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If you give to people, why should you just give without getting anything back? People just can't take things from you, and not repay you back. I think giving to somebody without getting anything in turn, is just pointless. And not only that, it's selfish. It's a waste of time. Can't just take something from someone, and not give anything back.
Doesn't matter what it is. If you give something, the person needs to give something back in return.
Is English your secound language? Because I don't think you're understanding the proper use or definition of the word,
"give" - to freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone);
'Freely' being the key word here!
If you think something is owed, needs repayment, or should bring a return it is not giving. Call it a sale, trade, loan, borrow, what ever you want but it is not a gift or give.
I will admit there are certain times people "give" or "gift" something and expect a return, but that comes from tradition or just the wording. Such as we trade presents (gifts) at Christmas time or birthdays.
Maybe that's your understanding of give, but that's not the true use of the word give.
I mean you shouldn't be a martyr but like there also people who do things expecting a return without asking that person if they agree to the contract. If you loan a girl your sweater since she is cold, she is not obligated to bang you. Unless you specifically stated that deal before hand. I think we need balance. The other end of always giving gets you taken advantage of though
In that case, you're not really giving away your sweater. It's just being used for a minute.
Yes, but the idea is you did a nice gesture and so you are morally entitled to sex. Even if the person accepting said sweater didn't understand this. So like if you are going to be nice to someone do it out of the kindness of your heart. However, dont be so giving that people take advantage of your kindness.
Selfishness is thinking it's your God-given right to get something in return.
If I give a pound to a homeless guy I'm doing it to show him some love which is sadly lacking in his life, but I don't expect a homeless guy to give me back a pound because he's homeless.
Also, if you're genuinely that religious that you believe that God gave you the right to expect something back after doling something out, what are you giving back to God? And if you're an Atheist, where does such a right come from?
God has nothing to do with this. And it's selfish to take something from someone, and not give something in return.
It feels good when you help someone without expecting anything in return
Only give what you're willing to lose. You can't give while expecting something specific back or you'll constantly be disappointed and you can't take without giving without getting cut off so learn your balance.
That's my point. Why do people give, when they don't get anything back in return? It's pointless.
"Only give what you're willing to lose" means something different for everyone. You might see someone being bled dry from your perspective but to them, it's perfectly acceptable. Or maybe you just can't see what they're getting back. Some people want 10x their "investment" whereas some people will give 10x without needing much or anything back.
Nah. If you expect to get something in return for giving something, then that needs to be clearly expressed and agreed to beforehand. Without that agreement, you have no right to expect anything in return.
Yes, you do have a right. That should be something that you shouldn't have to tell someone. Somebody should give back, without being asked.
Nah. If you don’t explicitly tell somebody you expect something in return beforehand, they have no obligation whatsoever to do anything in return.
Yes, they do have an obligation. For example, if I let somebody borrow 15 dollars from me, something needs to be given back for that and that should be the thought that comes to mind when a person receives something. Somebody shouldn't have to be asked to pay in return.
You are both correct and wrong. You should give not expecting anything in return, but you should not take without returning.
Every single comment is telling you you're wrong, and every single one of your posts digs yourself deeper into your own ego. You can't argue with a brick wall.
Capitalism wins again.
I'm all for charity though. Do the good works for your community and your community will give you a decent place to live.
I can find a decent place to live without doing things for my goddamn community.
Yeah that's how it works. You serve your community the community serves you. There are no free lunches in life.
Want your community to look nice? Clean up trash. If people see you are trying to make your spot look nice they will try to make their area look nice.
Have you experienced a lot of instances in your life where you felt that you were being used, taken for granted, and or taken advantage of, OP?
Here we go. No, I have not. But if you give without getting anything back, then it makes it possible you will get taken advantage of. I just think to give without getting anything back for it, is pointless. It's like you just gave away something for no reason.
What about the practice of being charitable to those who are less fortunate?
If you want something back, then best not to give anything at all, since homeless people don't have anything to give..
I once bought a homeless couple dinner at a Del Taco in Las Vegas. We all ordered, and sat down together. I wasn't gonna give them any cash that they could waste on hard drugs, but I did at least buy them dinner.
A lot of people have been kind to me at various points in my life so I was glad to help them. I hope they pass it on, and help someone else someday.
With the mindset you have its best you simply don't give anything to anyone. Its actually kinda manipulative and dishonest to expect something back without clarifying to that person beforehand. And to a lot of people giving something without gaining on it is not "for no reason", helping others who need IS a valid reason on its own.
the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.
Or
behavior of an animal that benefits another at its own expense.
It's quite possibly an evolutionary trait. Even prehistoric humans have shown evidence of caring for others with no benefit, and even burden, to them. They would carry around their injured and disabled family members. Skeletons have even been found of people with congenital diseases who have lived several years because people loved and cared for them regardless.
If you lack that trait, that's unfortunate.
Has nothing to do with me lacking anything. Why would I help others, when i'm not getting anything back for it? What's unfortunate, is giving somebody something and not getting anything back in return.
Then you lack altruistic traits, which are very important traits to have. Human beings are social animals would never have made it as far as we did if we didn't care about each other, despite the misanthropy thrown around online. A major part of that is altruism. If you lack that, it's very sad or at worst, a sign of a personality disorder.
Having altruistic traits is not a requirement. We don't need it to survive. And i'm not obligated to caring about others. If I'm going to be nice enough to help somebody, I best get something back for it. And ma'am/Sir, just because you wanna play doctor, does not mean you are one so you can't diagnose me.
Yes you do lack something, you lack sympathy. And if you didn't, you would understand helping someone simply because they need the help and you care about their well being. Even if you do not directly get something in return. Why do you think other people donate to charities?
"Giving expecting no personal return is actually the foundation of one of the keys to real success in life".That's not how reality works."Those who give of themselves or of their resources freely usually find that they get back later a lot more than they "donated." That is often indirectly as other people will want to partner with someone with such a good character".
Not everybody is as lucky. There are many people that have received the opposite. And a lot of times the only reason people want to partner with these people, is because they are being given things without having to return the favor, it has nothing to do with having a good character. Not all the time, but most of the time. Regardless, still will always be pointless.
"However, you forget that the real concept is that the receiver does not owe for the gift. They just don't owe you".
Yes, they do. I don't give a damn what the concept is. The concept is BS.
"I learned this many years as a youth when people gave me (from a very poor family) certain things and provided other support".
Okay? Not everybody is as lucky as you. And what? Want a fucking trophy? I don't care about your life story.
"They told me that when I became more successful and had the opportunity that I had to assist someone else in a similar manner. And I did that".
Fuck what those people told you. It's all a fucking lie. And is this supposed to be some kind of goddamn life lesson? What you trying to do? Be the next Dhar Mann?
"It took many years, and sometimes even many decades before I was able to pay some of those items forward".
Good for you, buddy.
"But I have done so for everything".
Bravo!! Congratulations!!
"I also discovered that my purpose in life is to assist others to do better".
...and? Has nothing to do with me. I don't care lol.
"The payback you get when you really assist someone else achieve something huge for them is priceless, and worth all the time, effort, and resources of doing it - along with all the wasted time, efforts, and resources invested into other people who do not succeed in such achievement (most quite fairly quickly as they don't want to put fourth the efforts required to become more successful)".
Bullshit.
"So I reject your notion... Take care of other people - and other people will take care of you".
..okay? Reject my notion then, it isn't going to affect me in any way. And I don't need people to take care of me, I'm just fine. And it is not my job to take care of someone else. People can look out for themselves.
Giving expecting no personal return is actually the foundation of one of the keys to real success in life.
Those who give of themselves or of their resources freely usually find that they get back later a lot more than they "donated." That is often indirectly as other people will want to partner with someone with such a good character.
However, you forget that the real concept is that the receiver does not owe for the gift. They just don't owe you.
I learned this many years as a youth when people gave me (from a very poor family) certain things and provided other support.
They told me that when I became more successful and had the opportunity that I had to assist someone else in a similar manner. And I did that.
It took many years, and sometimes even many decades before I was able to pay some of those items forward.
But I have done so for everything.
I also discovered that my purpose in life is to assist others to do better.
The payback you get when you really assist someone else achieve something huge for them is priceless, and worth all the time, effort, and resources of doing it - along with all the wasted time, efforts, and resources invested into other people who do not succeed in such achievement (most quite fairly quickly as they don't want to put fourth the efforts required to become more successful).
So I reject your notion... Take care of other people - and other people will take care of you.
Depends in what setting you were giving something to them, what you actually did and what you expect back. You're not obligated to do things for other people, and people should show some gratitude when you do something for them. But at the same time if you expect a specific favor, gift, money or otherwise, they aren't obligated to do that unless you actually made the deal beforehand together. And the whole thing of expecting things in return naturally cannot be applied to actual charities, but a person who thinks like that would simply not give to them. I get the feeling you lack the sense of genuine caring for others.
Of course if you're a selfish human being it's normal to feel like you do.