Touch phobic because of abuse in past

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1 Comment

So I use to live in a house with 6 other people. It was a large house that rented out rooms. I had one roommate who was always kind of horny and would be nice but ultimately expected sex in return for favors. So I stopped asking for favors. They also occasionally tried to hold me down and do stuff to me if I had come down drunk against my will. Because of this I ended up becoming phobic of anyone touching me. As well as overly skittish. I dislike when people touch my shoulders or hands. Though I guess this is sometimes a sign of comfort. I don't live there anymore but I have a new friend who is super touchy and likes to try to cuddle random people since it's what "freinds" do, and I find it weird. Apperently they do this with males and females and me asking them to stop offended them. Am I right to be anxious around my new friend or am I phobic from my past?

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67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 1 )
  • bbrown95
    2 years ago

    I think this seems normal, as I had a bad experience when I was a teenager that caused me to be pretty nervous about people getting too touchy with me for a long time as well. Nowadays, I don't mind stuff like people putting their hands on my shoulders if I know them decently well, and enjoy cuddling with people I'm very close to (a very select few people), but find it uncomfortable if a stranger or someone I barely know gets too touchy.

    Even without a prior bad experience though, I think some people just aren't big on being touched and that's completely fine and normal. It's important that people respect your boundaries and the fact that you dislike being touched. I think platonic cuddling is okay between people who want/enjoy it, but you were not out of line at all to ask them to stop since you're not comfortable with it, and they shouldn't be offended by it. It's definitely reasonable for you to dislike it after what happened to you, or for you to just not like it regardless.

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