Snooker thoughts

Everytime I play snooker with my better-looking friend, he always wins. We have our girlfriends with us and his girlfriend looks like a model and my girlfriend looks like Jo Brand. He beats me at snooker every time. We played snooker yesterday and as he was down taking his shot, I tried to make him miss the ball by pulling my pants down and placing my penis on the snooker table. My friend didn't miss his shot. He calmly got his penis out and it was three-times bigger! My girlfriend said: "Wow that's the biggest I've ever seen!!" Feeling like a loser, I ran out of the room in a huff. Why is life so unfair?