Think i’m being gaslit by my boss

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17 Comments

Pretty sure and I’m not using the term gaslit to grab your attention or appear in the know.

Several times now there’s been a difference of recollection in things happening. Minor things, but enough where I immediately question it, and if I were to indulge it, would doubt my own reality.

It starts off with me being in a playful or just light mood, commenting on something he did or that happened. (Aka I asked him for something he didn’t get me, then when I joked about him not doing it, he distorts it and said actually he was asking me if I had gotten it) and not the other way around.

It just happened now. He walked by me and said ‘it’s freezing in here’ and looked at the thermostat and I think he adjusted it. Then a half our later he comes by complaining it’s so hot in here, and that’s when I comment “what? You were just saying it was so cold in here, what are you getting hot flashes?”
But then he proceeds to distort and deny that, saying “no I asked you if you were cold in here.”

Which was not true. And unfortunately the insidious ness of being gaslit, even over a minor thing, is when you take that step forward and start to consider what they said and deny your own account of things.

Beings these are minor things I’m freaking out but I also know there are other things he is a good boss about, but I wonder if there are major things he could be gaslighting people about.

Thoughts?

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Comments ( 17 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    He sounds dishonest or he just has bad memory. But if hes a good boss I wouldnt worry about it. My boss seemingly has dementia and hes a bad boss consider yourself lucky.

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    • donkeykong716
      1 year ago

      Yeah it’s a little bit of that. I go back and forth between thinking things are ok and questioning my trust/his behavior. The manager below him is worse though, and I have some kind of rapport with my GM so it’s hard for me to see if this is a little thing to let go or draw a line and say no, because either way he’s lying at times.

      But it’s not just lying it is a control tactic if he is gaslighting and that’s messed up. Lying to employees isn’t cool at all especially if I’m coming from a place of honesty and needing to know answers, it builds trust, lying betrays trust

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        1 year ago

        Yeah, I dont think you should draw a line over this issue. You gotta pick your battles and this isnt the hill to die on. If you never complain about stuff bosses tend to take things more serious when you do.

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        • donkeykong716
          1 year ago

          Yeah but when I actually consider leaving because of this issue, I actually feel more hopeful and positive about finding a new place to work. That’s a green flag and I feel more like myself, like the person I want to be. So that tells me I might be dealing with something in general and specifically the gaslighting that are sucking the life out of me….

          I know what you’re saying though, except for me, personally, the second I realize a situation is having a real detrimental affect on my physical or mental/spiritual health, I’m out.

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          • 1WeirdGuy
            1 year ago

            Your new job could be worse. Idk how much he's gas lighting you but often times bosses or coworkers are even worse than that.

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            • donkeykong716
              1 year ago

              This is true. I literally keep feeling it out on a daily basis. But I don’t think it’s as bad as it is. Part of my issue is I have long standing trust issues (perhaps I was gaslit in the past) so when someone tells me something that doesn’t match my reality or view on things, I tend to assume My POV is right and valid and I question theirs

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    Maybe you're boss is having his period?

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    • donkeykong716
      1 year ago

      You mean a “non-menstruating person”?

      I’m dead.

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      • RoseIsabella
        1 year ago

        🤓👍🏻🤣👻

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    Call the person out on it directly with no warning, you’ll know from the immediate reaction whether you are or not. And you have every right to do so.

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    • donkeykong716
      1 year ago

      Explain further? As in accuse them of gaslighting me and see their response? Or letting them know they were mistaken ?
      I almost see an opportunity for them to gaslight/deny again.

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      • Tommythecaty
        1 year ago

        Both.

        They might deny it, but then at least they’ll know you’re onto it.

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        • donkeykong716
          1 year ago

          That is true.. and you can gauge their reaction for further information

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          • Tommythecaty
            1 year ago

            Yep, then punch em right in the dick.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    1 year ago

    have you considered that youre readin way too deep into things and that youre takin shit too seriously and that your boss might just be an idiot?

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    • donkeykong716
      1 year ago

      No I haven’t thought that, mostly because I don’t think like you. Thanks for the help though, you’re real nice.

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        1 year ago

        Imagine how the world would be if everyone thought like him 😂

        Thered be no squirrels

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