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I tried to chop my penis off for an art project, unfortunately I couldn't finish the process as the pain was too great, later it just almost fell off, so I sowed it back on.
I once chopped my dick off with a machete, I then placed it in my mouth and tried to give it a blow job, that left me without any feeling, so i just went to the room and took my mothers needle and thread out and sewed it back on!
Then I passed out from all the pain! When I woke up my dick had Rasta colors to it, green, red and gold...sigh I should have taken that as a sign, but I ignored it, three days later I was taking a piss and when I finished I shook it off, before I realised what id done I flushed the chain and now me and my dick will never get reunited again!