The year is 2005

The year is 2005. You are an 11 year-old boy named Cody (possibly a "Brandon" or even a "Zack") and you live with your mother and father in a nice suburb in Missouri. You have a penchant for wearing silk shirts with flaming dragons and motorcycles on them, your hair is typically worn kind of spiky, and you are not often seen without your Oakley's. You own several gaming consoles, and you enjoy playing racing games, especially anything "Need for Speed" related, but you enjoy playing ATV Offroad Fury 2 as well. You often scream at your mother to make you some pizza bites, but you'll settle for a plain double cheeseburger from Burger King with only ketchup as a condiment. Most of your friends can't stand you, as you have a tendency to smack the controllers out of their hands whenever they're winning against you in a game. Whenever you visit their homes, you insist on being given deference because you "are the guest." However, whenever your friends visit your house, you insist on being the boss because "it's [your] house!" You get on your teachers' nerves by constantly drumming on things and playing with one of those little key-chain skateboards you got with your lunch. "Long division" is your mortal enemy, and your parents are going to have to purchase the math textbook that you use for this class because you could not resist the urge to draw Cool S's all throughout it. You claim to not be a virgin despite the fact that you are a 5th grader, and your claims rest upon the bold assertion you have made that you performed "fell-at-tee-oh" on all of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. You stole a pack of naked lady playing cards from your dad, and you insist that each one of them is your girlfriend. If you are prevented from calling someone a "gaywad" for more than 2 hours, you will begin displaying withdrawal symptoms.