Royal ass wiper of the queen

67% Normal
11 Comments

I read somewhere that the queen of the UK has a royal ass wiper and his whole life commitment is dedicated to cleaning her asshole after she chucks a deuce. This give me a genius idea...

What if you used this on your enemies? For example a letter sent to hitler entitled "surrender now or your whole bloodline will be royal ass wipers of the queen." Then you literally have hitler and then hitlers descendents for thousands of years wiping your ass.

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67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    Disabled people and people with certain injuries and illnesses commonly have someone else clean themselves up.

    It's an important job.

    The long term disabled may well have a designated employee with backups for this needed duty.

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    • 1WeirdGuy
      2 years ago

      But the funny part is even if the kings and queens werent yet disabled they had people that felt honored to do this task. Its just funny how britains class system works.

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    What the actual hell am I reading?

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  • litelander8
    2 years ago

    Great read. Thanks!

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  • SkullsNRoses
    2 years ago

    I think you’re referring to the “First Lady of the Bedchamber” or “Groom of the Stool” for kings, a courtier responsible for assisting the monarch in their toiletting needs. However this position was abolished in 1901 and to my knowledge there’s no evidence that wiping the monarch’s anus was ever an official duty.

    It was actually a respected position in court due to the intimate access to the monarch and noblemen would want their sons to be selected as Groom of the Stool.

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    • SmokesTheScrapper
      2 years ago

      Very interesting, also sounds logical, but somehow I can't take it seriously.
      Did one then apply to wipe ass? Say, a big landowner? "Hello, good sir, I am a nobleman and would like to wipe your ass. That would be an incredible honour for me. Also my son is in for it too"

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      • SkullsNRoses
        2 years ago

        It was well paid and meant you wielded a lot of influence in court, 1700s prime minister John Stuart was even a former Groom of the Stool.

        Also the monarch should first be addressed as Your Majesty then “sir” or “mam”, mind your royal manners if you wish to keep your head...

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        • SmokesTheScrapper
          2 years ago

          Ah, right, sorry, I forgot. I've been living somewhere else for a very long time, say a majority of my life, and all they ever do here is shake their heads and make stupid comments about all the heads of state and everyone who's significant in some way. So no respect is paid at all. I also get rid of my head elsewhere. But thank you for the information.

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        2 years ago

        Imagine if youre in england and you see a very wealthy man and you ask how he got his money. He says some shit like "my family comes from the duke of cambridge we fought for the queen in the galiac wars. The queen says my family was the noblest of families and blessed us with the honor of being royal servants to her behyness"

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        • SkullsNRoses
          2 years ago

          I’m going to take a wild guess that you haven’t visited these shores...

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          • 1WeirdGuy
            2 years ago

            Have family there but never been. I talk to a few brits daily on discord they tell me about how the class systems are with the accents and whatnot. God save the queen.

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