Taking a dump in your hand and placing your shit in the toilet

I'm a woman with a problem. At first it will no doubt be hard to believe, but nonetheless I have to come clean.

Due to a strong dislike of any splashing water, whilst on the toilet I will simply take a dump into my hand and then gently place it in the water below. Afterward I will thoroughly wash my hands with soap, and occasionally some alcohol.

This habit has, as you could imagine, been at the center of some amusing stories, such as the time when I went to the trouble of shitting in my own hand only to find out that the toilet was not functional. In a fit of frustration I then opened the window and threw the shit outside at the cats. Another more alarming account was when I was preparing to finish my morning ritual when I felt a strong tickle on my brow. Instinctively I swatted at it with my hand, smearing shit along my face and falling from the toilet to the floor. My ensuing reaction attracted the attention of my sister who, growing concerned, opened the bathroom door to find me naked from the waist down, shit on my hand and face, cursing like a sailor. She stood in stunned silence until I finally threatened to slap her across the face with my shitty hand if she didn't close the door.

I know this is a distasteful habit but I just really don't want the water to splash. I've tried to wrap the shit in some TP or paper towels and then throw it in the trash, but needless to say that could get expensive. I've even considered converting to Islam as they already use their hand as toilet paper, which is essentially the same thing as what I'm doing now.