Those inspirational faux antiques actually make me angry

This really pisses me off. They do it with clothes as well.

Half the time when I pull a nice t-shirt or hoodie off the rack to try on, I find that it has some fucking stupid slogan on it so I can't wear it.

My aunt got me a word art thing once. All these girly bs sayings like "shopping is my happy place" etc like a fucking barbie in print.

It offended me doubly because I'd always thought we were close, and this just showed me she didn't have a fucking clue about me.

"Always believe that something wonderful will probably never happen."

"Be yourself! Nobody else wants to be you."

"Eat right. Stay hydrated. Exercise regularly. Die anyway."

"Ninety five percent of conversations are an total waste of time."

"Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet."

"If you hate yourself, always remember that you are not alone - lots of other people hate you too."

"You can't do it - go back to bed."

"You are always stronger than most babies."

"DREAM! (To escape your pathetic life)"

"True love is when two people lower their standards by just the right amount."

"Happiness is temporary. Death is forever. Have a nice weekend."

"We all die alone."

"Some people just aren't going to find love."

"Be Optimistic! Today could be the day you meet your future ex!"

I fucking Loathe the “forced distressed” furniture. What’s worse it taking actual antiques and then painting them to look more like an antique. Fuck that. It’s not clever and they look tacky as fuck. I can’t wait for that trend to burn.

My mother used to have a sign that said “I can only please one person per day, today’s not your day and tomorrow doesn’t look good either”. She loved that sign, hung it distastefully from a light fixture and would refer to it often. I wonder where it is now.

The only correct sign to have in your house is a cursive “Live Laugh Lube” and see how long it takes people to notice.

*Hangs a rustic, old timey sign over my door with the statement: "You will see manmade horrors beyond your comprehension."*

Like when costco sells retro board games (monopoly, chess, clue, scrabble) in an old weathered re designed look, but its really just a marketing ploy to get you to buy the same game you already have and its not really retro, or looks nothing like any one of those games would have from say, 1960

Yeah I hate that too, it does look fake and tacky. Real antiques have character about them, but these modern pieces are completely soul-less frauds.

I don't really mind if something is an antique really though, like it doesn't have to be old, just as long as it's hand-made in the same traditional way that things were made back then, and not just mass-produced in a factory with modern parts. It's especially egregious if imitation plastic is used instead of traditional materials like wood or metal.

I don't really get the appeal, either. Yes, it is definitely very cheesy. I also don't like the distressed/antiqued look and never have.

My brother's girlfriend loves those things. I crashed on his couch for a night and his place id filled with that crap

I think you mean "faux", not "foe".

They serve a purpose. They're the crap gift you give a coworker or distant relative.