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The ultimate dream: skating down the sidewalk with a herd of cats!!

69% Normal

I'd like to dress up super-duper with shorty shorts, a cut-off shirt, all matching sweatbands and a pair of those huge old fashioned headphones. Striped socks up to my knees. Fab roller skates.

Running ahead of me is a herd of cats on leashes. Like 15 cats.

How fucking cool would THAT be??

I can hear Carrie's mom....'They're all gonna laugh at you!!'....but I don't care. Who was laughing when Carrie stabbed the shit outta her after the prom?? Huh?? Laugh all you want....

IIN?

Voting Results

69% Normal

Based on 55 votes (38 yes)

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Comments ( 35 )

[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Dogs walk infront of you on leashes well but.......

Huge hole in that plan is that the cats will just stand there and you will be dragging 15 cats along the ground meowing and squealing as their fur scrapes off on the pavement.

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- TerryVie
  
  11 years ago
  
  well, not exactly, you could be "cruel" and drag a tail of tin cans on a rope behind you. The sound will make the cats run...only they'll be afraid, so i'd personally get angry on anyone doing this longer than a few seconds :P
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    They will all run in seperate directions!
    
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    - TerryVie
      
      11 years ago
      
      ah, they'll run exactly away from the cans. So use two sticks extending diagonally to the backs, so they hear it from behind both on the right and the left side. They'll cuddle up in the middle and run over each other in an attempt to go straight forward.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        "So use two sticks extending diagonally to the backs, so they hear it from behind both on the right and the left side."
        
        That's a good idea, but they may still run in crazy different directions regardless....this must be tested.
        
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- VioletTrees
  
  11 years ago
  
  I think there are some breeds of cats that will let you put them on a leash like a dog, but I'm not convinced that you could do it with a whole group of them, either.
  
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- dirtybirdy
  
  11 years ago
  
  Must you shit on this parade? Just go with the dream, OK man.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    I never said he shouldn't do it anyway.
    
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    - dirtybirdy
      
      11 years ago
      
      OK fine then. Join us, wont you?
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        All that kitten blood isn't really my thing.
        
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        dirtybirdy
        
        11 years ago
        
        Whatever then, pussy
        
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Cuntsiclestick

11 years ago

Do it!

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Bonnabell

11 years ago

Cats? OO so odd.

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Darkfallenangel9377

11 years ago

i am down haha

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Eagul

11 years ago

You should do Anime. They said we'd never walk on the moon and so many other things and I think YOUR dream is great. What a fantastic imagination.

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alv1592

11 years ago

Do it and put it on YouTube :)

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FruityGoofyFaggot

11 years ago

My dream is to run around in pink spandex. Go for it, man.

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Avant-Garde

11 years ago

That would be awesome!
My anime eyes are sparkling as I type this:)

However, to get cats to walk on leashes it would be best to use certain breeds:
http://www.catster.com/cat-breeds/five-cat-breeds-that-make-excellent-travel-companions

The Maine Coon and Siberian would also be good for this. Don't forget the catnip:3

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Shackleford96

11 years ago

I am having a very hard time not laughing at my work right now after reading this XD

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Captain_Kegstand

11 years ago

I will be right behind you with my video camera, catching all of the awesomeness!

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- Avant-Garde
  
  11 years ago
  
  It could be the greatest youtube video ever.
  The mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes:')
  
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  - Captain_Kegstand
    
    11 years ago
    
    Are these "happy tears" or "worried about the future of our generation tears"?
    
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howaminotmyself

11 years ago

I'm impressed. Herding cats is quite difficult.

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Redcoats

11 years ago

I had a thought earlier, you should roller blade instead (:

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jucedaguy

11 years ago

I wouldn't do it in anything less than my faux Fox skin pimp coat.

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Justsomejerk

11 years ago

I tried to harness the power of cats as a child. I tied rope to one and a piece of wood to the rope to hold the second cat in parallel so they would run in the same direction. As I was trying to connect the second cat, #1 struggled loose and ran off with the harness under and over cars with the wooden pieces bashing and denting them as it went.

Dream unrealised.

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Redcoats

11 years ago

Haha you have an awesome dream

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dappled

11 years ago

Until I read your story, I never realised this is also my dream. It spoke to something deep inside me.

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GuessWho

11 years ago

That was hilarious to read and it'd be pure Awesome to watch.
If you ever do it, please post pics. I'd really like to see that.

I've seen people skating with a dog, but never with cats.
You'd probably have better results with a trained cheetah, but I'd really like to see it done with domestic cats.

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TerryVie

11 years ago

it's gonna be fabulous!

Although my dream is based on Norse Mythology...
The goddess Freya supposedly had a Chariot drawn bei European Cats.

I would love to stand in a light carbon chariot with 30 cats attached to it and a long stick with fresh meat in my hand to guide them, and "race" my chariot through town(well, the one or two streets before they lose interest in the meat and it turns into a fighting ball of fur).

Alas, i fear my dream shan't come true.
Live the vision, man, live the vision.

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- Mmmpfh
  
  11 years ago
  
  To stop the cats from defecating on the road you'll have to make them wear nappies. Laws are laws after all. And a person commanding 30 cats all wearing nappies is a badass mofo you're gonna want to steer clear from.
  
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dirtybirdy

11 years ago

THAT is fantastic. I wanna come! I'd like to dress up like a skanky roller derby ballerina and put my hair in pig tails and attach bubble wands to my glittering skates :) we can laugh together at all the losers walking in their dreary ensembles, catless

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  LOVE the bubble idea!! I can supply 3 cats, how many do you have?
  
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  - dirtybirdy
    
    11 years ago
    
    Personally, I've got one, but i can get my hands on a whole feral colony. I've got connections.
    
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