Unavailable men staring

68% Normal

This has bothered me since early teens, when I started noticing the looks men would give me occasionally. Today I was reminded of this feeling.

What the hell is wrong with you non-available men?????

Why do you stare at me and completely undress me with your eyes when you are accompanied by your lady-friend, girlfriend, wife???

Why do I have to feel like I should be punching you in the face for your woman?

Seriously. Why? Why do you do this? Respect your women, for God's sake! At least pretend you do.

is it normal I am so bothered by this?

Voting Results

68% Normal

Based on 143 votes (97 yes)

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Comments ( 37 )

Avant-Garde

11 years ago

It's normal. I remember when I was in my preteens/early teens and I was starting to deal with puberty, there would always be some guy trying to undress me with their eyes or talking about me. I was once in a gas station with my now late grandfather and they were two older "teen" boys. They were staring in my direction and saying weird things (Damn, she's sexy! I'd like to my way with her, etc.) They made everyone uncomfortable and my grandfather got so pissed off that he told me to go wait for him in the car. Those Pervy eyes followed me out the door O_0

There was another time where I was at the mall with my grandmother and I was trying to get some food. The guy behind the counter had to be in his 30's and I was about 11. Anyway, the whole time that guy was clearly flirting with me. He made me do uncomfortable and then he asked me how old I was so I told him. He acted surprise and then he started going on about how he thought I was in my 20's, but he obviously lying....

Some men have wandering eyes while others are just pedobears. O_O

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- blondbond69
  
  11 years ago
  
  Get over it
  
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  - Avant-Garde
    
    11 years ago
    
    Hmm, so much negativity...
    
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PinkMango

11 years ago

I don't take it as a compliment either, it's rude to me and to their counterpart. I get stared at all the time... single guy (or guy sans chick)... yay!, guy with chick...beat it, LOSER!

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BurnaBaby27

11 years ago

It's sad. I guess a lot of guys have a wandering eye.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Maybe he was just looking at you? Women have this whole thing that things like a handshake equals to wanting to have sex with you.

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- NeuroNeptunian
  
  11 years ago
  
  You didn't get the memo?
  That's exactly what it means. And if you hold the door open for a woman, that means you want to impregnate her.
  
  Don't ask what it means to let a woman borrow your car. Nonverbal communication has changed a lot since the early 2000's. Better keep up, ya old fart.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    Back in the day, young lassy, we needed to engage in romance to know we like eachother...Those were the day. -old man noises-
    -goes to sleep on my chair-
    
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    - NeuroNeptunian
      
      11 years ago
      
      WTF is a romance?
      
      You mean, people had to "like" each other back then? How'd they do that without Facebook? XD
      
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NeuroNeptunian

11 years ago

A man looks at you and you automatically assume that he is undressing you with his eyes...

Then again, I don't get stared at. Well, if I did, I wouldn't know, I generally don't look at anyone long enough to tell.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

they do this because they are men. and that is what men do. take it as a compliment i bet theres some ugly troll crying because no one ever stare rapes her

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- VioletTrees
  
  11 years ago
  
  I can't speak for the OP. That said, guys do this to me sometimes, and having people say "take it as a compliment" really doesn't help. I know you're trying to help, but it invalidates my feelings about it. People use the same argument to tell women not to worry about men who grope, bully, harass, or stalk them, too, and it doesn't make it ok. Having men act inappropriately to me like that doesn't feel like a compliment, it feels threatening, and I shouldn't have to repackage other people's inappropriate behaviour as a positive thing.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    Okay... andd what's she supposed to do about it? People will continue to do it whether or not you are comfortable so why not just move on and not let it bother you, there are far more important things to be worried about
    
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    - VioletTrees
      
      11 years ago
      
      There's something to be said for looking at things in a positive light, and if that works for you, that's great. My point is that that doesn't work for everybody in this case.
      
      There are more important things to worry about, and I'm worried about those, too. I don't think that's a valid argument for ignoring this issue or the related issue of street harassment. It's not like we've broken into a meeting about world hunger, demanded that everybody there stop talking about famine, and insisted that they talk about this instead.
      
      As for what she's supposed to do, that's up to her. For you, it sounds like looking at it as a compliment helps. For me, that advice makes things worse. She can (but is in no way obligated to) confront men who she catches staring at her. She can (but is in no way obligated to) participate in campaigns to stop street harassment, such as www.ihollaback.org that help women deal with these situations and educate men about appropriate behaviour. If she's getting unwanted attention repeatedly from somebody she works with, she can (but is in no way obligated to) report it to a superior. Or she can talk about it, like she's doing here.
      
      For me, it helps to know that I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who doesn't take it as a compliment. It helps to know that I don't have to be polite to men who are rude to me. It helps to know that I'm allowed to speak up if I want to. Most of all, it helps to know that when I'm uncomfortable with being objectified, it's not because there's something wrong with me, or I'm a negative person, or I'm awkward, or I don't know how to take a compliment. It's because the person objectifying me is being an ass. I need that to stay sane.
      
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KrunkFu

11 years ago

Us men are very visual creatures.. It's normal in every way possible. When I'm with my girlfriend we check out girls together, there's nothing wrong with admitting a girl is sexy or has a nice body. Chill.

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theytookthisone

11 years ago

Thank you! I feel the same way, it's so damn annoying. Have some respect for your woman!

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AtomicCollider

11 years ago

I'm a guy and even I have guys staring at me sometimes. =/

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- [Old Memory]
  
  11 years ago
  
  Exactly. Does that mean they want to jump your bones? No, they are just looking.
  
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tehfoxyfire

11 years ago

This would infuriate me when I was younger. Occasionally now I still feel a bit upset when they do this. It really bothers,me. It's normal for you to feel this way. Other females understand you.

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iEatZombies_

11 years ago

Something so creepy about the look in a guy's eye when he's thinking of boinkin ya.
Just thinking back... *Shivers*

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Faceless

11 years ago

HEY! Im handsome so im allowed to do it.

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disthing

11 years ago

One time this girl looked at me. I was like...
"What the fuck? Why are you looking at me? You clearly want to rape me you perv!"

Anyway, after I said that to her she went crying to her mummy and then guess what? HER MUM comes round and looks at me too!? She said,

"That's no way to speak to a 6 year old girl"

and I said,

"Fuck you stop mentally undressing me! You only directly look at somebody you intend to sleep with! Perv!"

So I know where you're coming from. I hate these people staring at me. Like... Put your guy boners and chick boners away people! Avert your eyes when royalty is present! JEEZ!

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

Early teens...? :/

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Nokiot9

8 years ago

Just because someone is looking in ur general direction, doesn't mean they wanna F you or are undressing u with their eyes. You sound like one of those chicks that knows she's hot, and thinks the entire world stops and takes notice because they revolve around.

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regisphilbin

9 years ago

you should be flattered that a man would check you out even when he was with his girlfriend/wife...you're an ungrateful woman!

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thehairygirl

11 years ago

Men are disrespectful a lot.

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Crudhouse

11 years ago

Cover it up.

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Short&2thepoint

11 years ago

OH MY GOD! What a douchebag, shoot him for looking at something beautiful, like it wasn't made to look at? ... or are you just one of those ugly ones that one cant help but be fascinated by? :)

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- robbieforgotpw
  
  11 years ago
  
  Especially during the summer when girls look really hot. We know girls don't dress for men though. If men didn't look and give women any attention what would they do? They'd say "Am I ugly? Men don't look anymore"
  
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  - Short&2thepoint
    
    11 years ago
    
    Can't live with em, can't live without em.
    
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GoraIntoDesiGals

11 years ago

They might be with a female friend, sister, cousin, etc. Why do you automatically assume it's their gf/wife?

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smartpatrol11

11 years ago

If I look at you Im undressing you with my eyes and imagining running my tongue all over your pussy and arse byt thats just me

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funny_thoughts917

11 years ago

I know it is disrespectful to women but when I find someone I feel is attractive I have wondering eyes that occasionally break my neck it in our genes that men are attracted to women ( most men at least ) and I am not justifying anything but it happens by the way sometimes when I look at women I am not eye raping their body I am looking at their face cuz they r beautiful. ;)

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Dad

11 years ago

Normal male thing.
ALL guys do it, and if they don't they REALLY forcing themselves not to (just to act nice around their partner)
I think their partners should accept that ALL guys do this.
ALL of them.

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Austalien

11 years ago

When you get older you'll realise lots of couples that are swingers not just men.

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KeddersPrincess

11 years ago

Doesn't always mean he's undressing you with his eyes. He may not even be staring at you. He may be think about something or looking at something next to you or it may even be the angle he's in. I think you're jumping to conclusion. People assume I'm staring at them all the time, when, in reality, I'm just lost in thought. You're taking this way out of context.

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thinkingaboutit

11 years ago

It bothers you because your boyfriend/husband does/will do the sammmmee shit.

lol it's just life. you won't be a pretty young thang for long. so enjoy it :)

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Are You Normal?

Unavailable men staring