Trouble communicating

75% Normal
7 Comments

I am very shy and anxious im always focused on myself and fearing judgment so I dont talk much in text or in real life and I absolutely dont flirt or any such things because I dont know how to talk when you do that if its like in movies or what. Because movies arent so realistic so I dont know?
Ive always only talk to leader type guys who take charge in conversations. Its easy for me and I dont need to do much so we connect well it seems but it turns out they are not good for me because we are not equal and they try to use this to their advantage. Lucky it dont work because im a stubborn somewhat controlling person hence cant be steered by someone even if I seem like someone who is easy to manipualte because im quiet but polite.
So now its time to focus on someone equal to me who is also shy and with same issue.Just as usual its just very hard to communicate. No one takes charge and keeps any conversation going because both are focused on being scared to say something dumb. Its a very difficult position. Its how it really is for me with people I can get along with when I dont hide behind someone who communicate for me. I wonder can it ever be fixed....Ive had therapy...I cant notice a single difference just being even more aware of it.

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75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Pilum
    2 years ago

    I'm exactly the same and it sucks.

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  • primrose576239
    2 years ago

    its normal, even i face difficulties sometimes talking to people. it may be that you are an introvert too.
    being aware of it is actually a good first step. the next time you need to socialize, try asking simple questions like 'how has your day been? how are things at work/ school?' and when they do answer, question them more about their day. for example- how has your day been?
    good! spent some time with my family
    are you close with your family/ who are in your family?

    i realized with the little socializing i do that people usually like to talk about their families!
    hope it helped :)

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    Try CBD oil.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      No.

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      • olderdude-xx
        2 years ago

        Agreed. That will not help you communicate better.

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  • darefu
    2 years ago

    For me the best thing with the best results was a public speaking and speach class.

    I was scared to death to get up in front of people at one time.

    One of the best lesson was impromptu speaking we had to draw a subject out of a hat and with 3 min prep time give a 5 min speach about the subject.

    Makes you think on your feet as well as if you get good at it, it is a major self confidence builder.

    You can then talk to just about anybody anytime and find something to talk about and learn to read how they are receiving what you're saying.

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  • olderdude-xx
    2 years ago

    Yes, it can be fixed. But, its up to you to fix it.

    A reality is that you are going to have to put fourth some effort to learn how to start and maintain a conversation.

    It's actually easy once you learn that most people like talking about themselves - and it only takes a bit of effort to keep them talking.

    I highly suggest that you read the following two books to assist you with this.

    "How to Win Friends & Influence People In The Digital Age" By: Dale Carnegie and Associates.

    "The Art of Dealing With People" by Les Giblin

    Get the paper book form. Underline, make notes, etc of things that stick out to you.

    Reread over and over for years... and you will find a lot of information that you did not understand initially (you have to master the basic skills first before you understand other things that are in these book.

    I've reread "How to Win Friends... at least once a year for several decades. I'm still getting better each year.

    There are also many other books out there... but, starting with those two classics is usually a good foundation for the other books.

    Practice makes you perform better, and improved communication skills increases your income and other options.

    I wish you well with this,

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