The feeling of scissors on my skin makes me feel alive
I don't do it a lot, but sometimes when I'm feeling completely lost I cut myself. Last night I just felt so alone and couldn't figure out what I wanted or what would make me feel better, and so I cut. I know it's stupid, but it makes me feel like I'm worth something. I look at the cuts and watch them fill up with blood and know that I'm strong, because I can endure the pain and keep going even though it hurts. Cutting is like pressing a reset button for me: I close my eyes and hold my breath as I make the incision, and it hurts, but it makes me feel better, and when I'm done I feel like I can breathe again for the first tie in a long time. I know it's not healthy, but what are your thoughts?