Shit your pants as an adult

67% Normal
28 Comments

I'm in a skills building class for the manufacturing industry run by a local college...

Be me, 25 year old bro

In my class a middle aged woman who is not so good on computers is taking a test for a certification related to manufacturing...

I help her with the exam and how to use the computers

She took a liking to me and wanted to buy me lunch for helping her. I tell her no at first then give in (she was very persistent) she mentioned jerk chicken. Agree to get it. Eat it, it was very good. Stomach feels fine all day,next morning comes.

Wake up consume big bowl of shredded and huge cup of coffee. Look at the time go to leave to catch the city bus.

I live on the outskirts of my city so the bus stop is like 10 minuets from my house. Begin to walk stomach starts to gurgle. Oh Shit!!(No pun intended) continue walking while squeezing my schphincter scissors tight. Keep going hoping to make the bus or I'll be late plus siting will keep the chocolate explosion of jerk ass cream in my bum bum.

Take 10 steps, "oh no" stream of Niagara falls size shit squirts out mi asshole.

Stop in tracks... Damn

Walk back home walk in door clean up and try to forget I just shit my pants at 25...

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 15 votes (10 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 28 )
  • CozmoWank
    5 years ago

    What the fuck does this have to do with what you're studying, a woman in your class, her age, her skills on a computer, her persistence, or the manufacturing industry? Although you did manufacture a squirt load of shit so I'll give you that one.

    And like Jen said, shit happens.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
      -
    • Scrubxxx
      5 years ago

      Because we ate jerk chicken pretty sure that shit made me shit

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Alvex
        5 years ago

        The jerk chicken shits! 😂😂

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
    • nikkiclaire
      5 years ago

      Thank you. I mean, does this idiot think it's a creative writing site or what?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Alvex
        5 years ago

        It's this person's topic, it's made me laugh 😂

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
      • factcheck
        5 years ago

        The rudeness of unnecessarily calling this person an idiot aside, I think that’s exactly what it is. It’s a creative writing exercise. I don’t think anybody who this actually happened to would write it like this.

        It seems very similar to the “is it normal to bubble?” post that’s on the front page.

        Then again, this site isn’t really used as it’s intended in most cases, so why not have some fun with it. It’s better than all the right wingers spewing their hatred over everything that’s not straight white Christian male centric.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • leggs91200
          5 years ago

          I think we have not always agreed in the past. But for the comment
          "It’s better than all the right wingers spewing their hatred over everything that’s not straight white Christian male centric"

          Might I say, thank You.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
        • nikkiclaire
          5 years ago

          You're right. I was rude. I will try to be more friendly to the shit fetish people.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
        • Scrubxxx
          5 years ago

          I just wanted to make it interesting and a good read instead some boring ass he Ric shit it's was a real story tho

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • factcheck
            5 years ago

            If it is real, all three things you ate and drank beforehand seem to be the perfect recipe for causing that.

            Like somebody else said, shit happens.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            1
            1
      • CozmoWank
        5 years ago

        I'm a fan of brevity.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • nikkiclaire
          5 years ago

          Yazzz

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
      • leggs91200
        5 years ago

        Well I do not know about you and Cosmo but I am eagerly awaiting the next exciting chapter!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Alvex
          5 years ago

          Next chapter, "Muddy waters".

          Will there be another chapter after that? it "depends".

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • leggs91200
            5 years ago

            Are you giving me "Assurance" it might "prevail"?

            Sounds good :)

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • charli.m
    5 years ago

    You are bad and you should feel bad.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • raisinbran
    5 years ago

    Bro, at least it didn't happen while you were doing squats in the gym.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Eat some Indian food, and see what happens next.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • SmokeEverything
    5 years ago

    Why don't you just shit in a bucket or somebody's bushes? The bus service in your area must be terrible if you'd rather shit your pants than catch the next bus.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    Shit happens!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Alvex
      5 years ago

      😂

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
    • fireinthetacobell
      5 years ago

      shit crappin's

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    No, no, I never thought it was a fart and shit myself.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Ummitsstillme
    5 years ago

    Big bowl of shredded what? Her jerk didn't make you release your lilly white ass, but the scotch bonets did indeed bring the fire!!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • bigbudchonga
    5 years ago

    Dude I pointed my arse at my friend, the other day, to fart on him, and I ended up shitting myself. It happens bro, just try and see it for the funny thing it is. How long did it take you to walk back btw?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • leggs91200
      5 years ago

      That was "instant karma" which is the best kind since we learn our lesson for sure ;)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • bigbudchonga
        5 years ago

        Ye it was lol

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Protagoras
    5 years ago

    Eh, I'm 28 and this happened to me last weekend. I ate some wings and decided to walk around to get some fresh air, but my stomach started gurgling in pain. I walked back to my car and tried to get home as soon as possible. By the time I pull up to my apartment complex I'm in a lot of pain, I run to my door but as soon as I put the key in I start to feel it come out into my boxer briefs. I rush to the bathroom, luckily I only got a little bit in my boxer briefs and none on my jeans. I think the best route for the both of us is to just use whatever public restroom is available, worst case go in the bushes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0