Parents think i'm extremely weird?
I have severe anxiety, OCD, depression and a physical health condition. All of this is really debilitating and makes it near impossible to do anything.
Everything I do takes 50x longer than the average person. With my OCD, I get stuck in loops that will last ages, with my anxiety, I constantly worry about everything little thing for 24 hours a day and I struggle to look my family members directly in the eyes because my heart starts racing
I don't talk to them how I want as I feel I'll come across as a fraud so I'll change the way I talk to be less articulate. In my head I'll think of smaller words to replace the larger ones that I'd prefer to use and then use those instead. I also have a really lazy voice at home as I'm wiped out.
To top that off, I have really unusual rituals because of my OCD especially at night. I'll constantly check locks and doors over and over as it takes ages to convince my brain that they're locked. I'll check floors and tables just in case I left something on them that belongs to me. I have to go upstairs, downstairs, different rooms right before I go to sleep and it's absolutely exhausting and tormenting.I try to do this in such a way that they don't realize but half of it they either see or hear and look at me like I'm insane. I'm an adult but because of my struggles, I'm currently stuck living in their home and at times, I'll hear them in the other room talking about me or they'll tell me how odd I am
They think I'm the strangest person and I know I am but I can't help how my brain operates. I don't want to be this way as it's embarrassing