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Is it normal to think of something to say after the moment has passed? Sometimes when I'm in an argument I'll think of a good response to something someone said, but it won't happen until a few minutes after the argument ended. I've had these post-argument thoughts all my life.
hahahahha omg all the time...i have a bad temper when im mad n i usually go off on a baddd rant...its only until after its all over then i think of the stuff i shoulda said n it makes me angry all over again that i didnt!
I think of comebacks to things that HAVEN'T EVEN HAPPENED! It's called an overactive imagination, and I think it's perfectly normal.
Its perfectly normal to have post argument revisions.
It actually allows you to polish certain type of interactions, so when similar situations arise in the future, you will have a more well thought response.
It is actually rather healthy to do so. Keep it up !
Yes, lots of people frequently think of a come back just too late for it to be useful.
Sometimes I go right overboard, and retrace a conversation I've had where someone ticked me off ever so slightly, often a stranger or someone I don't know very well, and I imagine if it had gone much worse about the argument that would have followed.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, I just put it down to an overactive imagination.
yes this happens a lot, it certainly happen to me when i was arguing with senator Mccain.
lol.
Yea, I do that a lot. I am slow, bc I blank out a lot when my mind is occupied.
x) Lol!
AS for me - yes, it happens ALL OF THE DAMN TIME!!!
It makes me so annoyed that I didn't come up with it in the moment. Gah!
Yes I always do this! I'll review over the argument in my head after I lost it and thembj come up with a comeback to what the other person said. I can't bronc the conversation back up because they will just be like 'that is so over' or something it's very frustrating!
I do this all the time. It's normal for me. I'm trying to stop thinking on all the good comebacks I could have, should have said once the time has passed. There's been so many times in my life.
You live and learn.
Hopefully that time will come again and you'll know what to say, how to say it, and hear applause inside once you've nailed it. No shame.
Job well done.
Yep, I do this all the time. "Dammit! Why didn't I think of that earlier?!"
An entire episode of 'Seinfeld' was dedicated to this, involving George traveling across the country just to deliver a good comeback. (But what hasn't that show touched on?)
Completely normal. Track down the book 'The Art of Verbal Self-Defense', it might help.
IF YOU THINK TO SPEAK THEN THE MOMENT WOULD PASS AWAY, BUT IF JUST LET OUT FROM YOUR CHEST AND HEART WITHOUT THINKING THEN YOU CAN ARGUE GOOD..
BY THE WAY YOUR SITUATION IS NORMAL..
I am quick to reply in person.. not so much when i'm talking on the phone with someone. This is why i text a LOT more than i make calls
Fuck yes happens to me all the time, but I go back and give them a piece of the rest of my mind. it's quite effective in future arguments lol.............
I was always wondering about this. It's funny because you always seem to think of the right thing to say when you're barely thinking at all, and when you think a lot, the words don't come out right.
Do it all the time especially after an argument I always come up with the best things to say or when the moment calls for a snappy good comeback I always fall short until the moment is over.
heck yesss! and i hate when that happens its like really why didnt i think of that before. and for me it replays over and over in my head like what wouldda happened if i had thought of it and said it...oh well i guess there is a reason why things dont come to us right away..but i dont have a good reason why not!
I think it's not normal because:
1)You should be the ones deciding when to think and what to think.
2)You should be the ones making the thoughts happen,it's not normal if thoughts just come out of nowhere.When it's too late or too early.
If you experience extreme distress while the argument is taking place there is definitely something wrong.Because there might be a mood issue going on.To make it short,I think It's not normal and you are a bunch of freaks.For the time being,but I could be changing my own mind soon enough.
well there is a difference between clever and witty. You maybe are clever but surely you don't sound like witty :)
Yes, it is called thinking.
We all should do it a lot more before responding.
Yes, but this new comeback usually isn't *as* great as I make it out to be in my head. It just feels that way because I'm mad I choked.
yeah thats normal, i was in an argument because there was a rumour that i had called someone a bit**. and i didnt no wat to say,
but then about 5 mins later i thought about wat i should of said.
"i would never call u a bit** but now that u mention it, no-one in this world suits that name beter than u" i just hope this argument comes up again so i can use that,
no thats wrong, i dont like arguing.
i do that alot. sometimes, i'll think of a comeback, then carry on the conversation by myself. weird, right?
I definitely agree! I'll walk away and then I'll be like "shit I should Have said that!" lol
Lol who put they're name as Obama and said stuff about McCain! This cracked me up!
In France the word for that is something like "espirit de esclair" meaning "stairway wit" or thinking of a good response after you've left.
Lots of good input on this one. Don't know if I have anything much to add except I know exactly. What helps me is to try to step aside emotionally when things start to go south with another person. I find myself much more reactive and in a tactful way. Nothing I regret. I like the first comment about arguments would never end if it wasn't for this.
Totally normal, everytime I argue with someone I think back to what I couldve said to hurt them more.
Oh god,i cant tell you how often this happens to me.Its common but it gets real annoying after awhile.Specially a good argument.
Then when you go back sometimes its not as consitstent or agreeing what you said.
Same thing here, but I also get a rush of anxiety when people yell at me. So as long as its a nice debate I can usually think of something to say in good time, but thats why I choose to avoid arguing.
i get it all the time ! it makes me so mad because i cant think of it at that very moment. 100%% normal.
The same situation(sp?)... I really get it all the time, even before the conversation. I got to hit my head many times to get it away. That's some creepy stuff. I feel like I'm crazy or something... Maybe I'm just overthinking or something like I usually (think) I do.
I hate it too! "THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD'VE SAID!!" and i head back to the airport and fly back to say it.
Happens to me! I thought i'm just not quick-witted to follow up the argument with what I really want to say! =[
why ask such an obvious question? would you rather people say no, your fucking insane?
Jim Pfoss is right, if this didn't happen you wouldn't stop arguing and every argument would end in a breakup/divorce. It's better off when you forget, because what could possibly be the point of wanting to come back with something else? You want to "score one" against the other team? That's ridiculous and useless.