Should i drop out of college?
My situation is somewhat unusual, so hear me out.
I've been attending college for the last six months and I don't like it. I can't really say that I totally hate it: I actually enjoy aspects of all of my classes and last semester, I got mostly As and Bs, so it's not because I'm a terrible student. I really liked the first month of college, but then the novelty of being away from home wore off, my classes got harder, the weather got colder, and I drifted away from all the friends I had made during the first month once I realized how unlike me most of my fellow students are. The fact that I never drink or have sex with strangers largely excludes me from college social life, so I spend most of my time in my room watching Netflix and writing. Because of all this isolation and confusion, I developed severe depression, not leaving my room for days at a time.
But my depression is better now because I know what I want to do with my life. I want to be a film director. I know it's not the most practical career choice, but I'm terrible at anything involving numbers and equations, so for me, there is no practical career choice. I love film: watching movies, writing movies, reading about movies, and making movies is the only thing that gives my life meaning. For the first time in my life, I believe in myself. I know that I can be a great director. One of the best things about being a director is that you don't need a college degree: only talent and experience. In fact, college would only be a distraction, taking away time and energy that I could put into my directing career. As a result, I want to drop out of college to pursue filmmaking full time.
Unfortunately, my parents aren't fond of my idea. They think it's great that I want to be a director, but even though I told them repeatedly that you don't need a degree for it, they want me to go to college for three more years and graduate. I came up with the idea of taking a gap year as a compromise with the idea that if I proved my talent and commitment to directing, they would let me drop out permanently and if I failed and did nothing, I would have to go back to college. They thought this was a good idea, but they said I could only take a gap year a year from now and not starting at the end of this semester like I had planned. This seemed fair enough at the time, but the more I think about it, the more the idea of going to college for another year seriously depresses me.
In fact, the only reason why I haven't already dropped out is that I have such a great scholarship that I pay about 1/10th of what the average college student pays each semester. It's still expensive, but it's a once in a lifetime deal. My parents worked very hard to get me into college and are thrilled by how cheap it is, so I'd feel extremely guilty about throwing it all away. But my heart is not in college: nearly everything I do that's school-related seems pointless. I can't transfer to a film school, either because I'd lose my scholarship: my parents would rather have me drop out than transfer.
I just know the real world would be a better fit for me than college. I'm a very unusual 18 year-old. I have no desire to drink until I'm 21 and after that, I'll only ever drink in moderation. I wouldn't really want to have sex unless I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone I love. I don't like parties unless they're small, low-key, and free of any really dangerous activities. As a college student, I'm a weirdo, but as a working adult, I'd be a model citizen. Every aspect of college is seeming more and more absurd to me every day. If I left college, I would be totally 100% committed to filmmaking every day: it wouldn't even feel like work because I love it so much. But for someone in my situation, the thought of leaving college is just as unfathomable as the thought of staying. What should I do?
Stay in College | 12 | |
Take a Gap Year a Year from Now | 8 | |
Take a Gap Year Now | 8 | |
Drop Out of College | 3 |