These people are saying things about me that aren't true

Good morrow to all sentient beings that presently read what I am prepared to say.

Many people on the enchanted thing which we refer to as "the internet" are producing illegitimate copies of work which I have produced on my own, and are making undesirable edits of said works in which I am referred to as one who desires the company of other men, especially in a sexual or romantic context. They are no doubt doing this simply because one individual with whom I was at one point acquainted in something approximating a friendly context has conceived of it - I charge that this does not give one sufficient grounds for referring to me as a homosexual! Those that suggest otherwise are simply showing undue favoritism to the beliefs and unsubstantiated rumors being spread about my person by this rogue that goes by the sobriquet "bluesummer."

I ask why it is the case that people simply won't leave my person to its own devices, and must busy themselves with such ridiculous pastimes involving speculations regarding my sexuality. If any of you should find it within you to refer to me as a homo, I am at a loss for words. I ask that you increase the amount of distance between our respective persons and cease contact with me immediately. I will see that this undesirable state of affairs comes to a close that I find congenial to my perceived wellbeing!

Have I made myself clear to you all? Cease referring to me as a homosexual, or I will see to it that there will be consequences which compel your persons ruminate over the grave error you are making. Stooges!