Sister won't talk to me and idk what to do

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30 Comments

my 17 yr old sister wont talk to me and its been 3 months. I'm 19. Ive tried talking to her, maybe being a little to needy but ive just been asking what i did wrong and what i can do to fix it. shes been rude and ignored me. she wants to spend christmas apart from me, and she spent thanksgiving at my moms when i was at my dads. when we were little i was kinda mean to her, but what sisters arent? she was mean back..
i wrote her a letter (my mom said its what i should do) and stick it under her door for her to read instead of me talking to her.. my mom said all i have to do is give her her space and ignore her back. Im really sad about this and i need some more imput..

another reason i know shes mad at me is bc of the guy im dating. she hates him and has been giving me advice and helping me through the hard times i went through with him.. and i guess shes upset im still w him and wants nothing to do w me or him bc i have "negative energy".. idk
advice?

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Based on 12 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • brutus
    5 years ago

    Nothing you can do about it, its her decision, wait it out.

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  • chuy
    5 years ago

    Her lose

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  • trexagireve
    5 years ago

    Maybe she is in love with that guy and she hates you that you had him first... Maybe if you share him with her willb make her feel better!! 😃😃

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    I don't blame her. My sister is always talking about this idiot she's obsessed with, and I ignored her the last two times she called me, because I'm tired of her wasting my time with her bullshit. My younger sister drains me, and wastes my time. My sister is always constantly talking about herself as well, so yeah I have better shit to do with my time, like lie around with my cat, and just chill.

    If you are having constant drama, and issues with your guy then your sister has a right to be tired of hearing about your personal business.

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    • Ellenna
      5 years ago

      Maybe, but it's very childish of the sister to not be clear with OP about why she's not talking to her. Personally I find the not talking game very manipulative, because it's letting someone know you're shitty with them but not having the guts to say why. I used to be married to someone like that, YUK.

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        I dunno, I suppose we couldn't really know unless we were privy to their conversations. I have told my sister before that I don't care to talk about certain things, and then she just gets very angry with me about the whole thing. It's easier for me to just not take her calls if I'm relaxing, and have nothing to do, because she will gladly gobble up all of my time, and then act like I keep her on the phone for hours.

        My younger sister does this one particularly aggravating and probably manipulative trick where she will say she has to go, I will say okay, bye, and then she will say, "and one more thing...", then just keeps going on and on with her obsessive talk about whatever. When I say I have to go it's not uncommon for her to get quite angry, if I tell her I have another call coming in she gets very jealous, and demands to know who it is. My sister usually says she has to go whenever I try to talk about myself, my feelings, or what I'm going through in life. Conversations with my younger sister are oftentimes more of a marathon down a one way street than a volley which is what I prefer. It's a horribly exasperating experience.

        Despite how much I complain about my sister I do love her, but we are very much opposites in certain ways. I don't know what it's like for OP. I hope that things will improve for her since she wrote her sister that a note. I honestly prefer to communicate with my sister via text than say phone.

        Choosing to not communicate with someone isn't always about a lack of guts, manipulation, or even childishness. Sometimes people just need to detach, because the two persons are incapable of having a civil conversation without fighting. My abusive ex-boyfriend has tried to contact me a few times during the course of the past year, but I chose to go no contact, for the sake of my own personal serenity.

        I'm sorry that you're ex-husband was the sort of person who was a poor communicator. I was married to someone like that for almost seven years. Now I just prefer to be solitary.

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        • sissycakes
          5 years ago

          it is good that your sister confides in you. also, not everyone has a ton of friends. be glad that your sister views you as a friend. but i do get it. i wish people would listen to me as well, but noone is interested in what i have to say.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Well, what kind of stuff are you trying to tell them?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              we’re talking again. she took my iphone charger and portable and i asked her where it was and how i knew she took it, she yelled at me and called me an immature 2 year old bitch. just because i asked her to give it back after she took it and i found it in her car

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        • Ellenna
          5 years ago

          He was a very good communicator when he wanted to be, but was also capable of not speaking to me for days and not telling me why. If friends or family dropped in he'd speak to me normally and then revert to silence when they left.

          Anyway, he became an ex-husband back in the 70's and then he became a dead ex-husband, but I did work out in retrospect how manipulative that sort of behavior is and I have called people out on it, on the basis that if they're shitty with me tell me what it is or stay away from me.

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            That sounds excruciating. I think deliberately not talking to someone can be a passive-aggressive form of manipulation.

            My sister has gotten mad at me, and threatened to stop talking to me, but the irony is that it wouldn't be that bad if she stopped talking to me for a while. I have on occasion asked her if it was a threat or a promise.

            My most recent ex-boyfriend really loved to to communicate, but I think that's because he was a narcissist who loved to hear himself talk. When he would get mad he would just yell, and scream like nobody's business it was crazy. He would also act very nice around other people, and only show his abusive side when we were alone. One of the first things I heard from one of the neighbors who came over to make sure everything was okay after the police left was, "but, he doesn't seem like the abusive type". He was also very verbally abusive towards his mother, but I think she thought it was normal. He might have even learned his behavior from her, because she was so furious with me the day he got arrested... but he shouldn't have put his hands on me! Before his arrest she so was so sugary sweet to me, it was unreal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      i don’t even want to talk to her about him. i just wanna talk to her, hangout and do sister stuff

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        Maybe she needs a break. I think the more you bother her about it the more she will want to avoid you.

        What is sister stuff?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          hang, shop, talk

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          • RoseIsabella
            5 years ago

            Yeah, that's pretty normal standard stuff. What is she into nowadays?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              5 years ago

              hanging with her friends and bf. weed. shes sad all the time

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    • nikkiclaire
      5 years ago

      I would have said personal shit but yep. Listen to our southern gal.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        5 years ago

        wait what?

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        • nikkiclaire
          5 years ago

          Roseissabella she knows all that's my internet auntie

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    • IrishPotato
      5 years ago

      Do you want to see my cat?

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      • RoseIsabella
        5 years ago

        What kinda cat do you have?

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