To feel this trapped in life

14% Normal
9 Comments

I feel so trapped in life right now. Let me explain...

2 months ago, a family situation happened, and is still happening. I can't go into details, but all of us are paying for it.

First, my brother is taking meds for his depression. My niece is more cranky and has more temper tantrums than usual. My dad is still the same, but he's getting less sleep and is less motivated. My mom is the complete opposite. She has more breakdowns, snaps easily, and cannot focus on her work.

That just leaves me then. How am I dealing with this situation that just keeps getting worse? I'm dealing with this horribly. I'm getting less sleep, impatient with my niece, but there's more to my struggles than that.

I feel like I'm in a bubble of which cannot pop. I get the babysitter role, in which I have to stay just in case my mom and dad go somewhere. I get the most freedom out of everyone in my family. However, that freedom is taken away when my fiance is in a grumpy mood. He thinks my parents are trapping me on purpose. I have to explain to him that no one asked for this situation to happen, but he seems convinced.

It really gets to my parents and I when my niece can't find anything to talk about with her dad on video chat. We give her suggestions, but her response is "we already did that".

What's worse is that my mom warned me this situation could last up to four years! Like what?! My fiance and I want to get married, and now I have to postpone it because I'm the babysitter?! I don't mind looking after my niece once in awhile, but not everyday?! Additionally, if it'll last that long, my mother said she would leave cause it's not healthy. I understood that, but that means I'll have to stay with my dad to make sure he isn't stressed out or doesn't have a heart attack.

As a result in all of this, I can't find the energy to do many things, or do the things I used to enjoy. I often think of suicide, but won't do it because my family will suffer more. I can't express my emotions in fear I'll get shut out. I keep them bottled up and try my best to get through the day. This results in me not being as happy as I was and getting into more arguments with my fiance.

I know this is definitely not normal, but how can my family and I continue to live?

Voting Results
14% Normal
Based on 7 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • windyleave
    4 years ago

    That's really tough, it's like you're between four walls and simply can't escape, but this is my suggestion from everything I understand about your situation: you want to live a normal life and marry your fiance, but the stress of the whole thing is weighing you down constantly, so I know that what I'm going to say isn't a perfect solution, but it might make things better: marry your fiance, adopt your niece (at least temporarily) and move out. That way at least you'll have what could be considered a normal life, a family, and more freedom. You're taking care of your part of the job while managing to make it more tolerable. About your dad, I really think that he is the one taking it better out of all of you, so I wouldn't think about being constantly around him. Keeping contact might be enough, but you can always visit regularly. Maybe seeing you happier will make him happy too. Good luck!

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  • CDmale4fem
    4 years ago

    You didnt give any ages, but your niece, is she a teenager yet ? It sounds to me that your parents need a slap in the face to snap back to reality. They need to remember they have responsibility to each other and the wedding vows "for better or for worse" means just that. Im sorry you are having to be the "adult" and the entire situation lands in your lap. As you did mention previous thoughts of suicide, and you wouldnt do that. Thats very adult of you. That would be the easy way out. But to persevere in hard times tells you and others how strong you really are or can be.
    I have a sister in law that when my nephew got in trouble she runs down and drops $5000 on an attorney. She always trying to fix things for others.
    You may be the most sane one, but dont let the situation drive you crazy by trying to fix everyone elses issues in life. If your neice is old enough she needs to realize she can just explode in a rage when things dont go her way. I been saying for years the lack of being able to spank or discipline kids, they run with that shit. So much better when kids understood the consequences of their actions.
    If you have to walk away and let them fend for themself to save yourself. You can always contact DHS and then you know somebody would be helping them.

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    • LOLFanProductions
      4 years ago

      She's 4

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      • CDmale4fem
        4 years ago

        Well that makes a big difference. Where is her mom and dad ? Still around her ?

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        • LOLFanProductions
          4 years ago

          Well all I can say is that my niece and her father got separated by CAS. I can't say anything more than that.

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  • TerriAngel
    4 years ago

    Not sure the point of your post?
    I don't deal in drama.
    You obviously do.
    Therefore you have knowone to blame.
    Except you.
    If you are better then this.
    Then dump these losers and move on.

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  • GaelicPotato
    4 years ago

    You're not normal. Now go get Corona.

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  • Nikclaire
    4 years ago

    All those words and you didn't bother to mention the "situation". What a waste of fucking time.

    You're not normal.

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  • sissycakes
    4 years ago

    I am not sure on the situation, but they say if you make yourself smile then you might be happier. Also, maybe try to tune out what is going on.

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