Reserved/anxious around my family but happy/confident with friends?

88% Normal
4 Comments

I was never abused by my parents but they have always been very critical and my dad has always been quick to anger and was never really the easiest guy to open up to about things. I've also never really seen my parents show any affection towards each other and ever since I could remember they've always argued and still do. They've told me on numerous occasions that if it wasn't for particular circumstances that they'd 100% get a divorce. When I was in grade 6 (I'm 21 now) my dad got really sick and in 2013 he was administered into the hospital and got diagnosed with spinal cancer, an auto-immune disorder, some skin disease and diabetes and even though he survived from all that (just barely) he is still feeling the effects of it all (walking is not as easy, is not as strong as he used to be and is partially blind). He came out of his sickness a better man and is now a lot more tolerant, patient and much easier to open up to, however I still find it weird getting personal with him and discussing certain topic with him. The first time he said he loved me was when I was 17 or 18 and I'm pretty sure that was the first time he hugged me too. Im not complaining, just giving backstory :)

Voting Results
88% Normal
Based on 8 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    Your folks don't sound very normal to me. It's not normal for a married couple to never show affection toward each other, nor is it normal for a couple to never say, "I love you to their children". It sounds to me like your parents are really uptight, and like they came from dysfunctional families with parents who were also very critical, and uptight.

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    • Jonnyb123
      3 years ago

      My dad is actually the one that didn't say I love you until I was 18. My mom says she loves me all the time. Just wanted to clear that up. My dad did grow up in a pretty emotionally and mentally abusive household while my mom grew up the opposite. I love my parents and I totally understand that I have it much better than some other people (as many people are orphans or grew up without a dad) but I do recognize that my upbringing is... atypical when compared to a lot of other people I know.

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  • Jonnyb123
    3 years ago

    But it's so weird that the difference is so drastic.

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  • bbrown95
    3 years ago

    Normal. If your family have always been critical and not very open about much, it's only natural you'd feel more reserved and anxious around them.

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