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I feel like I will become a person with a psychological problem of without having a gf.
I think I am in a psychological problem/pain/disease that I don't know what its name is
Well if you think that you need a girlfriend to not become a psycho then you're already one, my dude.
i dont know, maybe I am a psycho
but what I meant is I can't open up my mind to anyone.
even the people I believed will hear my feelings / thoughts / even regular talks
didn't care about me.
sometimes I don't even want to hear reply from them, but somebody to hear something from me
[BPD] 😫 I found every single symptoms in me, but I'm scared of going to a psychologist, because I don't want my parents/friends/anyone about it and wierd things happend to me. they won't see me the same way, if they know about these.
does it really require treatment to cure it?
I like that you're using your BPD as an excuse to not go to a psychologist.
No, Borderliners can never be cured. It's a personality disorder. All therapy/medication can do is potentially lower symptoms.
Once you get assessed for it, people will have reasons and explanations for why you are the way you are which will help them.
Now your responsibility is to do the right thing and keep the world safe by staying single and knowing that ALL Borderliners behave the way you do. All of them.
I've been single my whole life and you can definitely have a fulfilling life still. It may not be entirely the same but if you're feeling lonely consider getting a pet (of course one you can take good care of). If you can have human friends that aren't toxic you should. If its for sex then you can just masturbate and don't obsess over whether real sex would be better. Make sure you have hobbies and goals unrelated to relationships/sex.
And for increasing your chances: remember if you turn to hate on the gender you cant have sex with, or think you are entitled to it, thats gonna ruin your chances for sure and with good reason. Making sure your hygiene is good is a bare minimum, and getting in shape can help (but not strictly needed). You will need to actually meet people in order for something to happen (that may get easier when the whole covid thing calms down). Im not an expert of the social aspect but I can tell the first step is to see the other person as a person you actually want to know and care about (as opposed to an "object"), and generally not be an asshole. Having charisma helps but I cant tell you how to build that.