. But that wasn't my dream. So, for years, I had to work crappy low-paying jobs, struggling to get by, living below the national poverty-line. Now that I'm in my thirties and a little more financially stable, I can pursue the education I was discouraged from earlier in life, and I'm excelling at it.

    Parents always think they know what is best for their children, so I hope you can forgive them for their error.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Just one question back. Why list the 2 years of grad school if it causes you problems?
    Just say you'd saved up some money working while in school and went traveling, or some such.

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