That i manipulated my own self-esteem to see what is like
This can sound a bit crazy but here we go (don't do this). I had a regular self-esteem and I realized that a bunch of people talked trash about themselves, I couldn't understand how would someone hate themselves, so I decided to say bad things about me because I didn't wanted to look more confident then I should, and I also wanted to understand more what is like to have a low self-esteem.
It took a year but I got a low self-esteem esteem and I couldn't like myself even if I tried, this just made me a sad person. Then after sometime struggling going back to normal I got my regular self-esteem back a few years ago.