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I am so tired of this world and society. How the shit do I escape this torture. I feel like I live in the matrix and here is all these people blindly following like an idiot. Sometimes I wish that I was that. I wouldn't have to feel this way. I can't make myself assimilate to that. Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do to cope?
I think it's fairly common to feel that way in your early 20's, and I honestly don't think it has anything to do with your "disorder" (sorry- don't know what else to call it! My brother is bipolar btw). I know I felt that way...it's sort of a weird time in your life where you're coming to terms with who you are and trying to reconcile that with who you're supposed to be.
At least for me...I felt confronted by a bunch of life's landmarks of where I was supposed to be at, and I didn't feel as if I quite met up, or had any idea where I was going. Not to mention the difficulty of only just learning who you are and realising that you don't quite fit in with the rest of the world.
I wish I could give you some sage fucking advice, but I really can't; all I can tell you is what I did...I just kept on not fitting in, in spite if the lows that life threw at me, and there were quite a few. I tried to learn the best I could from my experiences, and ended up smacked and humbled by life quite a few times...but I eventually found somewhere where I did fit. I'm still, STILL trying to figure stuff out though, but I'm so much happier.
Escaping with the preconceived idea of escaping never really works- your problems follow you, but you totally can take journeys (travel, experience new things, do crazy shit) with the goal of learning more about people and who you are.
Fuck, every difficult, crazy thing you get through in life gives you confidence when the next difficult, crazy thing comes up. I know, with all of the shit I've been through, that I can make it through a lot...which always helps with my mental state when I'm going through a hard time.
I've rambled!
Yes awesome. Thank You :)
I think I just need to find being comfortable in being against the grain. I can totally relate to what you are saying too.
Again THANK YOU
I'm glad I could help, if ony a little bit! I feel like I rambled about a bunch of nonsense, but I do want you to know that I've been through what you're going though, and it's just a difficult time in life
...omg- and don't even get me started on all the cunts that make it look all easy..."of course I have health insurance, and car insurance, and my taxes are current, and I have my mortgage paid off half way, and my adorably, blonde fiancé is up the duff"...it's not that easy, assholes!
You shouldn't feel like you don't measure up. Stop comparing yourself to the rest of the world, and figure your own shit out at your own pace in your own way. That's what I had to do.
Feel free to PM me if you ever need a friend. As someone who doesn't desperately long to touch your sexy internet vagina, like all of the other males on here (cough), I'd be more than happy to listen if you need someone to talk to. Sorry you're having a hard time.
-countess douche
:)
You are awesome. I really appreciate it. I never thought I would get all the responses on this that I did. I figured people would tell me to pull my pants up and tighten my belt. Not so easy. I'm just in a weird place in life and dealing with the issues I do doesn't help anything. I really appreciate this feed back honestly. :)
I will definitely message you.
Alright ladies rate this stunningly handsome man 1/10
Don't mind the cute rat in my profile
Here's a link to my pic for you and Tayler. The pic in your profile is disgusting
https://scontent-arn2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/t31.0-8/11779906_459355064237258_2103216320882588209_o.jpg?efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9
Rats have relatively short live spans and having so many I've stopped naming them but if I do its either "rat" or "buddy" depending on its behavior and communicate with them using clicks and wissles. If words are used, the less syllables the better. Words that are short and sharp sounding like "fuck" and "shit" are good words if they are to be used as opposed to "supercafristicexpiallidocous" I'm sure you get what I'm saying.
The old rat I had was a white dumbo but the new one is brown and her name is simply Rat. Do you have any animals to keep you company or what not?
p.s. Oh yeah, if you can do me a favor and pm the account you replied to I'll be giving you a simple codeword for future references as I will having it disabled soon. Thanks
Are you the guy that likes videos of cat being killed?? are you nice to that rat?? if that's really you??
That's the sort of ramble which is interesting to read and I reckon would be of help to OP xxxx
Odd, this is the first post i've seen on this site without an "is it normal" button. It makes it kinda hard to respond to. Well you clearly need to spice up your life. Read some articles, Join meetups, become a member of a forum, and make new friends and if worst comes to worst, you could always move to another city to give life a new glow. Realize that what u see around u isn't the world as a whole but your region of influence, and life you guide. Im sure your life would be very different if you had a different job, school and family, or if you lived in a different geographic region, you only think u are trapped.
But you just did respond. How did not having a button make typing this repsone any harder?
It is a option for gold members where you can do a discussion only option with no is it normal or not. I've moved and been all over the place and yes initially it helps but eventually this feeling always finds a way to creep back up. I know a lot of it has to do with being bipolar but there has to be another way. I always say I think I would be most happy living in the woods by myself surviving on my own skills. Not worrying about what society thinks or needs from me.
It that's how you want to live, you need to put some effort into learning the necessary skills and in doing that, I'll bet you'll meet some like minded people.
I know many people with bipolar who live full and useful lives including some celebrities - eg Stephen Fry and heaps of others I can't think of at the moment.
No bipolar support groups anywhere near you? Have you looked for one?
I definitely agree with you. I have a hard time explaining what I mean. It isn't necessarily society just how life works and the way things flow more or less. I feel like I don't fit into that and I have a hard time adjusting to it. To me I just feel like life can't be going to school, then college, then you get married and have kids. That is so not me. I don't know :( I can't fully explain what I mean. Unfortunately there isn't. I lost my insurance back in January and I haven't had any therapy or medication since. I was doing okay now not so much now.
Anyone that takes the red pill cannot revert back to blue it only goes one way you know that
I don't want to go back. I am just not sure how to make this work now. Or deal with it.
Not yet it isn't talking. :)
I use that to self medicate. If I wasn't at work I would be pouring myself one.
I just read you have bipolar I do as well and also use alcohol to self medicate but only level out the Adderall which is a stimulant. I knew long ago you and I had something in common, infact the more I read your comments, perhaps too much in common in a connection-creepy way
I'll be boozing it up hard later
:) There are only so many distractions. It's hard to even be distracted from it whens it's in your face all the time.
:)
That's true, they always run out, and when they do there's always a feeling of fuck what now, I completely related to this post, right down to almost wish I was that too, living in a kind of ignorant bliss I guess
But why do you feel like you can't let yourself think, why you have to settle to just cope? fuck that, you deserve more than that, almost everyone does, distracting myself and stopping myself from having thoughts is probably the most self destructive things I've done, because when I do allow myself time to think, I often make sense of a lot of shit, end up asking why I feel the need to distract myself why I feel sick of the world around me, and if no one does that no one's gonna get answers, focusing on ways to cope is like just putting a plaster on an infected wound
Obviously everyone's different so I don't think there's one universal right answer but I really hope you find yours
So true. It's hard for me to explain I just know there is more to this life than what society's path has laid out. But to even survive or make it I have to follow society's rules. I hate that. I just can't believe that is what I am meant for. I don't mean this in a vain way or that I am better than anyone, but it almost feels like I have some type of knowledge more so than others I just haven't quite figured it out. You said it best, Ignorance is bliss. I sometimes feel I could be that way and be better off for it. I feel like my life would be so much different if I didn't feel this way. It really is a self sabotaging way of thinking. I just wish I could find a happy medium between the two. It does make me feel a lot better to know that I am not alone in this thinking. It really is a lonely place sometimes.
Why do you HAVE to follow all society's rules? Most people don't and it's the ones who blindly do so who have boring unproductive lives.
Break a few of the rules in ways that don't harm ourself or others and see where that takes you.
Which rules do you believe you HAVE to follow anyway?
Keep your attitude Tayler, you're doing just fine. Life isn't as lonely as you think it is.
"I am so tired of this world and society. How the shit do I escape this torture. I feel like I live in the matrix and here is all these people blindly following like an idiot. Sometimes I wish that I was that. I wouldn't have to feel this way. I can't make myself assimilate to that. Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do to cope?"
I find sites like this to type away the seconds, minutes, hours, nights, days, weeks, months, seasons and years.
I don't believe in bipolar disorder or the medical model. I believe in electromagnetic toxicity. Humans are social creatures. We go where the people are. Half the world's population are on the internet. The internet is an electromagnetic trap, like a prison for the mind and soul.
I think the Matrix movie caused psychological damage in the masses. I'm not a fan of that movie. In fact, I don't watch movies at all.
I think you're looking for a vital connection. Somebody who recognizes and understands you. Somebody who values and appreciates you. Somebody to share time and space with, harmoniously. Mutual connections can be hard to find but it's very possible. Believing in the possibility of finding just the right friend or lover is like opening the pathway for it to happen for you. Of course, you'll want to be fair with your expectations. Life can be like the movies sometimes, or even a song (have you ever lived a song?) but more often than not life is not like a movie at all. Picture perfect is an illusion.
:)
it's me, the guy who said that he would walk through the desert for you ;) but you probably don't know me...I have been here for a while but my old accounts have all been banned, anyway I think you're a super cool person and I know that recently you've been feeling kind of down and feel like life doesn't make sense, well I feel similar to that a lot, and I struggle with my self esteem and confidence too, but I just think that there will always be someone out there who is less fortunate than me, and sure it's unfair sometimes, but the way I see it is that we all try our best and focus on the things we can control, and the things we can't control we shouldn't stress over them. I'm introverted and shy but ironically I like being around people and it gives me a kind of energy to observe strangers going about their lives as long as I'm not the center of attention. The one thing I can say I've learned about life is that few things are set in stone, so keep an open mind and open heart and continue learning. I have felt trapped before too, but usually it just takes a mental adjustment or a change in attitude, even new experiences, to make me believe that life can be exciting and worth living, despite how mundane and dull it may seem at times. I wish you the best!
You can always message me to if you'd like if you are feeling down or whatever. I feel down a lot and it helps to just talk to someone sometimes.
Hi it's me. :)
Thank you! I completely relate with all that you said. I try to stay positive but sometimes it is hard. I just need a whole life adjustment. I am getting there. Just taking a little bit of time. I appreciate you and the fact that you would walk through the desert for me :) I wish you the very best and hope that not too many scorpions get you along the way.!!!!
Get a cow and you'll have endless love :3 but seriously this world is beyond damaged it makes me sad that the majority of people have become careless idiots. I don't live in the middle of a city or town, but when I venture into one it's like woah what the fuck is this? I think England is one of the places that needs A LOT of work. But hey, just take life as it comes and don't get to down about things cause no one gets out alive o :
I do love moo moos. That is how I view it. I hate the world and what we has people have become. I always say I would be most happy living out in the wild homesteading so to speak. Not having to answer to anyone or the world really for that matter. I am trying to stay up beat and positive just really hard sometimes.
I feel ya, and we have something in common that I never really openly discuss...
I don't like this world very much and I often just want to run away. I mean fly away...and one day I just might. I'll swoop down and scoop you up and then it's off to Alaska!
Alaska is the ultimate end goal. I use to never openly discuss having bipolar disorder. I just got tired of being stigmatized and judge for it. I feel like if I can be open and honest the people I come in contact with may understand better and know that I am more than that. So feel free to scoop me up anytime I am ready to go. We will ride off into the sunset together. :)
Unfortunately, I think I can relate too well. It sounds like you don't really have a sense of direction right now and you're unsure where to turn. It's easy to say "do what makes you happy." However, sometimes the hardest part is figuring all that out.
It may sound like the cliche thing to say, but the only advice I can give is never give up. That's why you keep trying things. Don't allow yourself to take the easy way out in your own life. Force yourself to experience things because I think that's how you figure it out.
Believe it or not, you're not alone. There are other people out there having a hard time finding their way and going through similar struggles for different reasons. I've known people who have given up and look for somewhere else to hide. They end up as another sad story. Just saying, never give up!
I understand. I absolutely hate this disgusting and foolish world full of insanity, horror and depravity. Most people are so goddamn stupid, we can't even get enough support to lift ourselves out of the filth we live in. Also, the few visionaries who try to help are mercilessly attacked by the unsophisticated and disgusting attitudes of the proles around them.
If I didn't have a successful career and lots of money, I definitely would have killed myself long before now.
Stevie, old boy, wear your C-string in the park, or drive nude around London. I ask you this: Does a happy man actually give a fuck?
Somehow, you posts belie the words, "a successful career and lots of money". You come off more like some prepubescent child, pouting cause you don't get your way.
Not really.
I'm quite goal-oriented and I'm always working on some sort of personal project. I just make things that I like whenever possible. If I get bored then I fence or study.
I was never comfortable in society. From an early age I knew there was nothing for me on shore. Some days, long before I went to sea, I would sit on the beach and gaze out at the Pacific for hours.
I found my place, on the sea. I could earn a living there, raise a child there and find a peace that the land just could not provide me.
To this day, my only real connection to the land is a 3" x 5.5" PO Box.
give me your p/o box. unless your scared. in your case po stands for Pussy out because you're too afraid to have mail sent to a real address. now let me predict your "erudite contribution":
"Again thank you for all this attention. I LOVE IT! Keep it up. My ego is just bursting with happiness that I consume so much of your time and thoughts. Little old me getting so much attention. Whoda thunk? Thank you, Oh Thank you, Thank you."
Just exactly would you consider a "real address"?
The fourth wave east of Point Sabine? Dumbass.
I see you deleted your previous reply like a good little pussy boy.
I'm still not seeing an address, so I'm going to assume you're scared. A scaredy cat talking big under an anonymous username on the Internet doesn't do much but make me laugh, so thanks for that, fag.
There are many ways to live your life, decide what you'd like to try, then... try it.
Sadly that is easier said then done. Especially when I feel the way that I do. It's really hard for me to explain. I just feel like there is something so much more than what is right in front of me but I just can't tap it or obtain it. Then being forced to follow along with society doesn't help anything.
Here's a bit of wisdom that I agree with completely: Whether you think you can or think you can't... you're right.
It's all in the mindset. There are no walls, there are no boundaries, this life is what YOU make of it, nothing more, nothing less.
If you don't want to conform to society, then don't. They can't make you do it. The sad part, if there is one, is that all choices have consequences, some you will like, some you won't. However, even if you make what seems like a mistake if you learn from it, it had value.
Go out and learn, it's fun.
YOU HAVE CHOICES! Even in the worst circumstances we have choices.
Whatever it is you need isn't going to come knocking on your door or come giftwrapped at xmas: part of growing up is accepting that there's one choice no-one can take away from you, and that's how you respond to your circumstances. You can sit around contemplating your navel and waiting for he world to change to suit you or build the sort of life you want