Pick a hand

I said pick, not grab. You get nothing.

That's no hand

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You get: a 20kg bucket of mac & cheese

You missed out on: a gross infection from after a dog bit your hand

You get: the constant feeling like you didn't wipe properly

You missed: The Great Depression

You get: a haunted 1st generation iPod Touch

You missed: a non-haunted Microsoft Zune

You get: water tastes like whatever beverage you want just by thinking about it. If you think of alcohol while drinking water, it still has intoxicating effects without the damage to your liver

You missed: unlimited attempts at taking the SAT

You get: your dream man or woman falls madly in love with you, but you're not allowed to call them by any pet names or else that love turns to bloodlust

You missed: developing the strength of 10,000 Dwayne Johnsons

Sugma

You get: the ability to read the mind of one person somewhere on the planet. Unless and until they think it to themselves, you don't know who this person is or where they are. You can turn this on and off

You missed: some unoriginal Batman joke about your username that you've probably heard before

You get: a grenade along with a written pardon from the president himself excusing you from whatever crime you commit with the grenade

You missed: becoming instantly fluent in Tagalog

You get: a VHS copy of Hook starring Robin Williams

You missed: being unable to hold a regular conversation without using the phrase "but and then" before every sentence

You get: a pitch-black Bombay cat who fetches you little gifts in exchange for cuddles. These gifts range from typical cat gifts (dead birds, mice, etc.) to the titles and keys of luxury cars

You missed: eating the world's first and only known perfectly rolled burrito

You get: every time you jump, hop, fall, or otherwise enter a state where your entire body is suspended in the air, the speed of your descent back to the ground is increased by 10cm/second. This can potentially progress up to terminal velocity

You missed out on: Tweeting a hilarious Judeo-Christian joke that is both so funny and wholesome that it ends all conflict in the Middle East and causes the formation of a coalition promoting peace and unity between Muslims, Jews, and Christians while Hinduism is demoted from a religion to a club

You get: the truth of how the universe came into being

You lose: all control of your bowels any time you see the color blue

You get: a first-edition copy of Dianetics signed by L. Ron Hubbard himself

You miss: a great opportunity to save big! 5 wings for $9.95 at Buffalo Wild Wings (only at participating locations; not available in Alaska or Hawaii)

// left = 0
// right = 1

if (user.response !== 0 && user.response !== 1) {
return 'Please choose a boolean value. Geez.';
}

You lose: your left hand

You get: a second right hand on your left stump. This hand whispers secrets from the future when you suck on the fingers. You don't have control over it

You get: a room that grants you the ability to conjure up whatever you want while you're in there just by thinking about it

You also get: a really annoying person in the room who isn't allowed to leave and loudly questions every single item you conjure up

You get: some of the sickest drift racing skills the streets have ever seen

You miss: your firstborn child's birth (because you were doing some sweet drifting on the way to the hospital and lost track of time)

You get: the entire Florida panhandle to yourself

You miss: literally the most important news of your entire life and it can't be repeated by anyone

You win: permanent satisfaction with your physical appearance

You lose: others' satisfaction with your physical appearance. Everyone who sees you now sees you as a different race, and it's always an offensive negative stereotype of that race

You get: a real life genie. Not one who corrupts your wishes either

You miss: the chance to make a difference in a loved one's life

Vaas suck on my finger I promise it will pay off