Reconciliation after divorce

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11 Comments

My parents divorced less than 3 years ago after several years of constant arguing and physical fights. My mom was by far the more physically violent one in the relationship. My dad couldn't stand it anymore one day and moved out, and that was that.
Since the divorce my mom has gone to rather intensive therapy and things like that, and she feels she has matured and wants to reconcile with my dad. My mom always tells me to talk good about her around my dad, to somehow sway him into forgiving her. My dad however wants nothing to do with her. I always hold back from talking about my mom around him as well because it puts him in a bad mood.
Don't really know what to do

Voting Results
20% Normal
Based on 10 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • charli.m
    4 years ago

    If your mother had actually matured and gained insight from her therapy, she wouldn't be a manipulative bitch using you as a pawn. Mature adults don't use their kids.

    I'm sorry you have to be stuck in the middle of this, it must be awful.

    Has she ever been abusive to you? Do you live with her? Are you safe?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      She treats me very well. I live with her, yeah. But I don't like being between my parents certainly

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      • charli.m
        4 years ago

        Ok. That's something at least, I guess.

        How does/would she react if you told her you don't want to do what she asks?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          I've expressed that I don't want to try to say those things to my dad for her. She doesn't react extremely, but she does get disappointed.

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          • charli.m
            4 years ago

            That's still shitty to put it back on you. It's not your job to fix what she broke.

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  • Tealights
    4 years ago

    Always remember that it's none of your business. Yes, they are your parents, but it's not your relationship to fix. You're just the fruit of their union, you weren't there when they first met and more, so you can't possibly know all the details and how deep this all goes. With that said, it's perfectly fine if you choose to do nothing and focus on what's important, like bonding with your dad, school, and what not; you'll save a lot of time and energy.

    As for your mom, I know the feeling. I helped my dad get back together with my mom once when I was a teenager, they end up breaking up again of course. Helping your mom isn't worth the mental torment. If your dad truly still had feelings, he'll contact her when he's ready, your mom just needs to be patient or move on.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Hmm. I married the nicest, kindest smartest most beautiful woman in the world.
    ...but she turned out to be poop.
    I know, I’ll marry her AGAIN!

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  • Ecchiprepei
    4 years ago

    Your parents are grown ups, do not get involved in their affairs. Also your mom sounds really manipulative

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    If it were me in your shoes I wouldn't get involved in any of this mess. Your father has every right to not want to reconcile with your abusive mother. I think it's very selfish of her to attempt to use you as a pawn. Don't allow her to manipulate you. If your mother wants to communicate with your father then she needs to pick up the phone, and call him.

    I personally think what your mom ought to do is to write a letter to him to make amends, and then just let him be.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    Do nothing.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    4 years ago

    No offense, but just because she's your mom doesn't mean you owe her that. That's their problem, not yours. From what you describe, your father seems like he's in a much better place without her anyway.

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